So frustrated, I just want to give up!

tradhead

Hi everyone,

Technically I've been learning to drive for just over a year now. I was out of work for a few months last year and thought it would be a good idea to get the 12 lessons out of the way, which I did. This turned out to be a huge mistake because I didn't have access to a car in between lessons to practise, so a certain amount of what I had learned one week was forgotten by the next lesson.

A few months passed, and my boyfriend was able to put me on his insurance so we started going out fairly infrequently to practise (as a lot of the time it ended in an argument!)

We hadn't gone out for 3-4 months since Christmas since his NcT was out of date (and we kept ending up arguing every time we went out!!) so just recently I got a voucher for 3 lessons with a new instructor, and we've gone practising twice since. The first time was great, and he was really happy with how I'd come on, but we went out again last night and I just kept making so many stupid mistakes that I ended up in tears from just pure frustration. I feel like I'm never going to be test-ready at this stage, and it's really getting me down.

Has anyone else felt like this, and if so what did you do to get over the hump?

TL; DR I've been learning to drive for a year and feel like I'm getting nowhere- help!

beauf

You would be better building up a fund and dong as many lessons/driving as close together as you can. Like many things, its much easier to learn, doing it intensively. Spreading it out like you are doing makes it much harder. You forget things and you lose the muscle and reflex memory of certain actions.

You might be better off not doing it in the meanwhile as its just putting you off.

cantdecide

To add to the above, it's important to understand that the knowledge is going in but if takes a while for it all to add up together. When you go out for a lesson for an hour after going cold it takes a half hour to warm back up again and only the following half hour will be of any additional value to you. If you set some parameters for yourself that you will do something like two lessons a week for the first period of time you'll start to see that it all has a cumulative effect before too long.

And yes, virtually everyone feels exactly like you do now at some point Persistence and self forgiveness is the key. Just keep on trucking. Even stalling and re-starting is part of the learning process.

tradhead

Thanks guys.

I suppose I was hoping I wouldn't have to shell out for a load of lessons again but it looks like that's what I'll have to do. In the meantime I'm going to see if I can go on my mam's insurance for a week and just ferry her around everywhere, to get a proper bit of practise in as I'm just recently out of work as well so it'll give me something to do!

Thanks again for the encouragement. I'm going to go home now for a full weekend of hill-starts on the very steep driveway and non-stop reversing around the house!

beauf

You just have to do it as much as possible. It can take a lot of time to get it. But you've loads of time.

Also it's hard to teach someone to drive. I'd say most people don't have the patience. So don't be too hard on people trying to help.

Craftylee

Best advice I can give - until you're pretty confident driving don't go out with a friend / family member. All is does it turn into a argument and it can put you off driving for life. I did 1 lesson per week and it was fine, but if you find yourself slipping between lessons purhaps do 2, or 3 lessons per week.

kerry4sam

tradhead wrote: »

Thanks guys.

I suppose I was hoping I wouldn't have to shell out for a load of lessons again but it looks like that's what I'll have to do. In the meantime I'm going to see if I can go on my mam's insurance for a week and just ferry her around everywhere, to get a proper bit of practise in as I'm just recently out of work as well so it'll give me something to do!

Thanks again for the encouragement. I'm going to go home now for a full weekend of hill-starts on the very steep driveway and non-stop reversing around the house!

Give yourself a break. Go easy on yourself, sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself.
I've said it to someone else via pm before, look on those deal-sites as very often driving instructors will post offers on there at a fraction of the cost of their normal hourly lessons <- great value; more practice for you

Driving can be difficult. Driving can test you in ways nothing else can. Even in terms of your focus; anticipation; forward-thinking; trying to guage other road-users; remaining confident <- driving can be tough mentally & draining on anyone so be more patient with yourself.
^^^ look out for those offers and practice. There is no time-frame for anyone when they feel ready for the test; when they pass the test; when they feel in complete control on taking to the roads.

Don't give up. Just give yourself a break.
Stay Safe out there,
kerry4sam

Redser87

I had the most fantastic instructor and very patient parents who put me on their insurance (1.4l Ford Focus, great car to practice in) - and even still I still felt very stressed at the beginning stages of learning to drive. I remember some sessions where I would be trying my very best but some idiot would beep at me for something minor (and with the L plates up) and it would get me into a right state.
I now LOVE it. I love getting into my car and setting off, love a challenging road where I have to think through my manoeuvres, love dropping people home from events, am actually really happy not drinking at a meal or a night out so that I can drive instead. But it is a hard thing to learn and with the N plates up I am still improving a bit every time I go out, and being behind the wheel is a big responsibility. You are definitely not the first learner to feel like this. Best advice I got - specifically for the test, but I think it applies to driving generally - just think about the next 100m. Is there a light up ahead, a cyclist, an elderly person crossing? - and deal with that. Don't be getting stressed thinking about the roundabout 1km away, and definitely don't dwell on mistakes you made 2km ago.

colosus1908

This happened to me sometimes ago, my dad was my instructor then. All my siblings got it first try, but mine was different. I had to switch instructor to our youngest and she did me a great job.
Maybe what you need is a more friendly hand, maybe a close friend or family.