Would you stand by them?

yellow feather

I always find it strange when I read about cases like Elaine O'Hara, Karen Buckley etc, where the murderer's parents and/or siblings stand by the murderer and support them, despite all evidence of their guilt.

Would you/could you stand by a sibling or child or other family member accused of something as serious as murder?

I really don't think I could. As much as I loved the person, that sort of action would outweigh all emotion. After all, I'd hardly turn the other cheek if they'd been the one murdered!

tomwaterford

It would depend on circumstances....like if it was someone killing someone for attacking there family etc it would be hard to adbandon them

Zanablue

I suppose you never really know what you would do until you were in that situation.

Menas

I dont know how I would react. But it is possible to support someone and not agree with the crimes they have committed.

blatantrereg

yellow feather wrote: »

Would you/could you stand by a sibling or child or other family member accused of something as serious as murder?

I really don't think I could. As much as I loved the person, that sort of action would outweigh all emotion. After all, I'd hardly turn the other cheek if they'd been the one murdered!

You say accused like that equates to guilt. People tend to assume that if someone is charged with something that they are guilty. The law commands that you do the opposite, but that's not how people think.

Media accounts of trials generally skew proceedings in favour of the most dramatic - which is to support the worst account of events. They focus on things that support the worst accusations, and don't even mention things that contradict them - even hard evidence. Not interesting to say "nothing much happened".

skylight1987

my love for my kids is completely and utterly unconditional .its a force of nature and while I would be devastated I would always support them no matter what the circumstance . my love for everyone else in my life is conditional so I would have to weight up the situation with any of them

hatrickpatrick

Innocent until proven guilty as far as I'm concerned. Trial by media and selective reporting of evidence has ruined too many innocent lives.

osarusan

Stand by them need not mean insist they are innocent.

Know a Cork fellow who is good friends with Graham Dwyer, visited him in prison.

Think I'd dump them for that level of depravity myself. But crimes are different, if a friend swindled revenue I'd stand him drink for the night.

Corvo

It would be hard, but even harder to walk away from them.

catallus

Corvo wrote: »

It would be hard, but even harder to walk away from them.

Because they'd try and stab you?

Red Kev

No.

Been there, have a relative who sat for child sex abuse offences. I don't speak to him and won't have him in the house. If any of my siblingsdid the same they'd get the same treatment.

I've a cousin who did a few weeks for possession of heroin about 15 years ago when he was 20, he was doing small time dealing. I get on fine with him, he got his life sorted out very quickly after he came out of prison.

robman60

I would stand by a family member if they were simply accused of murder. Chances are I'd be inclined to think they were innocent knowing my family thankfully. However, if I knew they were guilty and there was nothing to mitigate what they'd done (eg. killed an intruder) then I probably couldn't stand by them.

crazygeryy

if they admitted what they did and told me why they did it and they were sorry i think i could stand by them.
but the likes of graham dwyer who hasnt admitted it and shown no remorse, no i could not.i feel so sorry for his father and hes a courageous man to stand by that animal.

iDave

Would you want to piss off a murderer?

Toots

I used to be friends with a guy whose brother is in prison for murder. It's well known in the area that this guy is guilty, and even my friend believes that he did it, but his mother is adamant that he's innocent and that the whole thing is a total miscarriage of justice. It's not even a case that although he's guilty, she's still standing by him; it's that she absolutely refuses to entertain any notion that he could possibly have done it. I wonder does she know deep down that he did, or is it impossible for her to believe that her son could do something like that.

FalconGirl

Depends on the seriousness of the crime. As another poster above mentioned Graham Dwyer has a friend who still visits him. That is the extreme end of things and there is not a hope in hell I would want anything to do with a piece of filth like him.

Stheno

I worked with an IRA bomber years ago who had served his time and been released, I believe he has now become a priest (no joking, he was deeply religiouos)

NachoBusiness

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

leggo

Depends. If they were a scummy individual in general and it was the culmination of a long history of bad behaviour, I'd have likely distanced myself long before the ticking timebomb exploded. I just don't let people like that into my life. If it was an otherwise-normal loved one who committed something atrocious in a moment of madness, I'd likely try and understand what happened with a view to being able to overlook it and offer them some kind of support (at arm's length, mind). But if it was rape or the like, especially to do with children, then no I don't think I could stand by them no matter the circumstances.

Wacker The Attacker

Deleted User wrote: »

Know a Cork fellow who is good friends with Graham Dwyer, visited him in prison.

Think I'd dump them for that level of depravity myself. But crimes are different, if a friend swindled revenue I'd stand him drink for the night.

Why don't you swindle the revenue yourself if you think its so great?

freshpopcorn

I think I probably would depending on the situation. Anything involving child sexual abuse/ murder would be my biggest No's.
Have never been in the situation. The one thing I do know is the media can really make somebody the total bad guy in certain situations.

Wacker The Attacker

Darling darling stand by me

Frynge

Ah just another one of those questions that no one has an honest answer to until they are in that situation.

Summer wind

I would never stand by anyone that had committed an act of child cruelty or child sexual abuse.

I'm sure that in a lot of cases you can continue to love the person while hating the crime. Love has a vast range of permissions.

KCC

Deleted User wrote: »

Know a Cork fellow who is good friends with Graham Dwyer, visited him in prison.

Think I'd dump them for that level of depravity myself. But crimes are different, if a friend swindled revenue I'd stand him drink for the night.

if a friend swindled Revenue, he/she swindled you.