When docs are the problem

LegacyUser

Not looking for medical advice more just empathy I suppose.

I got sick when I was younger went to my doctors for help and instead of help the many doctors I saw tried to dismiss me as being anxious. I was brought up to believe doctors were good people who helped people so my mental health really did deteriorate for a while in the belief that - well if they said I`m imagining it must be true. I know now I was having thousands of partial seizures a day and the medication they gave me (by the bad full i may add) actually exacerbated the problems. My parents and everyone else I know sided with the doctors also. No one offered me any mental health services either while I slowly lost any shred of self respect I could have held on to.

Eventually the seizures stopped and my health improved and I moved on with my life for a while. It was short lived. I had met my now husband by this time and we had moved into our home. So I basically spent about 4 years house bound with very little support and no understanding. My mental health and any self respect I had developed from the last period of wellness again ebbed away. Even going around the corner or upstairs was often too much for me. I was diagnosed during this period with ME and fibromyalgia but tbh I`m not sure I agree with them, I had private insurance at the time so I think they came up with something. I am not so much chronically tired as experiencing other limiting factors such as disorientation and bad balance during these periods of illness only.

So I got better. Got married, started working, got my degree and started improving my fitness. After a few miscarriages and many years of disappointment I got pregnant and had my son who`s 2 now.

Unfortunately I`m now sick again since January 2014. I thought I was better in November as one type of seizure wound down in November but another type started in February. I was with a GP that I thought was a nice guy and he insisted for weeks that these seizures were anxiety while again offering no help from a mental health point of view. I eventually found out they were a type of seizure and got an emergency appointment with a neurologist and got epilepsy medication and am feeling much better now.

I am trying to unravel the mystery of my health but this involves interactions with doctors. I am really struggling with trust and the inevitable confrontations with doctors and consultants. Most of the problems are down to not being listened to or notes being incorrectly taken or even people completely forgetting you or what they`ve said before or said they would do. I struggle with confrontation anyway. I think there under a huge amount of pressure in the public system and the resources just aren`t there.

I get the impression, from the GP`s especially, that they think I`m some kind of attention seeker when I couldn`t want to be further from their office. I am having anxiety attacks now when I have to ring the doctors office. I am going to therapy for over a year but its so hard to get anyone who hasn`t been through this to get a full understanding of the problem. I have tried to explain to my previous doctor why I get anxious when I go to the doctor because it affects for example my blood pressure and pulse when I`m there.

How do you take someone at their weakest moment and treat them like that? I wouldn`t treat my worst enemy that way. Aren`t they suppose to do no harm? Can you tell I`m a little bit angry?! Its not their fault I`m sick and I`m not expecting miracles or answers, I just want to be treated with respect. I don`t drink or smoke, take my medication and no other drugs, my diet is very good although I`m a stone overweight, I avoid chemical and use minimal products in the home, get free air and exercise and go to bed early.

Any advice on dealing with doctors very welcome. I`m keeping a diary now and trying to keep on top of things and advocate better for myself. My self esteem is already quite low. I`m not anxious in any other area of my life and other people would describe me as laid back which is accurate.

Clearlier

Sorry to hear of all your difficulties OP. I've seen my loved ones on the wrong end of poor medical care and it's very difficult to handle.

I'm not sure that there's a definitive answer on how to gain respect but a few ideas that might give you food for thought (treat as pic n mix, they're not necessarily interdependent):

- Build a relationship with your GP
- Try out different GP's until you get a good one. Like in any profession there are 10 - 20% outstanding, 70% mediocre to solid and a handful who should probably cease practicing. It's very difficult to know from the outside who's good or bad but when they start talking to you and explaining what they're thinking you can see whether they think logically and consider alternatives.
- Treat doctors as equals
- Ask your doctors for opinions, make decisions yourself. If the doctor isn't offering alternatives then ask them for a couple
- If you're having difficulties articulating yourself in appointments then perhaps consider writing down everything you want to mention/discuss and giving it to your doctor at the start of the appointment.

grumpynerd

Donoharmdoc wrote: »

Not looking for medical advice more just empathy I suppose.

I got sick when I was younger went to my doctors for help and instead of help the many doctors I saw tried to dismiss me as being anxious. I was brought up to believe doctors were good people who helped people so my mental health really did deteriorate for a while in the belief that - well if they said I`m imagining it must be true. I know now I was having thousands of partial seizures a day and the medication they gave me (by the bad full i may add) actually exacerbated the problems. My parents and everyone else I know sided with the doctors also. No one offered me any mental health services either while I slowly lost any shred of self respect I could have held on to.

Eventually the seizures stopped and my health improved and I moved on with my life for a while. It was short lived. I had met my now husband by this time and we had moved into our home. So I basically spent about 4 years house bound with very little support and no understanding. My mental health and any self respect I had developed from the last period of wellness again ebbed away. Even going around the corner or upstairs was often too much for me. I was diagnosed during this period with ME and fibromyalgia but tbh I`m not sure I agree with them, I had private insurance at the time so I think they came up with something. I am not so much chronically tired as experiencing other limiting factors such as disorientation and bad balance during these periods of illness only.

So I got better. Got married, started working, got my degree and started improving my fitness. After a few miscarriages and many years of disappointment I got pregnant and had my son who`s 2 now.

Unfortunately I`m now sick again since January 2014. I thought I was better in November as one type of seizure wound down in November but another type started in February. I was with a GP that I thought was a nice guy and he insisted for weeks that these seizures were anxiety while again offering no help from a mental health point of view. I eventually found out they were a type of seizure and got an emergency appointment with a neurologist and got epilepsy medication and am feeling much better now.

I am trying to unravel the mystery of my health but this involves interactions with doctors. I am really struggling with trust and the inevitable confrontations with doctors and consultants. Most of the problems are down to not being listened to or notes being incorrectly taken or even people completely forgetting you or what they`ve said before or said they would do. I struggle with confrontation anyway. I think there under a huge amount of pressure in the public system and the resources just aren`t there.

I get the impression, from the GP`s especially, that they think I`m some kind of attention seeker when I couldn`t want to be further from their office. I am having anxiety attacks now when I have to ring the doctors office. I am going to therapy for over a year but its so hard to get anyone who hasn`t been through this to get a full understanding of the problem. I have tried to explain to my previous doctor why I get anxious when I go to the doctor because it affects for example my blood pressure and pulse when I`m there.

How do you take someone at their weakest moment and treat them like that? I wouldn`t treat my worst enemy that way. Aren`t they suppose to do no harm? Can you tell I`m a little bit angry?! Its not their fault I`m sick and I`m not expecting miracles or answers, I just want to be treated with respect. I don`t drink or smoke, take my medication and no other drugs, my diet is very good although I`m a stone overweight, I avoid chemical and use minimal products in the home, get free air and exercise and go to bed early.

Any advice on dealing with doctors very welcome. I`m keeping a diary now and trying to keep on top of things and advocate better for myself. My self esteem is already quite low. I`m not anxious in any other area of my life and other people would describe me as laid back which is accurate.

Use google to build a portfolio of serious research then find a sympathetic doctor for a fresh start. Dont be afraid to dictor shop.

Be prepared that you may unintrntionally be the problem. Doctors can be arrogant but we are obliged to be good patients too.

Some gps may be prepared to treat you anonymously if you insist you want a fresh diagnosis free of your medical records.