Bad reaction to breakup

Spencer Winterbotham

I met a girl on Tinder a while back, we were seeing each other for bit. Not long maybe two months and not very regularly.

She became very demanding incredibly quickly and threatened to end the romance unless I spent more time with her/gave her more attention. I took this as an opportunity to end things and confirmed I was too busy to spend as much as with her as she needs and I agreed we we should breakup. I caller her bluff I guess. She agreed it was for the best.

Anyway, I was not 10mins out of her house when the text messages started. I was driving so couldn't answer. The tone was I should return to her place immediately. I declined. Then the phone calls started. I told her I said everything i needed to say and she should move on...

Then.... over the next few days I received a barrage of text messages demanding to know how many other people i was sleeping with (none), questioning my sexual health (its fine)... etc...

All her Facebook posts were some childish quotes about breakups. Absolute nonsense. So I unfriended her on FB and blocked her on Whatsapp.

Then... a few nights later at around midnight (I was fast asleep in bed) she called to my house unannounced (she lives 50km away and does not drive). Barges in and demands all these answers... Where is she? (Who), Why did we break up? Unbelievable. She said I needed to listen to what she had to say. I said it was over and she needed to move on. I had physically remove her from house. (not aggressively, more like a parent dragging a reluctant child to bed).

Then... a few days later I start getting texts from her friend saying she was sorry blah blah blah... I said I just wanted to be left alone.

Then... I stated getting friend requests from obviously fake FB profiles she had set up.

Then... this morning I got a match on Tinder. I was suspicious because the girl in the picture was very attractive and once the match was made she started texting straight away. This rarely happens. The picture was very similar to her's in style, black and white and there was only one pic... the distance away was exactly the same distance away as her house is... obscure spot in the country. The girl (her) started asking me had I gone on any tinder dates before, what happen? Why was I not still seeing this girl? Absolute fruitcake.

I told her if she contacted me agin I would call the police and get her done for harassment.

This is not some teenager. She is in her 30s and works as a fecking physiologist!! I will seriously question that profession forever more after this sh*t...

What the hell can I do here? We were together for only a couple of months and she has completely lost the plot.

Stheno

Go to the guards and make a complaint

LegacyUser

Yeah go to the guards, a visit from them will sort her out. Jaysus you dodged a bullet there lad.

December2012

Go to your local Garda Station. Report it and get some advice from them. This is harassment and they can help stop it.

Spencer Winterbotham

Yea seriously dodged a bullet alright.

There were a few warning signs but I wasn't expecting this. Can't imagine what would have happened if it was dragged out any longer.

retro:electro

Jesus! What a fruit cake! She is unhinged to put it mildly. Ya you should definitely make it your business to make a complaint to the guards, can't do any harm. You've handled the situation very well thus far.

FluffyAngel

first thing you should do is logs texts ,calls ,and vists in a date order
then approach gardai and explain how diffcult its being

theres a gap in the law re harresment and yoiu need to show it as above before they consider a case

but they are so welcoming and understanding (gardai)
and will approach it from words

Snoutface

Her madness actually made me laugh out loud. I wonder how much further she would go? You've handled it well so far though. I guess the others are right the only option you have is police if she continues. Good luck.

Stavro Mueller

Seeing as she's a psychologist, a visit from the Boys in Blue might bring her to her senses pretty quickly. She'd be ruined professionally if her unhinged behaviour made it out into the public domain.

zeffabelli

Stavro Mueller wrote: »

Seeing as she's a psychologist, a visit from the Boys in Blue might bring her to her senses pretty quickly. She'd be ruined professionally if her unhinged behaviour made it out into the public domain.

He said she's a physiologist.

Her career would be ruined if he can prove it, otherwise she can claim slander, (even if it is true) because without that, it's just hearsay.

Op I think you should make it clear in formal writing that you have requested she stop.

If you start getting law enforcement involved unless it's written down it never happened. They may just view this as lovers tiff and blow it off... Heck they don't even like getting involved in domestic violence so stung girlfriend...

This sounds like such a nuisance. How long has it been going on for? A few weeks? Do you think it will die down?

coolbeans

Stavro Mueller wrote: »

Seeing as she's a psychologist, a visit from the Boys in Blue might bring her to her senses pretty quickly. She'd be ruined professionally if her unhinged behaviour made it out into the public domain.

To be fair the OP said physiologist not psychologist. There's a difference and it's relevant to this discussion.

Gongoozler

I've no idea what a physiologist is meant to be, a physiotherapist?

Anyway yeah, I'd suggest getting onto the guards about her behaviour before it escalates to something worse.

Stavro Mueller

Ok I read this on a phone so maybe I need glasses...

Anyway OP I hope this harassment stops. I've seen stalker cases go to court though they're usually much worse than this. Log everything too.

Spencer Winterbotham

My apologies she is a phycologist not physiologist.

The situation has escalated.

So I received a 4000 word FB message yesterday from her telling me that she works with very mentally ill people (ironic) who are often suicidal. She cannot concentrate in work and give these people the attention they need and this is my fault because of not agreeing to see her. She has said if one of her patients kills themselves because of her negligence then it is on me. I just can't believe this ****.

So far I have blocked her on FB, WhatsApp, and my iPhone. She has my mobile work number which is on a Blackberry Phone so I can't block that so had to turn it off for the day as I was receiving call after call.

I really just can't believe this. What must she be thinking? That i'm suddenly going to come round and call to her house and fall back into her arms and live happily ever after??

I told her I would go to the police and she keeps going. To be honest I am treating it as a bit of a nuisance at the moment and have not gone to the police as I don't want to mess up her life. If her professional colleagues knew she was behaving like this she would be finished. But if she tries to contact my work then I'll defo go to the cops.

The other problem is this is not happening in Ireland. I am working in European county and I don't speak the language so its not so easy to reach out.

I just find it incredible that a seemly normal person has become so unhinged. After being together for only 2 months!!

Jesus wept.

zeffabelli

Spencer Winterbotham wrote: »

My apologies she is a phycologist not physiologist.

The situation has escalated.

So I received a 4000 word FB message yesterday from her telling me that she works with very mentally ill people (ironic) who are often suicidal. She cannot concentrate in work and give these people the attention they need and this is my fault because of not agreeing to see her. She has said if one of her patients kills themselves because of her negligence then it is on me. I just can't believe this ****.

So far I have blocked her on FB, WhatsApp, and my iPhone. She has my mobile work number which is on a Blackberry Phone so I can't block that so had to turn it off for the day as I was receiving call after call.

I really just can't believe this. What must she be thinking? That i'm suddenly going to come round and call to her house and fall back into her arms and live happily ever after??

I told her I would go to the police and she keeps going. To be honest I am treating it as a bit of a nuisance at the moment and have not gone to the police as I don't want to mess up her life. If her professional colleagues knew she was behaving like this she would be finished. But if she tries to contact my work then I'll defo go to the cops.

The other problem is this is not happening in Ireland. I am working in European county and I don't speak the language so its not so easy to reach out.

I just find it incredible that a seemly normal person has become so unhinged. After being together for only 2 months!!

Jesus wept.

Oh Wow. I hope you are taking no heed of this.

I'd be tempted to call her superiors and show them that....say you are concerned. Is she writing to you in English?

Are their potentially cultural clashes going on here..... if you don't mind saying what country you are in?

Let me think on that... are you certain she is a psychologist? Absolutely certain of that?

Stavro Mueller

I don't think you have any other option but to go to the police. She knows you're not going to go so she's continuing on as if nothing was said. If she is warned by them it might be enough to make her stop and it need not ever go anywhere near the court. If you're struggling on the language front I wonder would it be helpful to contact the Irish embassy. Already she is impinging on your work life because she is ringing you on the blackberry and you've had to turn that off... She's not going to ring you in work because that involves other people.

Seriously, you need to go to the police. Keep all the evidence. She's not cooling off in any way. She could do you some real damage. Not just physically or to your property but to your reputation.

Stheno

You really need to make a complaint to the police she sounds seriously unhinged

December2012

Contact the Irish Embassy where you are. You definitely need some police advice.