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When did you strengthen up

  • 20-05-2015 7:28pm
    #1
    kerry4sam
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,127 ✭✭✭✭


    Now, since my Late Loving Dad passed away I've only gone to funeral homes but never attended a burial until today.
    The Father of a friend of our family passed away and the burial was today. I went to the church-service and the burial (which happened to be in the same graveyard as my own Dad).

    The service was actually tough. Tough to the point where tears came down my face a few times. My mind went back to my own Dads' funeral Mass ; even to reminiscing about varying times Dad & I had such a laugh.

    My brother was alongside me but he looked just fine. Even hearing him speak afterward, he was fine. I almost left the Church I was finding the service so tough.

    Just wondering where & how people get so hardened and strong to be able to attend so many burials?
    Is is just down to:
    ~ Someone in our age-group had their Father taken from them. Although their Father had suffered a long illness, they had just lost their own Dad, their own beacon of strength
    &
    ~ It was the first funeral service & burial I had attended since my own Dads?

    I dunno, Just Curious,
    Many Thanks,
    kerry4sam


Comments

  • #2
    Redser87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 610 ✭✭✭Redser87


    You never know, he could have internalised it and it might only be hitting him now. Or something else might trigger feelings of loss for him. For you it was a place and an event, for him it could be a smell or a song. I'd be like you, I am hugely affected by places and I have often felt a greater sense of loss revisiting a place linked with the person than things like anniversaries.
    I don't have an actual answer to your question, sorry. I think it's lovely though that even in a very sad and difficult setting you could still remember the happy times. I hope they will be a source of strength for you.
    So very sorry for your loss.


  • #3
    Diane Selwyn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 257 ✭✭Diane Selwyn


    I certainly found the first funeral service I attended after my brother's very hard going even though I didn't personally know the deceased (the spouse of a work colleague of mine). It was just after my brother's anniversary so that still had me out of sorts, and I also remember being struck by the fact that the deceased was the same age as my brother was when he died. I did spend a lot of that service thinking about my brother. More recently I went to the funeral of a friend's father and I think I dwelt less on my own loss and more on my friend's that time. I wouldn't say it's down to being 'hardened up' though as its never an easy thing but maybe it's more to do with wanting to be there to support the bereaved family and friends.


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