best way to go about this?

LegacyUser

Im a single parent with a young child.

I bring my child to various activities and my child is always making new friends and getting along well which is great to see.

Often, my child becomes particualrly friendly with one or two and when we are walking home, will walk with the child too.

I then will walk along side the mother of the child and this isnt an issue to me as im 100% proper. I respect that most are married, I chat only regarding my child, keep the conversations short but polite.

I dont mind walking as my child and her friend are happy walking and chatting along the way but sometimes I just get this wave of thoughts that I shouldnt as it might not look proper.

When we are walking, whenever the first opportunity to go in a different direction occurs, my child and I do this.

Two weeks ago, a husband of one of the mums met us half way out of the blue and I got this distinct impression he was not overly impressed and was giving me looks.

This has just raised more doubt in my head. I dont want to decline these situations all the time as I feel its not fair on my child and if I was a mum too there would be absolute no issue at all.

My child often gets asked to their birthda parties etc and I feel this is because they are good friends and maybe would not occur if I made excuses all the time to not walk along in the same direction.

I realise writing this, it may not seem like an issue at all or Im over thinking things, just I definitely got some impression the other week from the husband he was not overly happy.

If he knew the way I am, he would be a lot more at ease as I have no intentions or feelings towards any married woman. Incidently, this weekend he did not show up so maybe he is fine or was fine all along?

Should I be keeping my distance more in general with married mothers?

whatismyname

Hi OP. Just wondering, are you male or female yourself?

Virgil°

Yeah, you're WAAAAAY overthinking this. You're entitled to walk home whatever way and chat to whomever you please. Same for these mothers you're talking to.

If(and i doubt this is the case) any father has a problem with this then its their problem, not yours. Just because she might be married or a mother doesn't mean shes not allowed have single friends of the opposite sex.

LegacyUser

im male

LegacyUser

Are you suggesting that you have been refusing the invites to parties? Or that you're thinking of avoiding the walks so that the issue might not come up? If so, either one is dreadful! Why would you deny your child a chance to go to parties with their friends?? I hope the child has been going to the parties and continues to do so. You can't hold them back socially and emotionally for the benefit of your overthinking social awkwardness.

As for this husband who supposedly gave you looks, I'm pretty sure that could easily have been solved by introducing yourself - "Hiya, I'm John, John Junior's father, nice to meet you. The kids love walking this way so they can have a chat and play on the way from school". Anyone who has a problem after that has a problem you're not going to solve and you should just carry on as normal.

skallywag

best way to go about this wrote: »

Should I be keeping my distance more in general with married mothers?

OP, if this husband in question did indeed have an issue, then he is the one with the issue here rather than yourself. No, you have done nothing wrong whatsoever.

MagicMarker

Relax OP, you're making something out of nothing here.

hoodwinked

best way to go about this wrote: »

Should I be keeping my distance more in general with married mothers?

the short answer is no.


when you have children you come into contact with other parents naturally, some of these contact's even develop into friendships,

My husband has met single/married mothers/fathers that he would be friends with now through our daughter simply from taking her to parties, collecting her at school and walking in the same direction back to the car as them or even standing around for an hour talking to them while the children play, it doesn't bother me in the slightest as i have too,

nether of us have thought twice about these friendships because their relationship status has nothing to do with our friendships with them, our children get along and we have fun chatting/walking/drinking coffee's while the children play together.

orthsquel

I would assume that that particular husband was just caught off guard by your presence, the same as he might have been if there had been someone else - including a woman - instead of you there.

If you child is friends with other children you're bound to come up in conversation, especially if they are getting invites to birthday parties - at least your child is coming up in conversation anyway - so most likely you are too, and probably in a very general kind of way.

I'd have to agree with hoodwinked that you shouldn't distance or alienate yourself or your child... if they are mixing socially, making friends, then they are doing well and an abrupt change to that could be upsetting for both of you. It may well be likely that if they and the other children could be going to the same primary school (if not already) or living locally/nearby or involved in the same activities so chances are you are going to get to know these and other parents over time from school or activities anyway, even if it is from a sport activity sideline in the pouring rain on the tea run to organising a school lift or sleep overs, or even just being there for one another as parents.