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Let go?

  • 04-05-2015 9:14pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi. I recently had an argument with a friend. I just felt she really wasn't that bothered about me (i.e. not texting back, ringing back). She got really mad at me when I told her how I was feeling, became passive-aggressive on Facebook etc. I've tried to meet up with this friend one on one to bring things back on track, but she keeps involving another friend in our meetings.

    Looking back, I believe this friend was tactfully trying to phase me out of her life. I now wish I had let her get on with it!

    Anybody ever experienced anything like this in their friendships? I'm at the point now where I just feel that the waters have been muddied to such an extent that I don't know which way is up. A part of me feels that I should just let the friendship go.

    Thank you for reading.


Comments

  • #2
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    Yes! I've been at the giving and the receiving end of this sort of treatment. The first time it happened to me was when I was 22 or 23. My best friend of 10 years did it to me. At first I felt annoyed, then a bit hurt. Then I had a think about it and realised that we'd been drifting apart for a while and we didn't really have anything in common any more. It's just that my friend had figured it out before I did. In hindsight I am so glad I didn't try to fight to save our friendship. We occasionally bump into each other back home and we've got nothing in common any more.

    I'm not proud of it but I did it to a long standing friend a few years ago. Why did I do it? Simple - I stopped enjoying hanging out with him and didn't look forward to catching up with him any more. It's amazing how busy you can become in work when it suits you ;) It's hard to end friendships and this is the way I ended up getting this guy out of my life. Call me horrible if you want but I don't regret it one bit.

    In your case, all I can see is the writing on the wall. You can't convince someone to be friends with you if they don't want to be. Your friend deliberately ignored your texts and didn't call. She went out of her way to bring a friend along to your meetings so that you'd not put her on the line and make her feel awkward. If that's not a dirty big brush off I don't know what is. Maybe your friend can't quite put her finger on why she doesn't want to be friends any more but she knows how she feels. It's you who can't accept it. Keep your dignity and stop grovelling.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    LOL, thanks for the honesty! Might be for the best to wash my hands of the whole sorry mess.


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