After Date Etiquette

misterbungle

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misterbungle

Can someone tell me if i was in the wrong here?

-Few weeks ago, someone who had contacted me via a dating site, and to whom i had been talking for a week or so, asked to meet me.

-We got on...Okay in person, plenty of banter. But something didn't feel right, person seemed a little uneasy/unhappy and maybe a bit too quick to judge others, and over email they'd alluded to being a little unhappy with their dating track record.

-After a few hours, i said my goodbyes, we both got up to leave, and i said something about one of us texting the other. I didn't say *I* would do it, because i wasn't sure how i felt about it, and i was leaning towards saying she had enough of me.

-So no text was sent by me the next day.

-The day following the day after, i receive a message from them very critical of me for not sending them a text.

1) Did i break Etiquette by not sending a text anyway?
2) Did they think the meeting was more successful than i did?
3) Did they just act this way because of their own past experiences/personality?

Squall Leonhart

Hi there. Speaking as someone who has been on many many plenty of fish dates, I've picked up a few things... For what it's worth, please allow me to share my opinions;

1) After a meeting, probably within sixty minutes if it's an after or early evening date, or perhaps the next morning I'd it's been a late date, send a text saying what you want to say, or alluding to it, "was lovely to meet you after X days/weeks... ", "that was fun, would love to do it again soon :-)".. Whatever it may be. Of course it's easier say positive things, even if you've no interest in meeting again it is only polite not to ignore the person who has afterall made the effort to squeeze you into his or her day

2) Some people are battle weary and carrying scars and wounds from former encounters. Being jaded, while not attractive, should not be dismissed and a person should not be written off for it immediately (if after repeat dates there's no budge and a general underlying sense of mistrust and raised guard, he/she probably realistically shouldn't be dating). If a person is worth getting to know then we all come with some baggage, be understanding.

3) do not just ignore somebody and disappear without saying another word. If they're not your type or whatever, say that (worded gently). A polite refusal is a thousand times kinder than a deafening silence - been there many many times!

ancapailldorcha

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