I deserved to win.

LegacyUser

I've decided to go anonymous for this post as it gives away a lot of personal information and its a also a very personal issue.

So I graduated from Transition Year tonight this is a big event in my school and every year a TY student of the year is given out. This is a huge deal and we don't give one out in any other year even in leaving cert like other schools do. The award is picked by the year heads and a small student vote.

All year I had really put a lot of effort into TY but had never thought I would ever get the award however a few weeks ago when we were doing the student vote a lot of people said they had voted for me which shocked me an awful lot. However the more I thought about and the more people who told me I deserved it I thought maybe I actually did. I had done everything offered to us in TY and helped organise a lot of events in the year and even planned nearly all the graduation with the year heads.

However last night when the award winner was called out I was completely shocked I had thought it was going to be me which I know I shouldn't have and usually I can get over this sort of stuff. However this time I just couldn't as this student hadn't done anything special in TY and hadn't really helped out in any way just went along and participate barely in the events offered. It seems that he was picked because got 10As and not because of Ty. A lot of people came up to me after the night and said I deserved to have gotten it. To make it even worse the year head came up to me and thanked me for my help for that night and all year completely ignoring the fact it was obvious I was upset about not winning the award. I know I shouldn't be so angry but I'm extremely upset over not winning and don't even feel like going out with the rest of the year tomorrow to a party as I am so upset. I've been in tears since I came home and haven't been able to talk to anyone about it as not one else although they think I should have won they don't see why I would be upset as we are off for the summer but I am. I know this post doesn't make any sense but I just need to get out my frustration somewhere and I would appreciate any advice in getting over this anger.

Robsweezie

you're angry now. It's still fresh. Your post is an emotional reaction to disappointment a few hours ago rather than a response. And we all do that. I'm sure in time, even tomorrow morning , you will get over this, and look at this as just an emotional rant. You obviously took the year very seriously and contributed a lot, many students do **** all in TY and get nothing out of it, so be proud. This is a minor setback in the grand scheme things, look at it as a character building lesson - you don't always win, or get what you want even when you expect to. Expectation and heartache as they say. You don't need an award for validation, you already did well and had the support of your fellow students. Fair play for throwing yourself into the organising of the graduation and the events.

sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow. try to enjoy yourself tomorrow night and enjoy the summer, before 5th year kicks in. try and put this behind you OP. I understand your frustration over losing to someone you deemed less worthy but its not worth the tears or the possible aggro from bad mouthing the winner ( not saying you will, just don't go there). You come across quite a passionate person and that explains the tears. Channel that same passion into other areas of interest to you and you will go very far in your life. Sometimes knockbacks like these, however small, make you stronger and give you a thicker skin. Dry the tears, go out and have fun. All the best OP.

orthsquel

It's not nice that your expectations get raised like that and to not win the award... but you have won a lot more than that. You have the recognition and respect of your peers of the hard work you have put in all year, from everything you have done including events you have organised. Your year head would see this too, and have recognised it in you, by expressing their gratitude to you.

You may not have won an award but all the effort you put in has been worth it and has been recognised by the most important people around you - your peers. I don't think they came over to tell you they voted for you or that you were deserving just to get your hopes up, but to let you know you had done a good job with what you have been doing. Your efforts set you up in being able to collaborate with others - particularly those in authoritative positions - to co-ordinate efforts, giving you a skill and an experience that is invaluable, particularly in the workplace. Organisation skills are very important, from being personally organised and organising yourself for study to be able to organise events, engaging with others, getting opinions/feedback, taking that on board, making decisions, working with others... that's all valuable experience you have gained from your efforts.

For all you know, in a staff meeting, your year head could have been backing you completely and it may not have been their call that the other student won.

Don't let this ruin the party for you, or prevent you from going. You did incredibly well, you achieved a lot, and no award can replace the respect and recognition from your fellow students. I think you need to see that what you experienced, your efforts, that you were so involved and gained so much is better than an award in itself, and the recognition from other students is a bonus on top of that. Don't let not getting a thing take all that away from you, or overshadow all the hard work you have done, because all that hard work gave you results; those results may not be tangible in the form of a thing, but experience and new skills you can apply, not to mention other important aspects such as communication skills, improved self esteem, confidence that you may have also gained a bit in during the process, all of which are really much more valuable than an award in a thing. Getting validation and recognition from your peers as well as all that, well, really you are the winner here.

Consider that a while, but do go to the party. You've earned it! Otherwise you will probably sit at home, feeling miserable and then maybe wishing you had gone afterall, and kicking yourself for not going.

silverfeather

Move on to the next thing fast. Don't look back. That would be my advice.

I am sorry you didn't win.

I am sorry you feel it was unjust. It has happened to all of us. But well done on your efforts anyway.

Do something nice to take your mind off it :-)

skallywag

I think you that will take a very valuable lesson from this OP, i.e. don't count your chickens & don't always believe in your own hype, some of the biggest disappointments in life come when a sure thing doesn't work out.

jon1981

+ See it as life lesson. When you enter the work force and start climbing the career ladder you will see how promotional decisions or recognition awards sometimes aren't fair, that's life.

Miaireland

We had awards for TY when I did it. The awards were not necessarily based on how many activities you organised or how things you took part it.

They looked at how you developed as a person and what skills etc you delevoped over the year.

HelgaWard

I hope you have woken feeling better about the whole thing. I can totally understand why you are upset, but at the end of the day; out of all of you in TY; there could only be one person who got the award. That doesn't mean the rest of you are all loosers, it sounds like your contributed a huge amount and did a fantastic job, be proud of yourself for this. It sounds like you have a great year, don't let your disappointment/reaction to not winning the award blacken your memory of it. I thought this quote might help you:

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
Robert Green Ingersoll

Also with regard to the guy who won, you never ever know what it going on in other people's lives behind closed doors, this person might be dealing with a very difficult situation in his personal life which is why the teachers voted for him to get the award. You should go to the party, celebrate the end of a fantastic year and congratulate the guy who won. Fair play to him!

Eh. What's the point in graduating from transition year? I mean, surely it means nothing as you just move on to Leaving Cert. When I was in school they were still just bringing it in and it wasn't compulsory, so I didn't do it.

Anyway, OP, it sucks that you didn't win, but the truth is that nothing was certain. You had it built up in your head that you would. Take a deep breath. Awards mean little. What matters is that other people see and recognise this.

Penny Tration

Maybe the school staff placed more value on the academic? the person clearly worked their backside off to get ten As. Maybe they place higher value on that.

LegacyUser

Of course its so disappointing to not receive an award that you expected and appear to have deserved. I think long term its more important to remember the amount of people who expected you to win and thought you deserved it, so much so that they went out of their way to express their surprise when you didnt get it.
When I was in school, award winners were picked by teachers and no one, other than the winners cared who won - in fact, depending on the award, winning might be, for want of a better phrase 'socially detrimental'.
your class are obviously *a lot* more mature than this, and recognise your contribution and strengths, and more importantly, respect you a lot. In my opinion, thats worth a lot more, and I hope you can see that in time.

castaway_lady

From the point of view of a teacher albeit not in the secondary sector, Ive heard these conversations going on in the staffroom in recent weeks as decisions were made on this kind of things and all sorts goes into it not all as straight forward as the student would think it should be. It can depend on what they saw as personal development in a person over involvement or academics or maybe something as simple as did that student get any other awards, did they show a particular kind of maturity in a situation. The bottom line is, in the big scheme of things it means sweet feck all, just the decision of someone to give a cert that only the school recognises.

For you theres life lessons and look at what you gained from the last year purely for your own development that you can take forward and use to your advantage. Think of it this way....on the day of the leaving cert results will a ty cert count for anything?? Not even 1 point!! Move on....enjoy your summer

Chris Martin

anajduhebsifh wrote: »

So I graduated from Transition Year tonight this is a big event in my school and every year a TY student of the year is given out. This is a huge deal and we don't give one out in any other year even in leaving cert like other schools do. The award is picked by the year heads and a small student vote.

I did TY.
Got an award in Young Scientist, our YSI class won their category in national competition. Crowning jewel though was Mini Company.
CEO of the Mini Company that took class to nationals in Tullamore.
Our product was a book we made ourself teaching basics aimed at the elderly as it tied in with our YSI.
Put an awful lot of graft into the book. Ridiculous hours and was the only one working on getting it printed. Eventually got it printed, much harder than it should've been, something wrong with dimensions, and second version of book sold like lightening.

Come end of year awards, customarily there are 3 main awards. This year they decided to make a 4th.
Now the teachers chose awards every year, which I think is the right way to do it as with students it's just a popularity contest.

Anyway, they start talking through awards; person of the year, best x, best y and special merit award. Three trophies for main 3 and an envelope for the special merit. Strange I thought, but really I knew straight away, I'm getting that one. I'm getting the one the spot award if I'm getting anything at all..

As it worked out, I was right, I got the Special Merit with 30e in an envelope :P
I'm not being ungrateful but it looked and felt like at the time everyone throwing a few bob in a card for someone who's unwell. :P
Looking back on it, I didn't deserve to get the person of the year, but with the title CEO comes the mentality of 'I RULE THIS YEAR.'
My case is similar to yours in this way though. There was one or two people who, if they got main award, I wouldn't have cared. But the person who did get it didn't deserve it. She was equal on achievements really with me except she CEO'd the company until Xmas, where we won nothing, and I did it after Xmas, when we won regionals. But, she's the trophy child of our year. She does all the charity and is in paper every second week for something. She was clever but not cleverest but her parents were on board of PTA. She seemed to win main awards all around the place.
The two other side awards were specific awards but I think one of them deserved to win the main one. We both worked together in mini company as CEO and worked hard to get stuff done.

I'm dragging on now though so I'll try and wrap up fast.
I got an awful lot out of the year though.
I had an absolute ball throughout the year.
I really came out of my shell, I was extremely shy beforehand, I really opened up going into 5th year.
Made new friends and got closer with others.
Stayed in Dublin (3 nights) and Tullamore overnight.
Have endless stories from it.

You put in what you get out.
That's what they said from the start.
I remember staying nights after school painting toys for Xmas regionals in Art room which ended up in a Custard Cream fight and mopping up cheap Aldi Cola. :P
We'd have to finish up an hour early and call friends to come in, just to clean up.. :P
I had an absolutely fantastic year and although I do believe a 3 year leaving certificate would be more beneficial when taking Leaving Cert and going to college, sacrificing TY seems like such a sin.
It's not about dossing for a year, but developing as a person.

I'm quite passionate about TY (hence length of post) and if there's one thing I'll say about it, it's don't regret taking it.
If you put in as much work as you've said you have, then you will reap the rewards, you just may not know it yet.

At the end of the day, all it can be used for is to put on CV to fill up a line until you think of something better to replace it.
Believe it or not, POTY for TY isn't at top of most employers desired skill set list. :P

Remember doing awful in JC, was proper let down, gutted, debating going bowling with friends after. Eventually dragged myself down there, got over excited when I saw the lanes, forgot all about the results ran to get a ball, struck my leg on a counter, got an abscess in my leg a few months later. Agony. Missed a week of TY...
Don't party too hard. Side effect of trying to drown your sorrow with Fanta, the sugar rush that ensues. :P

Go out to the party and have a laugh with your friends.
You'll forget about it in no time

5rtytry56

Did you go OP?:o

Stavro Mueller

OP hope you're feeling better now. From my memories of school, a lot of the prizes given out should've come with a health warning. It's nice to get a prize and recognition but in the coming years you will come to see how meaningless it all was. You might even come to be glad that you didn't get the prize.

Don't let this setback stop you from doing what you do. You said " I had done everything offered to us in TY and helped organise a lot of events in the year and even planned nearly all the graduation with the year heads"
Don't underestimate anything from the sentence I've just bolded. If I was a potential employer, someone who did the things you've just outlined would be the sort of person I'd want to give a job to. You were enthusiastic and willing to try things. You helping to organise a lot of the events sounds like you are someone who's proactive, prepared to accept responsibility and make things happen. Finally, that you planned so much of the graduation with the year heads shows that you're able to work alongside other people. All those things are really good attributes to have, not just in college but in your future career. They're the sort of traits that could get you promoted in the future.

Most of us who are now working will have experienced versions of what you went through. Not getting jobs or promotions we felt we should've. Looking at colleagues who don't seem to be as wonderful as us getting the things we wanted... All you can do is dust yourself down and try again.

Heat_Wave

Hi OP

Unfortunately this type of carry on happens in adult life too.

I recently left a job because a promotion was given to a colleague of mine who did sweet FA except lick the managers a*s. I was an obvious candidate and everyone was shocked that I didn't get the promotion but it has been two weeks now and I feel so much better, as will you.

Chin up, life is full of incomprehensible outcomes.

Stavro Mueller

When I was in school, the same girl won Student of the Year two years running. How that happened I've absolutely no idea but it shouldn't have been allowed. As an adult I can see that even more clearly than I did when I was at school. I'm sure she was an exemplary student but I find it hard to believe that in that second year, there was not even one other person who was deserving of it.

5rtytry56

I know we're now in the 21st Century but when some self anointed so called star pupils have rich mom and dad there are still lots of strings available to pull.

Stavro Mueller

5rtytry56 wrote: »

I know we're now in the 21st Century but when some self anointed so called star pupils have rich mom and dad there are still lots of strings available to pull.

Thing is, she didn't as far as I can remember. She was from an ordinary family, neither parent was on the board of management or anything like that. I remember her as being a good student with a pleasant manner and no airs or graces. Enough to merit getting the gong one year for sure. Twice though? That was sending out all the wrong signals to the rest of the school.

Anyway OP, I hope you're feeling better now and can see that setbacks and unfair decisions aren't confined to your school. They happen everywhere and in all walks of life. Don't forget that many of your classmates think you should've gotten recognition for what you did. Don't let the disappointment of this define you. I hope you dusted yourself down and went to the party. You should be remembered for the good work you did thoughout the year, not for refusing to come out for the party because you were smarting.

beks101

I also agree that this is a great life lesson for you.

However, in this case I think you need to learn not to expect, or indeed ever to do things, with the anticipation of reward or some sort of pat on the back at the end of it. Life will let you down repeatedly if you set yourself up to rely on that kind of external validation.

You excelled yourself as a student this year. You got involved, you engaged on every level, you pushed yourself, you learned new skills, you grew socially and did yourself proud. You don't need some tacky 'student of the year' award that you'll barely remember in ten years to reaffirm those things.

This is just how life works sometimes. I'm 30 and I'm still dealing with it. I slog away for 12 hours in a stuffy office and stretch myself beyond human capacity, and someone comes along and takes the credit. I've learned to become more visible, speak more loudly, email the right people, make sure to introduce myself to the right people and talk, talk, talk about a project I'm working on - it helps for sure - but there's always someone at the end of the line who will speak louder, or be more shrewd, or have the right friends.

And what of it? I'm not one to get lost in the crowd, but when it comes to factors outside of you - i.e other people's reactions to you and your work - you really have to choose you battles.

Choose to do things for your own self-improvement, your own passion and your own personal sense of fulfillment. Listen to your gut, rather than some guy who's handing out dumb rewards in what is usually a pre-determined popularity contest. Hold your head high always, regardless.

Another lesson you will learn is when to walk away because you're not getting what you need from a company, a job, a person, a situation. I'll come back in ten years for that sermon

You're young, and right now this probably seems like the biggest problem, the biggest injustice in the world. It's not. You'll have forgotten that other kid's name in ten year's time and have forgotten the whole thing in fifteen. You'll bust your balls again and "miss out" again, if you've always got your eye on the prize.

Think about the bigger picture. How has this year changed you as a person? Has it made you proud of yourself?

Heat_Wave

Great post above.

And also OP, one quick little word of advice before I go to bed ! As Beks said above, in ten years time, you actually will struggle to even remember this girls name. It's funny because I'm only 24, I left school six years ago, and last week I found myself struggling to recall certain people's names in my year!

Although six years is a short length of time, it feels like a lifetime ago.

I had a horrible time in school. I came home crying most days and I isolated myself from classmates as I always felt they were too immature/too nasty to one another and I just felt like being by myself most of the time. I do not advise you do this, but my point is, at the time it feels like the worst feeling in the world but trust me, when you leave school you will laugh at how much this has angered you

To echo what Beks said - everything you do should be for yourself and no one else. You do not need a silly award to validate your achievements. Fair play to you and keep up the good work!

Est28

OP, Undoubtedly it feels bad when anything doesn't go your way in life. But then again, thats' life and you'll learn it as you get older.
Life's not always fair.

In the greater scheme of things, I have no idea what the whole award thing is about. I didn't even do "TY" and it hasn't impacted my life, actually it was a big help for me. I mean, in school they blow these things into a huge deal like "If you get a report card sent home it'll ruin your life" when in reality, past school, will a future employeer ever care? Nope, not a bit. In time this won't see like a big deal.

But I'm assuming this is some sort of popularity contest? Most things are in school. I remember being in school, it was the douchiest guys got picked first for everything, they had their buddies on their side and it was easier for everyone else to just go along with it. But in the end, who cares really, didn't change my life in any way.

I mean, it's just a good life lesson. Wait until you go out working. You'll work hard and see the guy who slacks off get promoted first, things like that. The person who got picked was probably more visible to the teachers than you. The real world is like that, the guy shouting loudest in office meetings might actually be doing the least, but your boss sees him as a real "go getter". Its not fair but you learn to work it in your favor.