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Need to get over my ex

  • 27-05-2015 4:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Long story short; I want to be over my ex.

    We were together for about 15 months and broke up just over 10 months ago. We were long distance for most of that. I wanted to stay in the country I was but he wouldn't move because he didn't speak the language. So I decided to move home, that was fine but I couldn't work so ended up going to the UK as a compromise. However after I had everything sorted for my move he said he wasn't sure about coming.Now, he wasn't supposed to come for another year but he said he couldn't gaurentee he'd want to be in a relationship by then, that there'd be pressure to get engaged and what if we stayed together for a whole year of long distance and then it didn't work. Personally, none of that makes any sense to me but we pretty mutally decided to leave it.

    10 months on I'm still not over it. To add insult to injury I moved here for work and now can't find a new job to save my life, but I need to stay here at least another year to pay off some money I owe to my parents for the move (though I'd owe them a lot more if I chose to move home to be with him).I do have more good days than bad,but I still really miss him and worry about him. I still want to call him when I have any news. I also still hate him for not being able to try and make things work, or at least admit that he just wanted to break up and not act like he was being forced into it by my circumstances (because I blamed myself for a long time; "If I really loved him I would have...".

    I'm not a recluse. I have friends here, go on dates, keep busy. But every date I go on gets compared to him! I've had to unfollow all my old friends on fb 'cause seeing pictures of him upsets me so much it made me feel physically ill on several occasions.

    People say I should move on, but I decided to move on about 9 months and 3 weeks ago but I just still haven't figured out how to? I'm not grateful for the relationship. It was so wonderful while we were together but I would have never put myself through it had I known what the breakup would be like. Everybody I've spoken to says this is not normal. I'd really love to have another relationship but (even if I had met someone) I would be to scared to let anyone get close to me because I can't do another break up.


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