Church Wedding (but not in a church)?

Bradt Pitt

I'm just wondering can it be done? Say, in a small room within the Church or something?

We're having a spiritualist ceremony in August and that's going ahead as planned.
However, I know it would make some of our family very happy to see us married in the eyes of the Catholic Church - something neither of us have a problem with.

So, is it possible to have a tiny wedding within the Church (bride and groom and witnesses?) in a small room, say?

Any advice would be appreciated

andreac

Bradt Pitt wrote: »

I'm just wondering can it be done? Say, in a small room within the Church or something?

We're having a spiritualist ceremony in August and that's going ahead as planned.
However, I know it would make some of our family very happy to see us married in the eyes of the Catholic Church - something neither of us have a problem with.

So, is it possible to have a tiny wedding within the Church (bride and groom and witnesses?) in a small room, say?

Any advice would be appreciated

Try some of the deconsecrated churches around the country. I know there is one up by the hotel in Carlingford, its the Heritage Centre but looks like a church.
Another one is in Wicklow but the hotel is very pricy. Brooklodge is the name of it and they have a little chapel on site.

You wont be allowed to have a non catholic wedding in a church, no matter what part it is in.

Milly33

It is, sure once as such ye are registered then ye can do it however ye like.. Just depends on the priest after that. If ye want to do the whole thing as in get the permission for yer local parish, do the course etc.. Or else what you could do is ask for a blessing in the church but this totally depends on the priest.

I was only asking the question the last day, as an aunt of mine said she had two relatives who went have had a civil wedding and then also went and had a church wedding. She though that they had to have the church wedding but me thinks it was more like ye that some people would be happier in a church..

andreac

Sorry i thought you meant have a non catholic wedding in a church, apologies.

Milly33

sorry and I was thinking church church haha sure they are all the same either way you could do it really there are so many options out there now it is great

tinkerbell

You can only get married "in the eyes of the Catholic Church" if you get married by a priest in a church in a proper ceremony. There is no other way about it, not getting married in some side room in a church, etc.

Milly33

Oh yes tinkerbell I think it is just what exactly the OP wants. Is it this they want a proper proper catholic ceremony or is it just a blessing of sorts that they want.. OP you will have to come back and let us know

Moonbeam

you can have a church wedding with out the mass and there is no communion etc.

Mrs OBumble

And you can have a "church wedding" in a side chapel, which in many cases is a small side room - you don't have to have it in the big main nave. However I would expect most priests to ask some sticky questions if you tell him that you've already had a spiritualist wedding that was where the paperwork was done. I'm thinking it's kinda hard to be Spiritualist and Catholic at the same time.

Gatica

That would be my opinion too... I can't see how you can have a legal wedding with one religious org followed by another legal wedding with another.
A blessing should be possible if it's something you'd consider. Otherwise, I don't see how/why a Catholic priest would allow a married couple to get married again in his church.

fits

I am too confused by this post to even give an answer.

emzolita

Have a ceremony in the Unitarian Church in Dublin. It has the appearance of an authentic church but I think you can use any type of ceremony (Humanist, religious etc)

tinkerbell

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

And you can have a "church wedding" in a side chapel, which in many cases is a small side room - you don't have to have it in the big main nave. However I would expect most priests to ask some sticky questions if you tell him that you've already had a spiritualist wedding that was where the paperwork was done. I'm thinking it's kinda hard to be Spiritualist and Catholic at the same time.

Not sure if that was directed at me but to clarify by side room I meant that you can't just use Catholic Church grounds to conduct a marriage ceremony by anybody other than a priest. You can of course get married in a small chapel off the side of the church or whatever but it's done by a priest, not a spiritualist. Sounds to me like OP wants to get married in a church but by a spiritualist. Not possible.

jlm29

I took it up the the op wanted to be married by a priest in a church building, (but not in the main part of the church)so that they will be "married in the eyes of the church", but won't need the legal bit done, coz it will be done already. OP, the only way to know is to ask in a church! As someone said, a small alter off the main church might be an option!

Mrs OBumble

tinkerbell wrote: »

Not sure if that was directed at me but to clarify by side room I meant that you can't just use Catholic Church grounds to conduct a marriage ceremony by anybody other than a priest. You can of course get married in a small chapel off the side of the church or whatever but it's done by a priest, not a spiritualist. Sounds to me like OP wants to get married in a church but by a spiritualist. Not possible.

The OP said

We're having a spiritualist ceremony in August and that's going ahead as planned.
....
So, is it possible to have a tiny wedding within the Church (bride and groom and witnesses?) in a small room, say?

I think their intent is pretty clear. Two ceremonies: the real one with the spiritualists which will make them married in their own eyes, and very quiet private one to make the mammies/grannies/whoever believe they're really married.

Quite possible, if you can find a priest who's willing to play along. Some will, some won't.

haveringchick

Reading this thread I sincerely hope that the Catholic Bishops now follow through with their suggestion that Catholic clergy withdraw completely from the civil compartment of the marriage cceremony and participate in the Sacrament of Matrimony only.
Hopefully it will mean they can weed out the "we're not Catholics but we want to use your building and Sacrament for our big day out" lot.

Tony Beetroot

You could use the sarchristy to get married.

Peregrinus

Gatica wrote: »

That would be my opinion too... I can't see how you can have a legal wedding with one religious org followed by another legal wedding with another.

A blessing should be possible if it's something you'd consider. Otherwise, I don't see how/why a Catholic priest would allow a married couple to get married again in his church.

You're right, he won't do this.

But what you can do in the Catholic church is have an existing non-Catholic marriage "convalidated" in the church, thus regularising your canonical status (which is what the OP's parents want). And a convalidation ceremony can look strikingly like a wedding ceremony. And, yes, it can be very low-key if you want it to be.

Whether they'd be willing to do this so that the OP can keep his parents happy, though, is another matter. They'd want the couple concerned to be "properly disposed", and the fact that they're choosing to celebrate their marriage in a Spiritualist ceremony would be a bit of a barrier. They can marry in a Catholic ceremony if they choose. If they choose not to, that says something about their beliefs about marriage and its significance and, given those belielfs, why would they want a Catholic convalidation?

So talk to a priest, find out what's possible.

Cork Lass

fits wrote: »

I am too confused by this post to even give an answer.

Thanks. I thought I was the only one.

pwurple

Slightly confused here too. Spiritualism and christianity are two separate faiths. I have seen all sorts of dual ceremonies taking place, like a jewish-catholic one, with parts of both ceremonies included at the same time, but not one after another.

I think you have three options...

Find a priest who will include your spiritulist pieces as well in a church.

Have your planned ceremony followed by a church blessing

Have your planned ceremony followed by the convalidation that peregrinus talks about.


All options will need a cooperative priest. Do you have a relationship built up with the local priests?

Bradt Pitt

Thanks for all the replies, very much appreciated.
Sorry if my question was a bit confusing, I typed it quickly as I had to rush off for the weekend.

Just to clarify, what I really meant was that we were hoping to get a blessing from the Church - not looking for a full ceremony.

And really it was just to keep some elderly relatives happy. Perhaps we need to rethink the whole thing. Certainly I didn't mean to offend anybody or belittle those who want a full Church wedding - If I did, then I apologise.

All the Best.

Milly33

Dear between all the ceremony options now tis hard not to upset everyone! I am sure no one took offence..

So a blessing is really it, I think it is really up to the priest then in this case, but if you know a nice one then you will have no problems. As mentioned my sister done it as they got married abroad, and when they came back home we all dressed up as we did on the wedding day and went to our local church and had the monk (love the monks) do a blessing with a small mass, and music and he was quite happy to do it, even came to the party after.

So it is really up to the priest, monk etc at the church.. Best of luck with it

Bradt Pitt

Thanks Milly!
That was really helpful, thanks a million