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Sex issue

  • 04-05-2015 10:17am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi. I'm a 25 year old woman and I've always found sex slightly difficult. I had a lot of issues when I started having sex that basically centred around me feeling like I had to have sex with anyone who wanted to, and I should basically be grateful anyone wanted me. Anyway, I got out of that ridiculous mindset but it has left me with a few issues; sometimes I get reallly upset during sex for no reason, and despite really enjoying sex i've never actually orgasmed.

    I broke up with my ex about 10 months ago. While we were together I made a lot of progress and after we broke up I had some really good casual sex that I enjoyed thoroughly. Lately I've decided I'm ready for something more serious and the other night I went on a date. It went great and, though neither of us planned it, I invited him back to mine. When he touched my genitals (with his hand, mouth or penis) it was really, really painful. He was really nice about it and stopped everything as soon as I asked, he was so understanding and is still interested in a second date.

    I'm very worried now though. I was tested for STI recently so it's not that, and it doesn't hurt to my touch. This only happened once before with a guy I saw for about 2 months and it never got better. It doesn't seem to be his technique or anything. I was thinking of asking him if we could hold off on having sex again, and I'm fairly certain he'd be cool with it, but I think that would make me feel under pressure when we did finally have sex. And I don't really want to unleash all my crazy on him after one date! I really want to meet him again but I feel this need (that I know is wrong) to "make up for" the other night and it's making me worry about sleeping with him again.


Comments

  • #2
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,856 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    If he's a good guy (and it sounds like he is), then he would be completely understanding about it and would have no expectations or put you under any pressure. I'd just be open with him, tell him you really like him, but for some reason are finding it a bit painful, so would like to take it slow for now.

    If he runs a mile then at least you'll have discovered pretty early that he wasn't worth it, and that you made the right decision not to force yourself to sleep with him. If not, then you'll work through it together over time. Win-win.


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