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Sex Issue Girlfriend, Don't know what to do

  • 24-04-2015 5:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    It feels weird posting this on here but I have a bit of a sensitive issue with my girlfriend.

    We've been seeing each other since last November and everything is great.

    She is seven years younger than me and stunning and we get on great really but I'm having an issue with sex. I'm 30 shes 23.

    To my surprise I found out she was a virgin about 3 months after getting to know her, I was surprised because she really is a beautiful woman and just presumed that she would have had some previous experience with partners-- but it was obvious that she didn't.

    Anyways I just take things slowly with her we don't rush into anything, but shes stays in my place from time and spends the night.

    The problem is I haven't successfully been able to penetrate her, and have tried several time over the last two months- but still haven't been successful.

    I don't want to be graphic but she was (a more or less still easy really..) a virgin because I haven't successfully been able to fit it in...

    Its kind of embarrassing really-- shes quite petite in build and seemingly down there. She is just unbelievably tight and can get nervous and then tense up; which makes it impossible.

    I read somewhere that sometimes after a while the after virginity the area might not; I don't know how to put this.. basically that she might have to go see a gynecologist is what I was thinking.

    I really don't know how else to approach it, shes getting a little worried at this stage that something is not quite right- and its kind of sad to see her face after a failed attempt because she genuinely wants to make love.

    Like I've had a great sex life and have no problem having sex in the past. Its weird because she measured my erection to 8inchs, I've had previous long term relationships and a healthy sex life throughout my 20's. Like I don't think my penis is too big for her but I can't actually fit it in, and its killing any kind of a sex life with her.

    Like is this a legitimate thing that other ppl have experienced?? I don't mean to be crude and i'm not going to bring this issue up with friends as I don't want to talk about my gf's vagina to my buddies.

    Any feedback would be nice. as its becoming more of an issue as time goes on. thanks


Comments

  • #2
    MrWalsh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    Listen, babies come out of there so penis size isn't the issue!

    What's probably going on is an common problem for women called vaginismus. Obviously a doctor will be able to confirm that but chances are that's what it is.

    She should talk to her GP, it's a very common issue.


  • #3
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Sounds possibly like vaginismus. It's not massively uncommon. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus

    Yeah she should pop along to a gyno and see if there is anything physical going on.


  • #4
    Aseth
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 423 ✭✭Aseth


    Or it's just all nerves. You both might be too set on having sex. She gets nervous because maybe she is afraid it might hurt, also that yet again it will end up a failure. Maybe istead concentrate on pleasing her, on her being relaxed and not thinking about what's coming next.


  • #5
    Slicemeister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,526 ✭✭✭Slicemeister


    Have ye tried oral sex OP? All stimulants tried? Porn, romance, good conversation, S&M whatever. My last resort would be a visit to a GP for clinical diagnosis tbh.


  • #6
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,573 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    It may be as others have said, vaginismus. However it may just be nerves or bad timing. Maybe you've already tried this but you need to concentrate a lot of time on her beforehand making sure she is relaxed, comfortable, turned on and as naturally lubricated (or with some help) as is possible. Let her tell you when she is ready for you to try.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    ya like she does stimulated. I think its a bit of both.

    Like she gets wet and stimulated but she tenses up. And the couple of times i've tried it she has bled a fair bit. shes afraid that she'll bleed again and because i've tried the foreplay approach which she likes but even with the hand in there I could barely fit two fingers in there-- again I don't mean to be crude like..

    Like I've thought to myself how in the hell is she so narrow and small like a baby is supposed to fit in there, but it is a sensitive issue and I'm happy out with her either way; i'm not mad for sex as such i'm 30 and I can't say my libido is the same as being in my early twenties for some reason- but shes fairly attractive so I'd have no problem whenever we can get over this.

    I do think she may have to go to a gynecologist though (though thats her call) as she'd be a bit shy about going to Dr's but I don't think I can solve her issue.

    Will keep trying though..


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