How to get over things/people

LegacyUser

Hi. I have this problem, it's not just to do with my ex but he is a really irritating example of it. I have major difficultly moving on and getting over things. My ex treated me well during our relationship and despite his flaws is a nice guy. But I'm so angry and upset about our breakup which was 9 months ago. Now, don't get my wrong,I'm obviously not still sitting around crying about it but I still spend much more time than I would like to thinking about him and it's almost always followed by upset or rage. I'm not friends with him on fb anymore and no longer contact each other but when a mutual friend mentions him or uploads a picture of him, my stomach knots and I feel like I want to punch something.

I've always had problems moving on from both relationships and arguments so what I really want is advice on how to do that. People always say "move on, forgive, let it go, forget it." I would genuinely love to be able to do that but I've absolutely zero idea how too. Once I went on 4 dates with a guy before he stopped contacting me, I was literally still crying about it on a regular basis almost 2 months later (though to be fair, I was only 19).

Basically, I just want to know how to get over things? How to forgive and forget...

Jasper_

Get off Facebook. Seriously.

Is there any other way you will see him or see a pic of him if your not on fb? If not, deactivate your account for a while. It will help you, trust me.

You sound like a gentle sensitive soul, and there is nothing wrong with that in the slightest. There are no magic words that any stranger here can give you that will help you learn to get over him/things any better, its just part and parcel of life's journey and we all deal with it in different ways. 9 months isn't that long in the grand scheme of things though, you will be fine.

I saw a poster a while back that really struck a chord with me for some reason (I, like you am fairly sensitive, but normally dismiss cheesy posters like this).

It said: "Don't look back, you're not going that way". Maybe take a few minutes to dwell on this next time you start remembering people.

LadyAthame

Remove reminders from your life. And welcome in new passions and concentrate on you DO YOU. The best advice anyone ever gave me was BE YOU DO YOU. Focus on yourself. Plan new things etc.

catonthewire

Jasper_ wrote: »

Get off Facebook. Seriously.

Is there any other way you will see him or see a pic of him if your not on fb? If not, deactivate your account for a while. It will help you, trust me.

You sound like a gentle sensitive soul, and there is nothing wrong with that in the slightest. There are no magic words that any stranger here can give you that will help you learn to get over him/things any better, its just part and parcel of life's journey and we all deal with it in different ways. 9 months isn't that long in the grand scheme of things though, you will be fine.

I saw a poster a while back that really struck a chord with me for some reason (I, like you am fairly sensitive, but normally dismiss cheesy posters like this).

It said: "Don't look back, you're not going that way". Maybe take a few minutes to dwell on this next time you start remembering people.

Fantastic advice!!!!

Love the quote, Don't look back ect....

OP, you won't go wrong thinking like this, life really is too short to dwell on the past, everyone gets pangs of remembering , remembering lost relationships , arguments ect...
These really help us grow and eventualy shape our future, but the knack is to leave unwanted baggage behind, be kind to yourself, let the bad times go..
There are tons of books available on the subject, some of them are wonderful, but seriously OP, Jaspers post sums most of them up....
Good luck for the future ...

kjl

I am 2.5 year post splitting with someone and it still haunts me. Sometimes when a relationship ends with unfinished business it's very hard to move on.

The good news is I think I only think about it once every 2 weeks now so time does heal all wounds.

Don't worry, you will meet someone new and probably forget all about him.

Mahogany

Unfollow him on Facebook. You don't have to unfriend him and you won't see any of his posts.

I'd suggest unfollowing his friends aswell.