Public Speaking_Social Phobia_Meet-ups for free friendly classes

grangegorman

Hi All,

I am very interested in meeting-up and sharing my situation with other people in a friendly and non judgemental way. I posted this below thread to another forum yesterday so maybe you could read and let me know if you or somebody you know might be interested in trying to help each other!!! (I would like to set something up (maybe with the help of some of you) that would be similar to toastmasters except it is only for people with a fear for public speaking/social phobia and no membership or costs will apply.

I have anxiety and essential tremor which affects my voice and gives me a tremor in my hands. Previously, I have tried councelling, hypno-therapy and beta-blocker medication which have not helped me overcome this condition. By now, I have spent thousands of euros trying to treat the condition but I really think the only solution is to practice and with time it will lessen the anxiety.

To give you an indication of how my condition can affect my week and maybe some of you are in a similar situation: In work there are staff meetings every two weeks in which I have to update the CEO along with 25 other work colleagues. These meetings cause me to lose sleep over the weekend knowing I have them on a Monday morning and completley absorb my mind when I should be enjoying my time off. I also have to attend adhoc meetings which completley unsettle me and send me into panic mode and looking for any excuse not to attend. This has put me in such a vulnerable position as I really want to quit the job because of these meetings and other reporting duties I have. I do really enjoy my work and my colleagues are genuinely supportive but I can't go around telling everyone about my situation/condition.

In college I skipped every presentation and even when I'm asked to introduce myself in groups as small as 4 people my voice starts to tremor. I have tried to skip as many situations as possible due to these panic attacks and embarrassing situations. Once I had an interview with Central Bank and the feed back I got was that I had "behavioural issues" because I got so choked up with fear. (there were 3 people on the interview panel).

I'm not a shy person and most of my friends would never expect that I suffer from any anxiety. I have been looking into joining toastmasters or some other group that I can gradually improve speaking in front of people. I would love to find a few people that are in a similar situation and maybe help each other with improving our speaking skills and then maybe progressing to toast masters or whatever people my suggest. (If this is something anyone is interested in please respond to this thread or private message me). I believe this could be the start of a new adventure and hope that some people would take that step to help me and themselves.

I work at the new DIT college campus at Grangegorman D7 and could organise a room for holding small group meetings in the evening. Completley free of charge with tea/coffee/parking.

By the way, I'm a 34yrs old male working as an Engineer and in a relationship (not that that matters but just to be transparent and open). I'm purely interested in helping myself and others with a fear of public speaking or social phobia.

I am open to meet up with anyone to discuss/chat/help in anyway or at any location. If someone suggest that they would prefer to meet-up one-on-one at their preferred location just for a coffee I'm happy to do that also...

Hope to hear from some of you and thanks for taking the time to read this message!

Thanks,
James

tupenny

This sounds like a great idea. I'm normally a lurker but had to join to reply!
You have 100% described my sysmtoms and I am so sick of it holding me back in life- through secondary school, college and now, work.
It would be brilliant if we could get a group going...

grangegorman

Excellent Tupenny,

Thanks for registering/replying and not just reading over thinking it wouldn't be of any help.

I will send you my details in a private message and hopefully we can discuss further. We also have one other person who is interested and has the same symthons as us. I'm looking forward to discussing already and hopefully a few more people will be interested in meeting-up.

Thanks again for replying,
James

mcratsix

Hey, I know I'm a bit late to the game but I'm very interested in this. Very similar symptoms, except for me it's much much worse with public reading. Make me read a page in front of people and I literally cannot do it, I start sweating, gasping etc etc. speaking in front of people, I can barely manage either. Also, and this is probably normal, the more formal the situation the worse it is. For example, I was asked to make a speech at my graduation and had to say no because I would have imploded with anxiety. My mother trying to encourage me into it only made me feel worse, even though I know she meant well.
I know this one is absolutely ridiculous, but anyway... Last year I'd to get an eye test as part of my driving licence. The tester was a nice woman, but when she made me read a page from a book at arms length to test my sight I couldn't do it. I had to stop and try and explain my nerves.
I'm starting college this year and I really want to be able to do half decent presentations. In general I'm fairly confident, a bit socially awkward at work and stuff but nothing too bad.
I love the idea of meeting with other people to try and overcome the phobia.

grangegorman

Hi Macratsix,

Thanks for your message and glad you got in contact.

Your symthoms are the same as mine and certainly one other person I am in contact with from this thread. We can certainly meet up and try and see if we can help each other in a friendly and non-judgemental environment. I will send you a private message with my number to arrange a chat and possibly a meeting.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards,
James

MsGiggles

Hello,

I have to say that this particular thread really made me smile this morning. I think it emcompasses the ethos of the Boards environment entirely.

I would really love to partake in something like this but alas I am too far away. I would really like to wish you all well and if you ever need anything from Waterford, I can help !

Well done Grangegorman on setting this up

Sheeeeit

A lot of those symptoms describe me a to a tee but I think my anxiety may not have been as extreme. I have similar meetings where I have to present to colleagues and used to spend the night before worrying so much about them when I shouldn't even be thinking about it. I also tend to blush quite easily so when I feel my face go red it just makes things worse.

What I've found lately though is as I've gained more experience in my job, know my colleagues better and have plenty of experience presenting at meetings, I've become a lot less anxious and it doesn't bother me as much any more. I definitely don't blush as much as I used to. I may have to present at a conference soon and I'll definitely be nervous as hell but I'm definitely willing to do it so there has been a huge change in me.

I think you're idea is a great one, practice makes perfect, the more you expose yourself to public speaking the easier it will get for you in my opinion.

nini

Hi all,

I'm wondering if you have met up? I'm a 33 year old living in Dublin and have exactly the same problem. I have started a new job and am so happy in the work but the idea of presenting and speaking in front of groups is enough to send me into overdrive and want to run for the hills. I would be really grateful if you would let me know some more about the group?

Sorry I've posted in several threads now! I don't know which one is active!

mcratsix

nini wrote: »

Hi all,

I'm wondering if you have met up? I'm a 33 year old living in Dublin and have exactly the same problem. I have started a new job and am so happy in the work but the idea of presenting and speaking in front of groups is enough to send me into overdrive and want to run for the hills. I would be really grateful if you would let me know some more about the group?

Sorry I've posted in several threads now! I don't know which one is active!

There hasn't been a meet up yet I don't think. It's difficult to get a time that suits everyone. However, I do plan on meeting up when I've the chance.
Come September I'll be looking to set up regular meetings in Dublin.

nini

mcratsix wrote: »

There hasn't been a meet up yet I don't think. It's difficult to get a time that suits everyone. However, I do plan on meeting up when I've the chance.
Come September I'll be looking to set up regular meetings in Dublin.

Thanks for reply mcratsix...This is great..I had thought about setting up something for so long. I'm really up for it...will you let me know when it's being organised?

mcratsix

nini wrote: »

Thanks for reply mcratsix...This is great..I had thought about setting up something for so long. I'm really up for it...will you let me know when it's being organised?

Yeah no problem!

Fathom

Took college speech. Gen Ed requirement. Helped.

red_barn

Hi

Have these meetings happened / still happening?

I would definitely benterested in attending as I suffer from the same symptoms

Any info would be greatly appreciated

Thanks

grangegorman

Hi Red barn,

Thanks for getting in touch. I am planning on starting these meet up groups early next month as I will have a bit more time on my hands. I will keep you and everyone else informed of potential dates for the first meeting. I'd imagine it will be a very small group of 3-5 people starting off as we would like to make sure everyone is comfortable in that environment. It will be a very relaxed meetup and if anyone doesn't want to talk that is fine as we all know the anxiety that exists amongst us. The purpose is to help each other and maybe discuss what areas we would like to improve whether its a work situation like presentations/speaking at meetings/introducing yourself in groups/giving a speech at a wedding/improve social skills. Hopefully it will be an opportunity to make a few friends too and enjoy the experience and improve each others lives. We can also support people that might want to go to toast masters and practice in front of larger groups. This group will be completely free and as I keep saying will be for mutual benefit to all involved.


Grangegorman....