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Depression....a relative

  • 28-05-2015 3:17pm
    #1
    Crash Bang Wall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,365 ✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Just looking for opinions on how to deal with this:

    Basically a family member has depression, and is unable to work due to panic attacks etc, and is currently getting counselling and on medication.

    I have a very basic understanding of depression....I suffered from it mildly some years ago, away from home and couldnt sleep cope etc....was on tablets but eventually got counselling, listened to everything the counsellor said.....got more involved socially at college, got myself off the tablets and sorted myself out

    However with the family relative, it seems to be a lot more severe, but Ive noticed a few things:
    Firstly, everyone is walking on egg shells to avoid upsetting him, which I dont have a problem with, as most family issues are minor in comparison

    However, the bit I struggle with is his attitude towards it. I have no idea what the counsellor is saying but not much in his lifestyle is changing, still drinking (not on alcoholic levels) but it seems to be his only past time

    Almost every conversation involves references to how hard the tablets are on him, and that he wants sleeping tablets, which the doctor wont prescribe. I, and some of the family have suggested joining the gym or getting more exercise as an example, but the answer always is are you saying Im fat.....from what i know from gym, playing 5 a side etc, apart from the social aspect, you feel great after it. The fact is the person is overweight, and surely exercise would help with health, helping to sleep, and a confidence boost when losing weight etc

    I also suggested trying to lower the levels of the tablets to ease the side effects....but he wont consider that either

    I just feel he wants the tablets to do all the work, while I feel that the tablets are the ladder in the deep hole, but you still have to climb it

    I just dont know what to say to him...his parents are worried sick and are bending over backwards to do anything they can to help, and so are the rest of his friends and family in the main.

    Its 6 months at this stage, and I dont know what to say to him, and when the parents chat to me I have no answers, all I can do is listen

    Is it wrong to think that he should be making a better effort to get better?

    Any views/opinions are welcome....I apologise if I come across as selfish, Im jhust saying what I think, rather than what Ive said to anyone at home


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