Does this make me a sly person? I feel really bad

Casualcontrol1

I recently had my second date with a guy I met off tinder, we live near each other and know a lot of the same people and he told his mates he was seeing me but I didn't tell mine. The reason I didn't is because I don't trust them. They are the jealous type and from past experience they love to know every detail and then make fun of the person or me in front of them. I just prefer to keep my business to myself and also have a weird thing of "jinxing" something if I speak too soon.
I did however tell my best mate this evening that we had met up and he just went on about how sly I was for not saying anything. I asked him not to tell anyone but all he said was its no big deal anyway. Now I feel bad for not telling him and feel like a weirdo for not saying something and also afraid he's going to tell one of our friends who has a habit of trying it on with girls boyfriends and even split up a marriage before. I don't want to fall out with my friend but feel bad in myself for being "sly". Just looking for opinions and advice thanks

MissFlitworth

No, no one's got an entitlement to know that you're going on dates and you should tell people when you want to. It's not like you've been in a 2 year relationship and moved in together and told no one, you've been on 2 dates. None of anyone's business unless you want it to be

blatantrereg

No not sly.
Your friend's comment just sounds like banter really; doubt it was intended as criticism at all.

Casualcontrol1

blatantrereg wrote: »

No not sly.
Your friend's comment just sounds like banter really; doubt it was intended as criticism at all.

It wasn't banter he said it repeatedly. And it was only Friday he was talking about another friend that was seeing someone on tinder and didn't tell me and how sly she was too

blatantrereg

Casualcontrol1 wrote: »

It wasn't banter he said it repeatedly. And it was only Friday he was talking about another friend that was seeing someone on tinder and didn't tell me and how sly she was too

Well then he was bullying you. You are still not sly. I would have no patience for that sort of thing personally.

Stavro Mueller

What age are you OP? Because it sounds odd that your friends feel they need to know your private business. I also wonder why most (if not all) of them are your friends because they don't sound like nice people. It's certainly not an adult way of going about your business. You're certainly not being sly in my opinion.

It has never bothered me if my friends didn't tell me on Day 1 that they were seeing someone. Likewise with my own siblings. I'm the very same. My family and friends don't know about all of my exes either. Most grown adults take their time before they let anyone know if they're seeing someone. Why wouldn't you if you think about it? If you meet someone once or twice and it doesn't work out, why would you want to have to start explaining why you're not seeing X any more?

Saralee4

I'm getting a picture of a coven of witches who are obsessed and jealous and want to know every detail of your private life especially if it involves a man!

I remember I had a 'friend' in work. She was so nosey about everything. If I chose to disclose something personal she would nit pick at little things I said and pry and make issues that didn't exist. I remember I had a meeting with one of my managers and she must have passed by the room while the meeting was taking place. The minute she seen me, she collared me asking 'what the meeting was about? what was said?' a lot of questions. I told her it was a standard meeting and basically nothing was said but she wouldn't let it go. she also got jealous if I was talking or went for a quick break with another co-worker, weird right? anyway it got too much and I found this behaviour very irritating hence why I distanced myself from her. Nothing else seemed to work with her. If I didn't answer her questions, shed just be more interested and keep asking to a point where it would get awkward.

If your friends are like that and you are in fear that one of them will come on to your new guy and make you feel like that why are you friends with them?

You should be enjoying your dates with the guy and not worrying what you pals will say. Its your choice if you want to tell them something or not. It sounds anyway that these friends are mainly just people you go out with socially but you are not really that close to.

DaisyDLady

Tell ur friend to get a life of his own, he wont have time to keep his nose in urs then.

aaakev

Nothing sly, it's your business not anyone else's! From the sounds of it you should get a new group of friends tbh

bee06

aaakev wrote: »

Nothing sly, it's your business not anyone else's! From the sounds of it you should get a new group of friends tbh

This! Your friends sound very childish to be honest.

athtrasna

Don't feel bad. It's your business. You don't need approval or permission from your so called friends. Be strong OP

silverfeather

No not at all.

I think it's really weird they would make a fuss out of it. I have no issue keeping stuff private. It's different when you know this person is now a part of your life etc and you want them to meet your friends. But no i have no issues keeping MY business private. It's your business.

Casualcontrol1

Thank you all for your replies