Life is imploding

LegacyUser

I lost my mum recently, my boyfriend and my job. My mum's death was unexpected though she had been sick here and there for a few years. My boyfriend managed to stay with me until after the funeral but then dumped me. And to top it all off a group of us were made redundant last week.

I am desperately sad and l don't know what to do. I don't think of harming myself or anyone else (thankfully) but the weight of everything is immense. The relationship breakup was coming for a while I think, but it still threw me a loop. As for losing my job, that came out of nowhere!

My mum and I were very close, and relations with my dad have turned very frosty since we lost mum. I cry a little every day and it doesn't feel like it's getting any better. I feel like everything has just gone 'bang' and I don't know how to dig myself out.

MrWalsh

You poor thing, thats a really nasty series of things to have happened in a short space of time.

Can you go and talk to your GP? Youve had three big life shocks one after another and you may need some medical assistance/therapy.

If you can afford not to look for a new job immediately I would suggest you do something nice for yourself and maybe go on a holiday or a few days away. You also need to talk to people around you and get some support.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Pataman

What you have to realise now, is that things can only get better!
Keep the chin up.

LegacyUser

You have been though a lot of difficult things in a short period of time. In regards to you mothers death would you consider going to breavement counselling as I feel this may help you.
Have things always been difficult with your father? Do you have any other relatives or family friends you could talk to at the moment?

In regards to your ex boyfriend it is his loss not yours. Don't be in any rush to get into another relationship. I have seen people jump into realtionships because they are lonely only to end up in a bad sitution.

In regards to your job situation. I would go to the social welfare office and make a claim for unemeployment benefit. It may take a few weeks for this to come through. I would also contact your employer about getting redundancy. If you need advice in regards to this go to your local citizen information office.
I know it is hard when you lose your job. I was in a contract role a few years ago and was not kept on. It give me a chance to have some time off before getting another job. I ended up getting a far nicer position.

I would get in contact with some friends and arrange to meet them even if it is only for a coffee. I will get you out of the house and give you some thing to look forward to. If you have some cash see if you can get a friend to go away with your for a few days.
Enjoy your time off and take each day as it comes. Keep in contact with friends and try to plan something to do each day so you don't get into a rut.
Things will get better for you.

silverfeather

It sometimes all seems to come at once doesn't it??

Damn girl you are going through so much I wish I could help you. You are stronger than you think remember that. I have been through some stuff I never though I could deal with. But I have.

And you REALLY see who your friends are then.
Reach out to friends and tell them you need them.

You need some help. I agree with the poster who suggested going to a GP.

Sometimes it's like how much more sh*t can I take?? Just hang on. Sometimes all you have to do is just hang on and keeping going. Just hang on. And it seems lighter. You will come through lighter and brighter than ever. Reach out be kind to you.

xx

gumbo1

You have been put on top if a **** heap in the last while! Someone once said that things will get tougher before they get better and I think that you have been through the toughest things that life can throw at anyone, ever. You've experienced loss of a loved one, separation from a partner and you have been thrown into turmoil by loosing your job. Personally I think these circumstances would be enough to break even the strongest willed person, myself included. But ya know what, there can be positives taken from all of this! You can hit the social scene again and cut loose with friends that will rally around you. You can experience new things with new people, go on dates, enjoy all there is to enjoy with a new partner. You can decide what job you would feel would be most rewarding to you personally, not a dead end job that could have been annoying you this time next year! I really don't mean for this to sound bad. You've suffered the heartbreaking experience of getting that call that a loved one has passed away and not one thing is going to be or feel as bad as that feeling. If you are feeling down at any time, talk to someone, anyone that you can about how you feel because if you bottle it up it will fester inside and that's not good for anybody involved so please, for your own sake, talk to someone, even it's the smaritans. The will listen and not be judgemental in anyway and you may feel a bit lighter inside afterwards!

Blue Iris

It's extremely hard to have gone through so many major losses in such a short space of time. Your grief for your mum is going to last quite a bit longer, from my experience. There's no way that you would be anywhere near over her loss in just a few months. Crying is an important part of the mourning process and it would be far more worrying if you weren't crying!

If you can, just let yourself have your feelings and try not to judge yourself. Everything you're feeling is perfectly normal. It's a real pity that your relationship with your dad has disimproved as grief is often eased a little when you can share it with someone else. This time next year, you'll be feeling a lot better. That might not be much comfort for you now but hopefully it will help to know that while grief is very painful and difficult, it is a temporary state and will eventually heal. Mind yourself.