Severely Depressed

clannad100

Hi all I am new to the Donegal board but am feeling a bit desperate. I have suffered with depression for years and now again I am very very low. I take a lot of medication and have CPN visit me every week but still no improvement. I am confined to my house scared to go out yet do nothing at home all day through lack of energy and motivation. I do see a psych doc regularly but nothing seems to work. I only keep going for my husbands sake.

can anyone relate?


thank you in advance

muffler

First of all the Donegal forum here on Boards doesnt have many regular posters so you may not get anyone to reply directly to you. I can look to see if your post can be accommodated in another forum that would be more suitable.

On a general note there are lots of people who suffer from depression and sadly some of them do so silently or maybe their loved ones dont recognise the signs. In equal measures there are lots of people and groups in the county that can and do help by reaching out to people and sharing their problems etc.

Always remember you are not alone.

Leave this with me and I'll be in touch a little later...probably by PM (private message).

clannad100

thank you so very much

muffler

clannad100 wrote: »

thank you so very much

No problem. You're more than welcome.

Im currently looking at a couple of options and will be in touch shortly

Victor

Hi, welcome to boards.ie

Many people experience such difficulties at some point in their lives. It can be difficult, indeed sometimes it seems impossible, but we do get by.

Aside from the depression and anxiety, you sound like you are a bit lonely. Might the be a way to take part in some activity, even if its just for a few hours a week. The CPN might be able to suggest something locally or alternatively, you could have a few people come to you.

There is a Personal Issues forum here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127 would you like a moderator to move your discussion there or would you like to keep it here on the Donegal forum?

muffler

There's also quite a long thread here (ignore the first post) which you could flick through. Its quite long but you could glance at posts randomly and may be able to identify with others.

clannad100

thank you for taking the time to respond to such a depressing post I would be very grateful if you could move the post to the link mentioned above

I sincerely thank you all

muffler

clannad100 wrote: »

thank you for taking the time to respond to such a depressing post I would be very grateful if you could move the post to the link mentioned above

I sincerely thank you all

Best of luck and as the old Donegal saying goes....take her easy

I'll move your thread for you now.

Blue Iris

Hi Op sorry to hear your depression is so bad. It's very difficult for you to feel so low over such a long period.

It can be hard to socialise as your confidence can also be low. But meeting others will reduce your isolation. Would you consider going to Grow meetings? Others there will be feeling similar to you and there's a facilitator so you won't have to worry about coming up with small talk. Being so alone really won't help your depression as it's just you and all the negative thoughts and feelings so you need to take small steps to break this.

Another idea is to join a craft group even just to learn the craft. You don't have to be good at it.The women in these groups are usually lovely and would make you welcome.

Try to structure your day a little. Go for a short walk, pick a subject you'd like to learn online, with a view to eventually feeling confident enough to go to a local adult education class. Read lots of books to expand your tastes and use your brain.

Finally, mindfulness is an excellent way to learn how to handle painful thoughts and feelings. A class would be brilliant but you tube videos are a good place to start. Jon Kabat Zinn is one of the best teachers. Best of luck.

Est28

OP,
What have you been doing to help improve your situation?

A doc/therapist/councellor in these situations won't help "fix" it. They'll listen to you if you like, but they can't change the situation.

Medication is the same. It can "help" in the sense of numbing you to some of what you're suffering from but if you feel it's bad I wonder why a doc would put you on medication which is not helping and then just leave it at that? Doesn't sound productive.

Tell us more, you're post doesn't say much. But how do you want to fix it, what's causing it, what would have to change for you to feel better? You have to work towards that stuff. A doctor or a pill isn't going to knock on your door and bring that stuff.

Also, to add to the above. A good diea, definitely try get out and about meeting people. I mean, you HAVE to.
Having said that, I'm not sure I agree with the "GROW" one. I find it odd to suggest that someone who's suffering, goes somewhere where the organization labels them as having mental problems and is basically people just there to wallow in themselves. I know, I know... others will disagree. But lifting depression is much easier if you are around and influenced but generally positive people around you. Going to places where you're labelled and around people just wallowing would make the situation so much worse if it were me.

Blue Iris

As far as I know, they don't "wallow". They focus on skills that may assist in lessening the impact of the depression. They take one task or challenge each week. It's very practical and anyone I know who has been has found it useful.

Est28

Blue Iris wrote: »

As far as I know, they don't "wallow". They focus on skills that may assist in lessening the impact of the depression. They take one task or challenge each week. It's very practical and anyone I know who has been has found it useful.

So you haven't been?

Only my personal opinion so take it with salt, etc, etc... but these sort of places are miserable. If you're trying to solve depression but sitting around just talking about nothing but depression you come away feeling worse than when you began. What someone like OP needs is other focuses to draw their attention AWAY from it.

Even if a "depression group" or whatever you'd call it TRIED to talk positively, it's still just re-inforcing to the person that they have mental issues and are depressed, often it's not even clinical depression but they are made think so, only compounding the problem.

OP, is taking meds and expecting them to "fix" this.
They are waiting for people to come "fix" them.
This WON'T work, I'm sorry, it won't. You have to be proactive and get out there and live life.

loubian

Hi Op. Well done on posting this. Acknowledging your illness is a good starting point. You say that you don't feel like anything is helping? Have you discussed this with your doctor or psychiatrist? In what way do you feel it's not working.

One thing to remember is that everyone experiences depression in different ways. Some people cannot take medication, other people find therapy unhelpful. It's all about what is best for you. You are being proactive in trying to overcome this so well done.

As a person who has experienced depression, I can tell you that it does take time and there will be setbacks. But as my therapist says, you will never be back where you were at the start because you gave learnt from it. Just try take each day as it comes. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to succeed at everything.

have you got any hobbies? Maybe you could try new ones?

Try to talk to your husband. It will be hard but the burden will definitely be lightened when you know he knows how you are feeling.

catonthewire

Hi OP,


Have you heard of WRAP, it's a fantastic programme aimed at building self esteem and aiding those who suffer from depression ect.
http://www.mentalhealthrecovery.com/e-learning/

The programmes take place all over the Country, I.am sure that your CPN will help you locate the nearest to you and set up a referal...
It's difficult motivating yourself to get out of the house for those who suffer from depression, but perhaps you could ask your husband to start walking with you on a regular basis until you feel more confident...

Chat with your CPN and let them know how isolated you feel, perhaps they can help and guide you towards local groups that could be of benefit to you..

clannad100

Thank you all for your kind and helpful responses but the fact is that I am treatment resistant schizoaffective/bipolar and have to have regular ECT treatments and now monthly maintenance treatments which are only having an effect for a week or so so I really am at rock bottom.

I have tried all the CBT, group therapies but the anxiety is so severe that I couldn't maintain any of that. I deal with a lot of paranoia which makes it really hard to go out and be around people, I have this for 25 years I am now 42.

I cant even maintain my house as I am absolutely drained of energy and motivation, my partner is very supportive as are my family but I do not want to see them coming to my house preferring to be alone. There are days when I just cry for no apparent reason and cant stop and days I don't even get out of my pyjamas going out only for psych appointments and collecting my prescriptions.

I took a major overdose in 2003 after which I spent 3 weeks in intensive care but unfortunately I survived and now I am only existing for the sake of my partner who would be alone without me. I have never taken an OD since although I though of it so often but my conscience wont allow me.

I have no life I merely exist.

catonthewire

OP,

I really do feel for you honestly, it took courage to come here and be so open about your mental health difficulties....
No wonder you feel so isolated, and feel your life is so bleak...
However you are alone, so many here can relate to you, have experienced the darkness that is depression and the effect is has on our lives...

I know only too well the difficult path to wellness, in your case you see no light at the end of the tunnel, but with the love and support of your family it's possible to at least feel less lonely and isolated....
Could you begin by allowing a member of your family to drop by for a coffee, if only for an hour, forget about how you home looks, they will understand ...

Please OP, never , ever think you are alone, there are wonderful online support forums , if you feel the need to chat anonymously, these are specifically for bipolar sufferers, full of fantastic people only too willing to lend their support and understanding....