Great first date but can't get second date!

tomgaa

I met this girl on pof, talked for a while on it, exchanged numbers. The text were always frequent and she would text me first as would I on other occasions. So we organised a date for a Saturday night, I went to hers 7.30pm . We went for a walk along the canal, never an awkward silence always laughing, touching and got on really well. Went for dinner and then I walked her home, kissed her outside and she invited me in, more kissing in the sitting room, we went up stairs and continued there but we never had sex or got undressed as she said she never sleeps with a guy on the first date. I ended up staying till 2am. And we talked about everything, tbh it's the best first date Iv ever had. But since then she never texts, it's always me. She couldn't go on a date last Sunday coz she said she was tired. I suggested tonight for a movie or theatre, she said she couldn't but she "maybe" free Monday! Like for me if I like someone il try and find time to see them but after such a good first date I taught she would be well keen for a second date? Am I missing something here????

kylith

Sounds to me like she's not that into you. I'd say send her one last text telling her to let you know when she'd like to meet, then don't text her again; the ball is in her court. In the mean time you can continue chatting to other people.

tomgaa

kylith wrote: »

Sounds to me like she's not that into you. I'd say send her one last text telling her to let you know when she'd like to meet, then don't text her again; the ball is in her court. In the mean time you can continue chatting to other people.

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm getting that vibe myself, I mean I'd be right in saying that if she doesn't find time for me Monday then that's it done and dusted tbh! That would be two weeks since the first date!

kylith

Since it's been two weeks if she was interested she'd have made the effort to see you again by now. I say, move on.

December2012

It's been one week, am I correct? Calm down. If she's busy she's busy. Why not go ahead and make the date for Monday?

LegacyUser

I often find it very difficult to get a gauge on whether a woman likes you or not based on a first date. I've had a few go brilliantly (or so I thought) followed by disappointment. Also had awkward first dates that actually led to relationships.

So many woman are insecure and they may not be into you at all from the start but still want you to be interested in them for an ego boost. To me this seems like what she's done with you here. Kinda sad but the longer you play it cold to almost a point of disinterest with these type of woman, you usually have much better chance of success, basically do the opposite of everything you think you should be doing from a gentlemanly perspective.

Snoutface

You don't know what's going on in her life. It's easy to go out and enjoy a few drinks with someone but people are made up of many layers and you're only being exposed to the most superficial one at that stage. For all you know she could have just had a breakup, someone is sick, God only knows. I would imagine though in most cases like this the spark just wasn't there for her. Don't get your hopes up after one date in future, just keep your head up and try again.

ibarelycare

To me it sounds like she could have another first date lined up this weekend with someone she also likes, and she doesn't want to commit to anything with you until she sees how that one goes.

I wouldn't ask her any more, let her come to you if she wants to get in touch or set up another date.

tomgaa

rather than text her a see if shes found time for me monday, **** it should i just ring her, ask her out and if she says no then screw her after that?

no.panic neva.panic

tomgaa wrote: »

rather than text her a see if shes found time for me monday, **** it should i just ring her, ask her out and if she says no then screw her after that?

Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Silent Runner

This seems to happen a lot! I'm on the online dating scene myself, had lots of first dates but never had a second yet. One or two of them seemed destined to materialise to a second date like yours. I'd really keep trying to get out and meet new people even if there was a second date on the horizon. I think online dating can be very tricky, there's so much factors at play that you shouldn't get your hopes up.

Not really offering any great advice but I'd definitely get back to her and get her to let you know if she wants to meet again and leave it at that. Best of luck with it, I know how you feel!!

strobe

Honestly I think the best thing to do, is after a date, express your interest in another one, if you try and arrange one and they are too busy, or their car spontaneously combusted or something, ask them to get back to you to arrange something when they are free, and then move on with your life, date other people etc, and forget all about them. If they get back to you and suggest meeting up Saturday for drinks or whatever then great. But work on the assumption they've been abducted by aliens and you'll never see them again. Never chase anyone. There's 3.5 billion women in the world.

tomgaa

Just to let you guys know that I got her on a second date 😂..... Went just as well as the first! So hope to take her out properly to dinner Saturday night