Trust

Shandashey

Do you trust many people? What makes you trust someone, and what sets you against someone?

Dan Chipowski

Candy Walls.

You first OP.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Trust nobody.

Cold War Kid

Wouldn't like to be all suspicious of people. My friends and family are all very trustworthy. I have encountered people all right though whom you couldn't trust with state secrets.

You definitely need to get to know people before you can trust them, rather than just kinda knowing them (alcohol effects can be the problem here...)

zeffabelli

I think it can breed more mistrust.

I know two people who I would call paranoid and they do things as a result of the parnoia that make them untrustworthy.

It's like if you are suspicious and you feel you have the right to invade someone's privacy or stalk them, you then become the person who cannot be trusted.

Or if you throw out accusations, then you also cannot be trusted or confided in.

Banjo String

Cameron Poe sums it up well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaPeZk8Isxs

harry Bailey esq

I'm usually a bit cagey with folks I'm not familiar with,and some folks that I am.Where I grew up had,and still has the highest recorded crime rate in the country.Its instinctive of me to immediately suss people and situations I come across out,and think on my feet,not everything is black and white.My wits have served me well thus far.

conorhal

Trust is earned. What makes me trust people? When people generally prove themselves trustworthy.

nathang20

I trust my Mam, more than anyone!

biko

I don't even trust myself.

Penny Tration

I trust one of my sisters, and my boyfriend. That's it.

Shandashey

Deleted User wrote: »

You first OP.

I don't like people who are wishy washy, who slag off others, then be nice to people they've slagged off

DareGod

You've no business trusting anyone until you've been close friends for a long while and they've expressly made it clear that you can trust them.

If you trust someone and they let you down, you've no right to blame them, you've only yourself to blame. They don't owe you anything and never did. You made the choice to trust them.

People need to stop relying on other people so much. Nobody else owes you anything, so never expect anything.

DareGod

DareGod wrote: »

You've no business trusting anyone until you've been close friends for a long while and they've expressly made it clear that you can trust them.

If you trust someone and they let you down, you've no right to blame them, you've only yourself to blame. They don't owe you anything and never did. You made the choice to trust them.

People need to stop relying on other people so much. Nobody else owes you anything, so never expect anything.

All that sounds very lonely.

I trust to varying degrees, it's an earned thing rather than a given. You can get a good sense of people and who they are at their core, but everyone has the potential to let you down.

Its just a facet of what it is to be human, nobody is perfect.

DareGod

Candie wrote: »

All that sounds very lonely.

It's honestly not. I don't rely on other people much, because it's not fair to put that pressure on another person. Nobody owes us anything. Trustworthy connections can certainly be created, but over a long period of time, and it's worth waiting for in the end. But in my experience, people tend to blame other people for "letting them down," when the truth is that the person who "let them down" is only human and never owed them anything in the first place.

I think people need to take more responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others for "letting them down." They gave that person the power to let them down in the first place. It was their choice to give that person that power. People need to learn to stand on their own two feet, stop relying on other people as much, stop giving other people the power to let them down as much, and accept that trustworthy relationships take a long time to form.

One eyed Jack

I never bothered with this "trust nobody" kind of thing. I do the complete opposite, not even consciously or anything, I just do, because I prefer to see the good in people.

I find it works out an awful lot more times for the better than the odd one or two people that will fcuk you over. They'll always be outnumbered by those people that have no interest in fcuking people over.

DareGod

DareGod wrote: »

It's honestly not. I don't rely on other people, because it's not fair to put that pressure on another person. Nobody owes us anything. Trustworthy connections can certainly be created, but over a long period of time, and it's worth waiting for in the end. But in my experience, people tend to blame other people for "letting them down," when the truth is that person is only human and never owed them anything in the first place.

I think people need to take more responsibility for their own actions instead of blaming others for "letting them down." They gave that person the power to let them down in the first place. It was their choice to give that person that power. People need to learn to stand on their own two feet, stop relying on other people as much, stop giving other people the power to let them down as much, and accept that trustworthy relationship take a long time to form.

Being vulnerable is also part of the human condition, and all relationships involve risk. You fall in love, you risk heartbreak. You form a friendship and you risk losing a friend. The point is that its in the nature of most humans to seek other people to form bonds with, bonds of love, sex, friendship. It's a rare friend who finds the pressure of trust too much, if a friend is what they really are. Our intertwining connections give our lives colour and texture, and while it'd be nice to never be let down or to feel another person has power to disappoint us, the benefits outweigh the risks. Even if it does end badly, we learn and move forward - mostly.

Standing on your own two feet is important, I agree. Being open to others and all they can bring to your life is important too, and I say that as an introverted person who is very happy in the stillness of my own company. I'm slow to trust, probably too quick to love, and definitely to slow to heal, but I hope I'll always have my heart open to the possibilities of all the good things other people can bring.

I'd say guard your trust jealously, but when it's earned then give it generously.

YurOK2

I trust my husband and my sister, that's all.
I don't have many friends, in fact I would say I have acquaintances rather than friends. I had 3 good friends turn on me about 10 years ago and since then I have been very untrusting.
I've been in my current job for 4 years, working with the same people for 3 of those years and I don't trust them with any personal information (and some work related information) because they have proven themselves untrustworthy.
I've had too many people come and go in my life and take with them private information and that has made me quite closed.

the evasion_kid

Sometimes you learn the hard way....but you do learn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu4EWKia6qY

blatantrereg

I'm inclined to have an unfortunate combination of naivete and paranoia.

bnt

If someone says "trust me", that's a red flag straight away. If you have to tell me to trust you, that's a sign that you're not going to earn trust the usual way.

DoYouEvenLift

Lau2976

I've become very untrusting because of certain events in my life. I grew up very sheltered though and didn't experience people all that much until I was quite a bit older.

I trust my family and a handful of friends. I find it much harder to trust boyfriends, even ones I trusted fully before, and I find it difficult to trust women who wear high heels everyday. I don't know why or anything, I just think it's weird.

Sunnyisland

Ace was a gunslinger ,he was the best and his motto that kept him alive was , don't trust anyone, no one, As the years went by Ace took in a kid and reared him like his own son teaching him all the tricks of his trade and the motto don't trust anybody,this son he said is how you stay alive,one day as the two men were in the kitchen a row broke out of something trival, Ace went to steam out the door and just as he got there his adopted kid shot him six times in the back.

True story told on down the years.

Sunnyisland

Ha ha ha ha ha

Its all down to communication. I trust the people I communicate well with - and the more we commune the more I trust. It is not an either or thing with me. communication and trust are the same thing for me in many ways.