Feel im in the wrong career even after 8 years

LegacyUser

So im in my job just over 8 years now and although you might presume after that time I would be fully competent and confident in my role, this isnt the case. I picked my area (engineering and validation) simply because the money would be good and although I whizzed through my 1sy year in college, I found the next 3 very very tough and only barely passed my 4th year project. I just dont have an engineering or technical "brain" and have trouble seeing what other engineers can jot down in a second.

Not wanting to waste the 4 years, I applied for an got a job as a device engineer 8 yrs ago. I managed to "hide" my flaws for the first year by being very enthusiastic and following all SOPs from A to Z, offering no new ideas or innovation. As the years passed it became obvious that I was the weakest engineer and I excel more at writing the reports and checking in new equipment than being in the thick of developing new devices and validation machines, which is what i should be doing. And technically im still classed as an engineer and getting the pay for it. But any new training fills me with dread as I feel like an outcast amongst all the tech heads.

My boss well knows my limitations but thankfully allows me to do the work i am strong at but the crunch came last week when we had very important clients over to see us do a demo of our model and I was picked due to staff shortages, I made a complete balls of it. My face went red as I was trying to start up a machine in front of 3 staring CEOs and our department head. I was asked a basic validation question by one of them and I fluffed my lines and he was staring at me as if to say "How could someone here 8 years not know?". My boss had to step in to end the demo it was that bad, I was so upset all week and I know now Ill NEVER be allowed in front of important people again.

Thing is, at this stage, I dont even know is it a lack of confidence thing, that I have had so many bad experiences that I fail before I begin, or am i just not suited to this career. Thing is, the money is good, the people are v nice and I do like the perks but will my flaws eventually end my career. If in my shoes, would you look around for a career that matches your brain or should I just keep under the radar?

Jim2007

Notascientificmind wrote: »

If in my shoes, would you look around for a career that matches your brain or should I just keep under the radar?

You spend too much of your life at work to spend it trying to live under the radar! But what I'm unclear about is problems aside do you enjoy the work? If you enjoy the work then perhaps it is more a case of find a position where you fit in better and feel at home in....

If on the other hand, you hate the work then what are you passionate about? What do yo find interesting and exciting? What do you want to do with your life?

I don't think any of us can give you the answers.... all we can do is perhaps ask the question that will lead you to your own answers.

LegacyUser

I'd agree with the poster above, do you have any idea what you would like to do? Because if you have a well paid job, you should be able to educate yourself towards it part time, or even save enough to go back to college.

I'm similar enough to yourself. I've worked in IT since I was about 17, I'm now 32 and I swear I don't even understand some of the basic principles of networking, I just can't grasp technical stuff at all, I learned everything through repetition of tasks. I have pretty much bluffed my way through this career and it's been surprisingly easy as unless you're actually working for an IT company, nobody knows anything about IT. I was a bit sick of it in my last job and was thinking about how I could get out of IT, then I got offered a managers job which means less technical work thankfully and a lot more money. I still plan on getting out of IT some day but first i'm putting my wife through college so she can support me when the time comes!

For the record, I dont have a dream job, my dream is probably to not work. So finding out what I can move to will be tough, I only have a few ideas as to what I might like

Funsterdelux

Notascientificmind wrote: »

I excel more at writing the reports and checking in new equipment than being in the thick of developing new devices and validation machines, which is what I should be doing

There you go, if you aren't great at innovation then the report writing and checking new equip might be the way to go! You'd need to have a technical qualification for those type of roles (which you have) and you also have experience.

Have a look at the job market and see if anything matches up with your strengths, even in your present company.

I agree with Jim2007, don't spend your career under the radar!