Do I believe him?

Fimurcom

I hope someone can help me out here, after being in a relationship for 18 years, married for 8 of them, my marraige ended in October 2013. Things were not going well for 3 years at least and all efforts to improve things (councilling, trail separation) were not agreeable to my ex. Eventually things were so bad that we were not talking and sleeping in separate rooms. It was seriously affecting our children, 16,8 & 6 so I asked for formal separation.
He refused to leave the house originally but eventually agreed to as I could not receive rent allowance or sign on to the council housing list without a Separation agreement. I had to seek legal aid for this as I was made redundant 3 years ago & had no income. I had my first appointment in November 2013 after waiting 10 months.
I also had to sort out the morgage arrangements as he refused to contribute. I managed to get an Interest only repayment.
The car and all its costs is being split between us. As we agreed that whoever had the kids, had the car.
He has the children on a Saturday one weekend & Saturday/Sunday the following ( 3 days out of 14)
Things have not been good, I had to go go the Gardi to make a complaint due to constant text messages + hang ups from strange & withheld numbers,which only cease when I tell him that I have reported it.
I had to block his number on my mobile so that any calls he makes go to voicemail & so I can keep a record. I also let his calls go to the answering machine on the land line.
Within 3 weeks of him finally leaving, he was texting & calling other woman for dates, the only reason I am bothered was that 1 of them was my Sister. another was a very good friend, the worst was his 22 yr old step-daughter.
After a year of begging him to go to mediation, he has now agreed but only on the advise of his solicitor.
I have recently met someone, it's in no way serious at the minute, I have met him outside of the house on two of the 2 day weekends that my ex has the kids.
Now my ex is telling me that he has been advised by his solicitor that he can
1. move back into the house,
2. put me out of the house, take 1/2 of everything in it, including things I had bought since the split & have receipts for,
3. Make me provide Garda vetting firms for anyone that will be around his children that he doesn't approve of,
ie. any new relationships I may have.
And unfortunetly, that's just the tip of the iceberg.
I have been in contact with my Legal Aid but am waiting for an appointment.
Can he actually force me to do any of this ?
Sorry for the long rant

ComfortKid

Go to a different solicitor and find out.

jimmycrackcorm

2 and 3 are absolutely rubbish. Laugh them off. Point 1 however may be valid. If you are both on the mortgage and there is no legal separation then he is entitled to live there. Neither of you can force the other out.

Fimurcom

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

2 and 3 are absolutely rubbish. Laugh them off. Point 1 however may be valid. If you are both on the mortgage and there is no legal separation then he is entitled to live there. Neither of you can force the other out.

Thanks for the advise. i just find it very funny that he eagerly left the house when the morgage payments had to be made in full based on his income, but when I get them reduced, he insists on moving back in. I am quite happy to let him do so, when he signs the separation agreement (which he has REFUSED to do up to now) so that I can get help with re-housing.

Fimurcom

ComfortKid wrote: »

Go to a different solicitor and find out.

Thank You but the only problem i have is that He wont tell me who his solicitor is, and we live in a tiny town so I don't know where else to go and so I will have to wait until I get a new appointment with Legal Aid, and hope they will request the information from him.

CramCycle

Fimurcom wrote: »

Thank You but the only problem i have is that He wont tell me who his solicitor is, and we live in a tiny town so I don't know where else to go and so I will have to wait until I get a new appointment with Legal Aid, and hope they will request the information from him.

I am not certain of this but if the solicitor you go to is his, they should tell you, or you should be able to ask as it would be a conflict of interests.

Might be worth asking in the legal discussion forum if a solicitor has to disclose, they would probably not have a choice as they can't represent both of you at a round table discussion during mediation.