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Save the feckin date....

  • 29-05-2015 7:17pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 83 ✭✭


    So I've been told to save the date, its in August next year.

    I've been told i will be invited to the wedding of a very seldom seen cousin. She's a nice girl though.

    Its lovely they're getting married, they're together 10 years, I've only met the husband to be once, seems like a nice lad.

    Thing is, i hate weddings. They are like a big fat utility bill to me.


    Its on a Saturday so i can't use work as an excuse.

    So how do i say "no" without offending them? Is there any good excuse i could use?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 577 ✭✭✭mada82


    Don't offer a reason. Just send back the decline notice.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Kwiecien wrote: »
    So I've been told to save the date, its in August next year.

    I've been told i will be invited to the wedding of a very seldom seen cousin. She's a nice girl though.

    Its lovely they're getting married, they're together 10 years, I've only met the husband to be once, seems like a nice lad.

    Thing is, i hate weddings. They are like a big fat utility bill to me.


    Its on a Saturday so i can't use work as an excuse.

    So how do i say "no" without offending them? Is there any good excuse i could use?

    It's more than a year away. Anything could happen between now and then. Stop worrying about it and wait til you get the invite.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 763 ✭✭✭Pistachios & cream


    bee06 wrote: »
    It's more than a year away. Anything could happen between now and then. Stop worrying about it and wait til you get the invite.

    Plus one for this. We were told by my fiancées relations in the uk that they wouldn't make our wedding 8-9 months before the wedding. No specific reason it just doesn't suit them. We still invited them out of politeness but they wanted us to know they probably wouldnt make it. It wouldn't bother us if they hadn't said anything and just rsvp'd no.
    Don't treat a save the date as a summons. Wait until you get the invite and then decline.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 159 ✭✭Laoislion8383


    Just rsvp no, that's what they are for, it's not like it immediate family, no need for excuses at all.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 159 ✭✭Laoislion8383


    Just rsvp no, that's what they are for, it's not like it immediate family, no need for excuses at all.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Do people RSVP to a save the date? I always thought they were just a heads up about when the wedding was on, especially for people who.have to travel or for a wedding abroad. I wouldn't commit to going to a wedding until an actual invitation arrived.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Wait for the invite. Things change.

    When/if you get it, decline with a "Sorry we can't make it, have a great day!"

    The end.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 830 ✭✭✭cactusgal


    lazygal wrote: »
    Do people RSVP to a save the date? I always thought they were just a heads up about when the wedding was on, especially for people who.have to travel or for a wedding abroad. I wouldn't commit to going to a wedding until an actual invitation arrived.

    Hmm. To me, a save the date is just that, a heads up. But I've also had the experience of getting a save the date (most recently in the form of a Facebook invite) and the couple wanting an answer 6-9 months before the wedding, before sending out invites. :/


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 598 ✭✭✭westernlass


    cactusgal wrote: »
    Hmm. To me, a save the date is just that, a heads up. But I've also had the experience of getting a save the date (most recently in the form of a Facebook invite) and the couple wanting an answer 6-9 months before the wedding, before sending out invites. :/

    We sent them to relatives abroad and most just gave an indication yes or no.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 272 ✭✭YurOK2


    Just say no.
    I hate weddings. I'm married and my sister is married and they are the only two weddings I would ever feel obligated to attend so I'm delighted that's me done forever :D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,658 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Yep tisnt too hard just say no, that you cant make it if you do not want to come out and say it now, then just wait until you get he rsvp. think to much about it and youll end up spinning a web of lies and it will be harder to get out of it


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,906 ✭✭✭clint_silver


    as all above, if theyre inviting distant cousins then probably planning a big wedding, theyre all excited. Lets say 200 people, theyll start to get a few "thanks, have a great day but cant make it" notes back in.
    As all above will tell you who've been through it, they wont be in the least be put out by a cousin saying no and will be happier that they can cross off you off the list (not meant in a bad way).

    send them a card near the wedding date as a way of congratulating them. they thought of you, go to the trouble of thinking of them. It'll be a nice touch.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 266 ✭✭nearzero


    A friend of mine sent out a Save a Date & asked if you know you definitely cannot make it to let them know at that stage cause they can extend an invite to someone else by the invite stage.

    I would just say thank for the invite & hope they have a lovely day but you wont be able to attend - no further reason needed :) I think they would appreciate it at the Save the Date stage cause they might like to ask someone else in your place!


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