Hair removal -too young

Pugins

My 7 year old niece has a lot of hair on her legs. She has dark hair and her leg hair has become much more noticeable recently. She has asked why her legs are so hairy (most of her friends are blonde). She has asked about how to get rid of it. It seems very young to me but if it's something that's bothering her should her parents allow her to use a cream or something. She is quite sporty and swims weekly and it would be a shame if she was too conscious of her hairy legs and cut back on her activities.

How soon is too soon? When she starts what is best- shaving, waxing, cream?

jopax

Hi there, had very same issue with my 8 year old.
She was in school and some of the kids started to make fun of her about her hair.
I just explained as you did that we all have hair but just that with lighter haired people its harder to see.
She wanted to do something about it, so like you I wasn't sure because she was so young and didn't know what to use. In the end I just got the cream and used that.
That was about 7 months ago and obviously the hair has grown back but she hasn't mentioned it since, so neither have I.
Like you I would like to know what other parents have done.

LegacyUser

I was that 7 year old. Now it was 25 years ago, but still. My mum used to bleach it for me once or twice over the summer generally. I can't remember it being much of an issue at swimming etc. She explained to me the same way as jopax did. I still amn't sure of the right thing to do and I fear I will have the same problem with my own daughter in the future. My mum was quite proactive about it, although I know not everyone will agree with bleaching it. She wouldn't let us shave it though because it would grow back so thickly after time, and she felt we were too young to be shaving.I am aware of a couple of people who had very dark kind of sideburns when they were kids and it bothered them so much their parents took them to get it lasered off.
It's very hard to know.

tinkerbell

Please do not use a hair removal cream on a 7 year old. Hair removal cream is an awful product for adult skin, never mind for a child's skin.

Blingy

Considering it will grow back darker and thicker I would recommend leaving it as long as possible.

Roselm

Blingy wrote: »

Considering it will grow back darker and thickern

This is untrue.

seventeen sheep

I would suggest getting them waxed (at a professional salon) as a once-off, then getting her an epilator to use as necessary as regrowth appears. She'll probably get a good long time out of the waxing anyways at her age. I'm not sure if there's anything you can do for pain relief for the waxing, I've a feeling there are creams you can use? No idea if they actually work though!

Satori Rae

I would be very wary about trying creams on young skin most of the creams I have tried even for sensitive skin irritate me.

But if your daughter is that self conscious over it and is set on getting rid of it I would try this brand I have tried the gel and found it to be good, that is all I have tired though but the lady who came up with the brand, did so as her daughter had very dark hair growth (not sure how old she was) you could try get her to stave of a few years though after all it's very a very young age for waxing.

http://www.nads.com/gel

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Don't use any hair removal creams on a child's skin. Good Lord. 7 seems very young to be trying any methods of hair removal. Hold off for as long as you can.

Satori Rae

Ah here you go http://www.nads.com/ingrow_solution_faqs but I do agree it is way to young for this, but if she is depressed over it then it is a case of rock and hard place.

Manitoban

My daughter will be 6 in July, there isn't a hope in hell I would be waxing or using an epilator on her in a year cause it hurts, plain and simple. I think your neice needs reassurance that at 7 it's nornal to have hairs on her legs. Poor thing will have a life time of shaving/waxing/whatever, no need to start so young.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

And that aside, no reputable salon would even attempt to wax a child's legs. It's kind of sad that kids are getting hung up on something like this so young though.

shedweller

This is messed up. The internet has a lot to answer for.
Scary thing is, in 500 years time it will be soo the norm.
OP, i was going to say hold back on the de-hairifying but if her peers are being bolloxes about this then keeping up with the joneses has to be factored in.
Or she goes all bruce lee on their face and threatens to kill them if they slag her hairyness again.
I'm only half joking. People are ****ers from my experience.

PucaMama

There should be no such thing as too young if the child is so uncomfortable with her leg hair. What harm is removing a bit of hair seriously

seventeen sheep

PucaMama wrote: »

There should be no such thing as too young if the child is so uncomfortable with her leg hair. What harm is removing a bit of hair seriously

Exactly. One of my sister's friends when she was young was Italian and had very dark hair on her arms and legs from around eight years old. We'd often hear the other kids teasing her about it, to the extent that she started only wearing long sleeved tops and trousers, even on the warmest days in summer.

Of course she shouldn't have felt the need to do this, but the fact is that kids ARE cruel. If you can save a child from unnecessary bullying, why wouldn't you?

I'd agree that the creams would be too harsh, but I'd see no harm in supervised shaving, or else waxing/epilating (so long as she was well prepared for the pain!)

When I was twelve my mum said I was too young to start shaving my legs, sure I only ended up "borrowing" my dad's razor anyways (and made a complete balls of it) ... I think it would have been much better if my mum had just bought me a razor and shown me how to do it!

I don't think you can prepare a seven year old for the pain of waxing. And whatever about shaving etc, I don't think it's OK for a child to think she needs to go through pain to fit in or to feel good about her body.

LegacyUser

First off I'm not a parent so I'm not speaking from experience here or anything, I just saw this thread on the home page and it caught my attention.

I had my first bra at 10, period at 11 and started shaving under my arms at about 11 or 12 too. I suppose I was lucky in that I'm very fair haired elsewhere but underarm hair was darker.

One of my friends in school noticed one day I had underarm hair and pointed it out to me, as if I wasn't already aware I had quite a tuft there! All it took was one person saying it to me and that evening at home I went straight to trying to get rid of it. First with a scissors, then grabbed some soap and my Mums razor and off I went. I thought you were meant to shave your entire arms so I did that even though there was no need to do the rest of my arms. Ended up with a few little knicks and an itchy rash on my forearms...

Guess I'm trying to say be careful she doesn't go experimenting with a razor herself without knowing how to use it.

It's a very tricky situation to know what the right thing to do is. On the one hand I think 7 is so young, and she shouldn't have to worry about this stuff and should be taught how to love and feel comfortable in her own skin.

On the other hand if it escalates into bullying, and/or her quitting her sports because she is too self conscious then that seems such a shame over something that could probably be sorted easily.

Is she aware that all women grow hair on their legs and that it is not just her and that there is nothing wrong with her?

This might sound silly but I think if she was my daughter I would grow out my own leg hair just to show her it was normal and nothing to be worried about. I know my boyfriend would happily go along with this if it was in aid of reassuring our daughter. A few of my friends would probably do the same too with me if they thought it would help show her it was normal and ok.

I would explain to her that adults sometimes choose to remove it as "fashion thing" but that it was a fashion that only applied to adults and nobody expected little girls to ever worry about such things.
I would explain that all women had hair on their legs when they were younger just like her, and that her friends would one day too have hair on their legs too, that everybody's timing is different and she is just a quick starter/has darker hair which there is absolutely nothing wrong with.

If after all my efforts to build her self esteem and reassure her failed though and she started to get bullied or quit her sports I think I would just show her how to shave safely or do it for for her the first few times. I'm not sure the argument for her NOT removing the hair is strong enough to warrant allowing her to become miserable or picked on if efforts to reassure her fail.

It's a tough situation to call though.

Roselm

You might be able to bleach the hair and make it less noticeable?!

seventeen sheep

Roselm wrote: »

You might be able to bleach the hair and make it less noticeable?!

Definitely do a patch test if going down this route! I'm not sure it'll work though. I'm thinking particularly for her swimming classes - if she's growing noticeable hair on her legs, it'll probably also be noticeable around her bikini area before too long, and bleach really wouldn't be an option there.

I think it's easy to say to leave her as is and that it's normal and natural when it's not your own child getting comments and feeling self-conscious. I remember how I felt when my mother told me I was far too young to even think of shaving my legs or underarms - although the hair was noticeable in both areas, and I hated going swimming etc because of it. Because she didn't help me deal with it, it made me feel like I was a bit of a freak to have grown hair before others my age. It certainly didn't feel normal or natural.

Kids shouldn't bully each other over this sort of thing, but of course they do.

If it were my daughter, I'd probably take the opportunity to have a good chat about puberty. (If she's developing hair, she may end up getting her period quite young, too.) I'd explain that developing hair on certain parts of your body is completely normal and will happen to almost all of her friends, too, at some point. I'd wait to gauge her response - it could be a case that the hair doesn't even bother her, and that she doesn't want to do anything about it.

However if it was upsetting her and if she asked for my help in dealing with it, I'd go through the options. As mentioned above, I'd be inclined to suggest shaving under your supervision. Or else waxing, with upkeep through epilation. (The epilation is unlikely to hurt much if she keeps it up regularly, and will mean she won't need regular waxing, it could be a one off.)

It is true that not all waxes are as painful as others - I believe NADS was created by a woman in a similar position to the OP, where her daughter grew hair quite young and found regular waxes too painful. Anyways if she's unsure about the pain, you could just do one test strip first. If it's too sore, shaving is probably a better option.

If she'd prefer the waxing though, after the test strip, I'd either arrange for a mobile technician to come to the home, or else do it yourself if you feel confident you'd be able to. Assure her that she can take as many breaks as she wants, and also that she can call the whole thing off altogether at absolutely any point. (Who cares if she ends up with one half-waxed leg? Less for her to shave, at least!)

She may even decide to just use an epilator from the start - it would mean she could do it at her own pace (even over a few days if she wanted) and there are no real safety concerns as with razors, so she wouldn't need to be supervised each time.

I'd definitely make it her own decision - that it's absolutely fine and normal to leave the hair there, but that if at any stage she wanted to remove it, there are several pros and cons to each method.

bjork

If she's getting teased in school, the teacher needs to be approached.
The child needs to be taught to be confident in her body and what is natural.

She is 7

IvyTheTerrible

A child is getting teased by people and the answer is to change the thing she is being teased about? Better for the other children to be taught how to deal with difference.

Gatling

What do your neices parents think op .

PucaMama

If the child is uncomfortable with the hair no amount of projecting the adults stubbornness about it is going to fix it

bjork

PucaMama wrote: »

If the child is uncomfortable with the hair no amount of projecting the adults stubbornness about it is going to fix it

Yeah; and if she's gay as a teenager she'll be encouraged to hide and cover up that too, in case she's teased

seventeen sheep

bjork wrote: »

Yeah; and if she's gay as a teenager she'll be encouraged to hide and cover up that too, in case she's teased

Who here has said she should be encouraged to get rid of the hair?

Myself and others are saying that she should be taught that it's perfectly healthy and natural and normal to grow body hair, and that it happens to everyone, and that it is fine to leave it there if she is comfortable doing so. But that if she ever chooses to remove it, some options are more suitable than others, and she should be made aware of the pros and cons of the various options.

It's about allowing her to make her own informed choices about her own body.

SparkySpitfire

I was that child. I also had a unibrow and a tash. I cried so much from being made fun of because of it. I dreaded PE because we had to wear shorts and while most people didn't say anything to me there was one girl that never left me alone about my ronnie. It was awful, I sat in the grass on sports day crying in anger over one smart comment.

That's all it takes, one smart comment. My mom gave me a mens buzzer razor when I was around 9, it wasn't painful, you couldn't get cut off it and there was plenty of stubble but I was absolutely delighted with it. Used it for years.

Next came the unibrow, I tackled this on my own with a tweezers, to this day my eyebrows are still just slightly too far apart because I'm too conscious even now to let them grow back. It would have been good if I'd had someone to help me with this.

Lastly came the one I wanted gone most. I was even too embarrassed to tell my mom that it was an issue, when I was around 13 I saw a YouTube video on threading and threaded the stash, it was probably the best thing I ever did. It barely ever grows back even today.

Basically, the moral of this is that I would have benefited with more help in this regard. Bullies aren't going to stop and even if they do, the seed has been sown. It kills inside to think you're ugly at such a young age. Even my friends would sometimes made comments that killed me, not realising how much it hurt. I'm not saying every child who experiences this needs to go get waxed, I wouldn't think that's even a good idea at all, but for the sake of their self-esteem do SOMETHING to help. I'm still recovering from that blow. Body hair is still such an issue for me. Better to help the child at their behest, possibly even before anyone gets the chance to make their life harder because of something they can't control. Kids can really be so cruel.

catchery

My daughter is seven and has a tuft of hair under her chin since she was born , she also has very hairy arms since having to use steroids for a health issue 2 years ago !
When asked the first time i explained it was just baby hair that never fell off and how all babies are covered in hair when they are in their mammys belly ! It is still keeping her confident and happy and she does not have any issues with it so far , but as soon as she does i will give her a choice of removing it. Like the previous poster has given a personal account of how it affected them. I want my daughter to know she can come to me for anything and i will do my very best to sort it out whatever way she chooses. Bullying and cruel comments will happen no matter what but if it starts to affect a child something has to change and its not fair but id rather sort it out than leave it and damage her self confidence.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

It's not always as simple as removing the hair and all being right with the world then. When I went through puberty, I was so ashamed of the changes in my body. Hair spurting out everywhere, it was horrific. I was about 10 or 11 when it happened too.

I was 12 the first time I shaved my bikini area. What 12 year old worries about that? Of course it was awful uncomfortable but it didn't stop me shaving, until I was old enough to be waxed and not embarrassed.

I'm 26 now. And have an irrational paranoia of body hair. I wax everything. Below my eyebrows you'd be hard pressed to find any hair on me. I have the sides of my face and lip and chin and around my hairline threaded. I have my arms waxed. My legs waxed. Hollywood waxed. Even my toes. There is fluffy blonde hair on the bottom of my back that the girl who does my waxing refuses to wax off because "there's nothing there".

I feel filthy if my hair is growing back and I can't get waxed. So unclean with any body hair. And I know it definately comes from when I was a child, and my mother noticing it. But being so concious of it and having so much control over it from such an early age has stayed with me and made me OCD almost.

If I could go back to being that age, I don't think I should have done it so young - maybe I would have gotten over it and accepted it as a healthy change that happens to everybody, instead of just shame

PucaMama

bjork wrote:

Yeah; and if she's gay as a teenager she'll be encouraged to hide and cover up that too, in case she's teased

It's a bit of hair!! If the child wants it removed then it should be removed. Comparing it to being gay is ridiculous.

bjork

PucaMama wrote: »

It's a bit of hair!! If the child wants it removed then it should be removed. Comparing it to being gay is ridiculous.

Exactly, it's just a bit of hair. Both are natural. Why should they be taught the are abnormal with one and normal an not the other?


You rather the advice

"I shaved when I was 6, I now have a lifelong complex and hangups about body hair, you should do the same"

It's lazy parenting at it's finest

Satori Rae

bjork wrote: »

Exactly, it's just a bit of hair. Both are natural. Why should they be taught the are abnormal with one and normal an not the other?


You rather the advice

"I shaved when I was 6, I now have a lifelong complex and hangups about body hair, you should do the same"

It's lazy parenting at it's finest

Everyone has a different way of parenting, we all want our kids to be happy, do any of us wanting our kids growing up before there time having to shave or put harsh chemicals on their skin or being socially out casted due to any situation no.

It would be nice if everyone could teach all their kids to be polite and not point out things and to help curb bullying if it happens, it would be lovely if we didn't have to do things to suit others (which when you are young you may feel like when growing up) . But to a child it seems more or overbearing pressure then it is.

At least when we are adults we can do as we please, shave, not shave. This is not about being gay though.

But also I don't think this is lazy parenting, I wouldn't want my kids to have to have, wax or anything at this age. I would try fob them off unless it was a necessity, for the good of their young skin, unless it was really effecting them.

I would ask a dermatologist or a doctor the best way to proceed as it may warrant careful consideration at that age more so then teaching them how to use a razor properly. It all comes down to talking to your child and listening to them.

bjork

^^Bring her to a dermatologist because she has hair on her legs??

Yeah, that will reassure her it's natural


I've heard it all now. I'm out of this thread.

Satori Rae

bjork wrote: »

^^Bring her to a dermatologist because she has hair on her legs??

Yeah, that will reassure her it's natural


I've heard it all now. I'm out of this thread.

You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder over this.

Of course I would seek a professional opinion from a skin care doctor as they can recommend you the best treatment you could get for your child to get rid of unwanted hair in there professional opinion ie lazer hair removal or special creams that would be designed to best suit young skin.


I wouldn't want to put something on my child's skin that could cause them a massive break out. Something a patch test doesn't always pick up on.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

bjork wrote: »

Exactly, it's just a bit of hair. Both are natural. Why should they be taught the are abnormal with one and normal an not the other?


You rather the advice

"I shaved when I was 6, I now have a lifelong complex and hangups about body hair, you should do the same"

It's lazy parenting at it's finest

If that's quoting me, that's absolutely not what I'm saying at all. I make a living waxing people. I just think kids should be allowed be kids for the short time they are without bringing them to have their legs waxed - but each to their own. I'm not telling anyone how to rear their child. It's just a different perspective is all. No need to be so ratty to be honest

LegacyUser

So my opinion on this is by letting a child this young have hair removed you are basically confirming that yes body hair is abnormal and something to be ashamed of. You are confirming and reinforcing to the child that yes you should be ashamed of your body hair that it's not normal and to me this will feed into other body issues or insecurities.
Why not take the time to talk to the child, reassure them that it's normal, explain why she has darker or thicker hair than say a fair child. By doing this you will build your child up, make them feel ok in their skin and most importantly understand Her body and the differences in everyone's bodies how that's ok and normal.

Much better than a quick fix of just getting rid of the hair, next week she may concerned her nose is bigger than next child. Will you go through plastic surgery to fix that or explain everyone is different and its ok to different

Satori Rae

Ruthiemm wrote: »

So my opinion on this is by letting a child this young have hair removed you are basically confirming that yes body hair is abnormal and something to be ashamed of. You are confirming and reinforcing to the child that yes you should be ashamed of your body hair that it's not normal and to me this will feed into other body issues or insecurities.
Why not take the time to talk to the child, reassure them that it's normal, explain why she has darker or thicker hair than say a fair child. By doing this you will build your child up, make them feel ok in their skin and most importantly understand Her body and the differences in everyone's bodies how that's ok and normal.

Much better than a quick fix of just getting rid of the hair, next week she may concerned her nose is bigger than next child. Will you go through plastic surgery to fix that or explain everyone is different and its ok to different

I wouldn't say body hair is a bad thing it is down to the person if they want to keep it or not, a child however (and I have been there myself, I think a lot of us have played with razors when we where young >.<) may not realize that, but I see your point on talking to your child in that way first.

Some people are a lot more prone to body hair then some of us, there is no shame in that at all. (which is what I would say first to my child before offering removal solution's if the conversation veered that way)

This is not about conforming or not this is about ensuring your child is happy in themselves, so they don't try sneaky tackle the issue themselves and make it worse or feel isolated or even feel like they can't come to you to talk to you about these sort of things if they crop up again. I know it is horrendous thinking of a child having to even think about these issues but a lot of us where lucky not to have dark hair or noticeable growth. I could see how this would be upsetting to a child.

SparkySpitfire

A lot of people who find it easy to say no outright are those who never experienced this problem. You cannot fully understand how awful it is to be plagued with thick dark body hair until you've had it.

You can reassure until the cows come home but if someone gets under a child's skin and plants that seed talk is going to become futile pretty quickly. You can stop the bully bullying, but the damage is done. There comes a time when talk just won't cut it and no amount of proselytising is going to solve a child's body-issue images. You have to come at it from a helping point of view not a "you're wrong, it's normal, stop worrying about it" tack. Because of the things that girl said to me in PRIMARY school I would still cry about my looks in early years of secondary school because I thought I'd never get a boy to like me. Even if I'd had the guts to tell my mom I don't think anything she could've said would have convinced me at that point.

One thing that did help me was going to the doctor. I got the idea into my head that I had hirsutism or a hormone problem and I went to the doctor who just reassured me that I had nothing to worry about that what I had was totally normal and if it did turn out to get worse she would help me with blood tests etc. Because this came from a healthcare professional and not my mom it actually eased my mind a lot. Kids know that their parents love them and will just say things to make them feel good and happy, but doctors owe you nothing but a professional opinion so it's validating for them to tell you in their educated opinion that you are A-OK.

I'm still obsessive about my eyebrows but one thing I just won't get rid of is arm hair... One day I brushed up against the arm of a friend who has dark hair but way thinner and less noticeable than mine. She had shaved them and I actually shivered when I brushed off her it was horrible and despite my hang-ups I absolutely refuse to shave/wax my arms. I remember my mom let me feel her leg stubble and that put me off shaving for a long while too, sometimes showing kids the consequences instead of just warning them about it can help.

Try stave off for as long as you can by all means but prepare yourself for other options when the talk isn't enough anymore.

seventeen sheep

Ruthiemm wrote: »

So my opinion on this is by letting a child this young have hair removed you are basically confirming that yes body hair is abnormal and something to be ashamed of. You are confirming and reinforcing to the child that yes you should be ashamed of your body hair that it's not normal and to me this will feed into other body issues or insecurities.
Why not take the time to talk to the child, reassure them that it's normal, explain why she has darker or thicker hair than say a fair child. By doing this you will build your child up, make them feel ok in their skin and most importantly understand Her body and the differences in everyone's bodies how that's ok and normal.

Much better than a quick fix of just getting rid of the hair, next week she may concerned her nose is bigger than next child. Will you go through plastic surgery to fix that or explain everyone is different and its ok to different

Body hair is normal. Some people choose to remove it. This is OK too. Most adult women I know choose not to display hairy legs in public (even if they're hairy a lot of the rest of the time!) If you're a school-age/teenage girl, obliged to wear a school uniform, it's not always so easy to cover it up as when you're an adult.

Say if your daughter is 13/14 years old and wants to go to her first teenage disco, and all of her friends are wearing skirts and sleeveless tops, and she'd love to wear those things too but is too embarrassed because of her hairy legs and underarms. Would you give her the choice then? I mean, at what age is it acceptable for her to make choices in hair removal?

To me, when it starts to affect her is when she becomes entitled to that choice. As in, from when the hair starts to grow and from when she becomes aware of it. Even if she happens to be younger than most others her age when this happens.

I would never actively encourage my child to remove excess hair, but I'd always advise them and educate them and support them in their choices. If they were a young developer - so be it. You adapt to your own child and to their own wants and needs.

Pugins

Thank you for all the comments. Interesting to hear the comments. I am inclined to agree with those posters who say it's too young but also find myself agreeing with those who say that if this is a problem for her then let her fix it (with help of course). The reality is that the vast vast majority of women remove body hair. There are some who are lucky enough to only have to deal with lower leg hair occasionally. Unfortunately looks like my niece with pale skin and lots of dark hair will be dealing with full leg hair removal. Whether you agree or not it is undeniable that hairless legs are considered normal and desirable for women. She will face this dilemma for many many years. Hopefully we can avoid it for a little while but it will be inevitable for us and her.

Sherlof3

I shaved my arms once when I was 8. My aunt frightened the bejaysus out of me about how it would grow back and to leave it alone. I still remember her reaction to this day. Thank god I never did it again.