Anybody do Country

sephsleft06

Hi
US country?
anybody here do country,
Just looking for feedback on this lyric
particularly the lead in/ pre chorus....
Not sure if it feels disjointed?








verse 1

…remember in my car.…
We useta squeeze on through the front seat divide
Dust flew, watering your blue eyes
Streams ran down your moon-lit cheeks
From a place, so pure

I useta run out of ev'ryday things to say
Only so much happened those days
You probably caught me staring at you?
and Spotting your blonde locks falling
From the rearview

(lead in)

... but...
You were
Tied to the idea
of Having that fitted suit
and Leaning by water coolers
and
I was
Tied to the idea
of Making you believe
Our love's got more to lose


Now I'm left..
with….

Chorus (mainly oo vowel rhyme)

a... Backseat that wears your perfume….
Lends me your scent, makes me think all about you
Fading trail of fairy tale nights
Call it deja vu,
I call it, losing you
When I should be lovin' you,
leavin' me with
a backseat that wears your perfume
leavin' me with
a backseat that wears your perfume
but...
that backseat won't grow out of your perfume


Verse 11

When you left I smashed in the cars's tail lights
Rubbed off tight gates scrapin' its side
yeah my Mind got the upper hand
I felt the strain
Felt myself breathing so deep,
thinkin' 'bout what happened b'tween us
And the shouldve's and could'ves
Pushed through each Gap in my brain


lead in

and I...
Wondered was there
Any part of you
That wanted
Any part of me
….Is there a part of you ?
….that Wants any part of me
cause all I have of you…




Chorus

a... Backseat that wears your perfume….
Lends me your scent, makes me think all about you
a Fading trail of fairy tale nights
Call it deja vu,
I call it, losing you
When I shoulda' been lovin' you,
leaving me with
a backseat that wears your perfume
but I know,
My backseat will never grow out of your perfume





bridge ideas



And if you ever decide to come back,
I'll plant a reserved sign,

on..



Chorus

my Backseat that wears your perfume….
Lends me your scent, makess me think all about you
a Fading trail of fairy tale nights
Call it deja vu,
I call it, losing you
When I shoulda' been lovin' you,
leaving me with
a backseat that wears your perfume
but I know,
My backseat will never grow out of your perfume



Chorus rpt






*Ends * Ends *Ends….(*ends) ENDS………….

sephsleft06

Thanks

Oink

Hey I like it! Not too sure about the part with the suit and watercooler, but other than that, not bad, not bad at all!!!!

sephsleft06

Oink wrote: »

Hey I like it! Not too sure about the part with the suit and watercooler, but other than that, not bad, not bad at all!!!!

hey thanks,
Yeah you're right - I swayed away from the Title....and it sounds more 'politically heated' debate....

thanks, Oink...for the feedback

guitarmagic

i love country, especially hank williams and the likes.. are you still around on boards?

sephsleft06

Yeah I check back here from time to time.
I kinda listen to mainly modern country, Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, anything really on the billboard chart. Some great songs