Unkind opinions

lolly28

As I'm sure is the same with most people, weddings are stressful but how do you ignore the comments and unkind opinions AFTER you have choosen/booked/finalised something?
I know weddings bring out the worst in people but omg what ever happened to if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.

Very frustrating!

Liam McPoyle

Just don't tell people fook all about it.

Once Ye are happy then who gives a damn if someone has a negative opinion.

Faith

Are these comments coming from close family members and friends, or distant people like colleagues and relatives you wouldn't invite if you had a choice in the matter?

As long as you're happy, that's really all that matters. But use this as a learning opportunity, and limit the information you give people from now on. Unless they need to know, don't tell them if you think they'll be unkind.

lolly28

Thanks. It's close family. In particular my older brother and his fiancée.

I no I should ignore but it is extremely difficult!

ABajaninCork

lolly28 wrote: »

Thanks. It's close family. In particular my older brother and his fiancée.

I no I should ignore but it is extremely difficult!

WHOOMP! There it is...

They're jealous. Pure and simple. Tell them to STFU and enjoy your planning.

Red Kev

No matter what you do there will always be someone with negative comments, usually close family. IMO it says a lot more about them than you. I've the same people in my family, I just ignore them or call them out on it in public. Sounds 100% like jealousy (unless it's constructive criticism which it doesn't sound like here).

Milly33

Oh sorry to hear Lolly28.. Pesky relatives... It is dis-hearting alright most defiantly and I have to say too I think it effects you more than you know even when you are trying not to let it get to you..

Some people just don't know what subtle is, or how to say things maybe like funnily or not so harshly so it doesn't go down the wrong way..

Just as all have said try and ignore them as much as possible and if it gets very annoying, haha you should pointing out all stressfull things to come for your brother fiancé give them a taste of their own medicine in the nicest way possible..

Everyone is going to have their own opinions of what they think you should do or shouldn't do but once ye are happy that's all that matters

LynnGrace

As previous posters have said, try to tell them as little as possible.
If possible be ready with a reply such as, 'great idea, you should do that when organising your own wedding', and just leave it at that.

stargazer 68

Have to say OP I have had a few as well. OH and I have both been married before so its all 'why would you do it again' 'waste of money when you did it all before' etc. It wears a bit thin after a while!

lolly28

Thanks everyone.

My OH thinks it's all jealously. I never got the impression my brothers fiancée ever liked me in the first place.

I take things to heart too, but going to try my best to rise above it!

Milly33

Shame on them tut tut.. Well chin up and just try and think happy thoughts and remind them that it is all ahead of them

eviltwin

Rising above it is all you can do but you should say something. I think we have too much of a tendency to let things go and we say nothing. Its fine if its an isolated comment but if its regular thing I think you are well within your rights to have a word with them and tell them you find their attitude quite upsetting. They don't have to like your choices but what good is telling you after you've booked them? What do they think/expect you to do? The planning of your wedding should be a really exciting and fun time, if someone is bringing you down have a word.

Neyite

Saccharine sweet reply "well, when you guys have YOUR wedding, you'll be able to do it YOUR way, wont you?"

tinkerbell

Tbh if a sibling were criticising all my wedding choices I would be calling them up on it. I would not just put up with that crap. I would say "I'm sick of hearing these negative opinions towards my venue / flowers / band / photographer, blah blah blah. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut as when the time comes for your wedding, I'm sure you won't appreciate it if I tell you how crap your choices are".

pooch90

We had similar with my OH's stupid brother, who was the best man.
The stress of listening to him pi$$ and moan about everything led to me just bawling my eyes out the week before the wedding. I never said anything before the wedding. So he was an ass to everyone at the wedding. I wish I blew at him months before, I would highly recommend this!

Mrs OBumble

Bitches will be bitches. (And yes, sometimes it's males who do it!)

If you think it's bad now, imagine what they're going to say if you have kids ...

Nip it in the bud now: a very firm but polite "Thanks for sharing your opinion, but we're doing it our way." is necessary sometimes, and the sooner you do it, the more they'll respect you.