Intense Fear/Derealisation/Depersonalisation from MDMA use

Mahogany

Hi all,

About 3 weeks ago today I took a lot of MDMA and currently paying the price. Big time.

Monday night was the start of it, I had a really intense panic attack which lasted about an hour and i experienced that I wasnt myself and just intense fear.

Havent been the same since, since Monday have felt like a different person and really intense Fear,Depression and Anxiety, been shaking non stop since monday.

Feels like I'm having a constant panic attack, also thoughts of "This is never going to go away" is probably the worst. Please help me.

Penny Tration

You need to go to a doctor. There's really very little else I can advise.

Mahogany

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

You need to go to a doctor. There's really very little else I can advise.

I have been, was sent to a Psychiatric ward and prescribed Quetiapine.

Mahogany

I don't wan to bother anyone but I seriously need some advice.

jimmyRotator

Mahogany wrote: »

I have been, was sent to a Psychiatric ward and prescribed Quetiapine.

Did the Seroquel not help ?

Mahogany

jimmyRotator wrote: »

Did the Seroquel not help ?

Have only taken it once so far.

I just want to know if there's anyone out there who is familiar with this situation.

jimmyRotator

I am, but any advice would be considered medical/against the rules here.

You should take your Seroquel medication as prescribed and ride it out.

This will pass, you will not die from this. Relax.

LegacyUser

I had a similar experience a few years ago after taking a lot of MDMA & ketamine. It brought a lot of repressed anxiety to the surface. It took a good few weeks for myself to settle down and stop freaking out that I had done some long term damage to myself.

You need to relax. the fact that you are panicking is making your panick worse. Take what has been subscribed by the doctor and see how you feel in a few weeks. Maybe you have some underlying anxiety that this has triggered?

BTW, I am completely fine now and very happy. I dont suffer any anxiety attacks and everything in life seems normal :-)

It will pass you just need to try and relax

Best of luck

ScumLord

MDMA does cause your brain to make a major dump of serotonin along with some other important neurotransmitters. Many people experience a low following using the drug because their brains simply doesn't have much serotonin to pump out. This should mostly correct itself within a week or two.

It could be that your brain is just taking longer to repair itself, maybe you had particularly low levels to begin with (this could have meant depression leading up to taking the drug). If you had depression leading up to taking the drug and you're serotonin stores are depleted you may have had a chemical imbalance to begin with. That would need treatment as there are drugs that can bring those levels up to something more normal.

It could be that you're just freaked out by the fact you used drugs and are obsessing over the long term implications. Consider some way of mellowing your mind like exercise, yoga, meditation.. All these healthy lifestyle options can really help even if it's just a placebo effect of believing you're doing good things for your health.

It could also be that the MDMA was mixed with something else that's causing these longer effects. The problem with that would be that the body is pretty good at getting rid of toxins and chemicals. The MDMA and whatever may have been in it is gone out of your body, so it's unlikely that your body is still fighting the influence of whatever chemicals might have been in the pill.


You can talk to your doctor about reduced serotonin levels and ways of increasing them. The comedown from ecstasy shouldn't really last 3 weeks (although it might for some, everyones different), feeling sick and miserable is part of the comedown but what you're describing is much more intense.

You don't need to worry about the drug in your system though, it's gone by now, this seems more like a prolonged repair process. But really the only people who can help with are doctors.

strobe

It passes. Relax. You'll be fine. Just batten down the hatches and wait it out. Try to do as many things you enjoy to take your mind off it while you're waiting for your neuro-chemistry to right itself. Shouldn't take too long. Be grand. Genuinely.

Mahogany

All I remember about the drug was that it was coloured brown and I took a LOT

ScumLord

Mahogany wrote: »

All I remember about the drug was that it was coloured brown and I took a LOT

Brown would imply it's really good and has a truck load of MDMA in it. One of those probably would have been enough for even an experienced MDMA user. Ya mad bastard.

Mahogany

ScumLord wrote: »

Brown would imply it's really good and has a truck load of MDMA in it. One of those probably would have been enough for even an experienced MDMA user. Ya mad bastard.

Yeah I'd say i wrapped around 3 bombs worth into one.

circadian

Sounds like you just had a massive serotonin dump.

Best thing to do besides seeing the doctor is to make sure you have a nice clean and healthy diet, get all the nutrients you need to replenish the serotonin. Bananas are an excellent source of 5-htp. One a day might help you along.

I would not recommend medicating without doctors advice but keeping an eye on what you est will helpm

ScumLord

Mahogany wrote: »

Yeah I'd say i wrapped around 3 bombs worth into one.

Ah, so you where taking pure MDMA crystal? You just over done it in a big way, you'll be fine. You probably pushed your body past it's limits, I'd say you where bouncing around the place. It would be a bit like taking part in a triathlon except you did no training and your body would have never let you do it if you weren't on drugs. Take it easy for a while, go on a big health kick, eat good food and you'll be back to normal soon enough.

Mahogany

ScumLord wrote: »

Ah, so you where taking pure MDMA crystal? You just over done it in a big way, you'll be fine. You probably pushed your body past it's limits, I'd say you where bouncing around the place. It would be a bit like taking part in a triathlon except you did no training and your body would have never let you do it if you weren't on drugs. Take it easy for a while, go on a big health kick, eat good food and you'll be back to normal soon enough.

No real come down, feeling the bad effects after 3 weeks, this normal?

dafunk

Ah pet...you'll be alright soon enough. I've been there with the anxiety. ..its not pleasant and I haven't learned how to sort it out but regarding the drugs you've depleted your serotonin levels probably. I would suggest exercise, plenty of sleep, eat healthily and plenty of food and try to get as much vitamin D and sunlight as you can.
Also, go back to the doctor in a few days if you're not feeling better and be completely honest with them about what you did.

Yes, it's probably normal I would think...that's why drugs aren't a good idea.

Remember how you feel right now the next time you're tempted. It's not worth it.

Mahogany

dafunk wrote: »

Ah pet...you'll be alright soon enough. I've been there with the anxiety. ..its not pleasant and I haven't learned how to sort it out but regarding the drugs you've depleted your serotonin levels probably. I would suggest exercise, plenty of sleep, eat healthily and plenty of food and try to get as much vitamin D and sunlight as you can.
Also, go back to the doctor in a few days if you're not feeling better and be completely honest with them about what you did.

Yes, it's probably normal I would think...that's why drugs aren't a good idea.

Remember how you feel right now the next time you're tempted. It's not worth it.

Yeah I can safely say I'll never be doing drugs again lol

Even as I type I feel like I'm about to die or something, it's an absolute nightmare.

jimmyRotator

Spent a huge portion of my twenties feeling like you describe.

I'd say there was easily 50 separate episodes of universe-ending terror followed by total recovery a couple weeks later. Suicide-Tuesday much?

Had to throw in the towel for good though as eventually in life reality becomes more important, but goddamn that was great fun while it lasted

ScumLord

Mahogany wrote: »

No real come down, feeling the bad effects after 3 weeks, this normal?

3 weeks seems like a long time to me, but it's subjective. You put your body through a big shock. It's not just about serotonin levels either, all your organs were probably working over time and they'll all need time to repair. There's the brain chemical imbalance to repair, but like I said you were probably hyper active as well, so you pushed your body past it's limits like someone running a marathon would, your system is probably completely drained. If you were drinking alcohol on top of it there's that to deal with too.

So eat well, plenty of vitamins and proteins to help repair if that's not working go back to your doctor. Do be completely honest, it is all confidential.

charlietheminxx

It passes. I sort of accidentally took pure MDMA once (long story), I felt like muck for about a month afterwards. Don't withdraw from people, it's definitely worse when you're alone for any length of time. It does go away, try to just ride it out.

Mahogany

Correction. It was 2 weeks ago, my mistake.

Feeling a bit better today, isn't as intense and doesn't seem as hopeless

LadyAthame

Mahogany wrote: »

I don't wan to bother anyone but I seriously need some advice.

We can't give medical advice which is what you really really need. Seek a doctor. Please

Don't feel ashamed they would have lots of people asking.

Do you have any prior medical conditions or issues with mental illness?

Glad you feel better but still.

nozipcode

fadfasdfa wrote: »

I had a similar experience a few years ago after taking a lot of MDMA & ketamine. It brought a lot of repressed anxiety to the surface. It took a good few weeks for myself to settle down and stop freaking out that I had done some long term damage to myself.

How long after taking the MDMA and Ketamine did you start to feel the repressed anxiety?

The OP states it was 3 weeks since he took MDMA. I really doubt the issue is the MDMA, OP. Have you any other things going on that may have triggered it?

All I'm getting at is you may be looking for the answers in the wrong place.

nozipcode

Mahogany wrote: »

Yeah I'd say i wrapped around 3 bombs worth into one.

You need to relax, Mahogany. You're still here, so while you may have overdosed to an extent, it's really not a big deal. Anyway, a 'bomb' is not an accurate method of measuring the quantity you took. Can you estimate in grams/milligrams?

Not that it really matters. As other said, just ride it out. You've been prescribed a solution (hopefully) so let it do it's job and YOU WILL BE FINE.

EDIT - Glad to hear you're doing better. Don't do drugs Mmmkay?

Mahogany

nozipcode wrote: »

You need to relax, Mahogany. You're still here, so while you may have overdosed to an extent, it's really not a big deal. Anyway, a 'bomb' is not an accurate method of measuring the quantity you took. Can you estimate in grams/milligrams?

Not that it really matters. As other said, just ride it out. You've been prescribed a solution (hopefully) so let it do it's job and YOU WILL BE FINE.

EDIT - Glad to hear you're doing better. Don't do drugs Mmmkay?

I really can't tell all I can say is the bag was a gram and a half I had about a third of it

Mahogany

nozipcode wrote: »

How long after taking the MDMA and Ketamine did you start to feel the repressed anxiety?

The OP states it was 3 weeks since he took MDMA. I really doubt the issue is the MDMA, OP. Have you any other things going on that may have triggered it?

All I'm getting at is you may be looking for the answers in the wrong place.

Ah it definetly was though, and I made a mistake it was 2 weeks not 3

Mahogany

Ok as of now I'm freaking out again it just doesn't give me a break, I feel like I'm losing my mind or something.

strobe

Mahogany wrote: »

Ok as of now I'm freaking out again it just doesn't give me a break, I feel like I'm losing my mind or something.

Well yesterday you were feeling better.

Mahogany wrote: »

Correction. It was 2 weeks ago, my mistake.

Feeling a bit better today, isn't as intense and doesn't seem as hopeless

The thing about anxiety, is you were anxious after the mdma overload, and then you were anxious that you were anxious over it, and now you're getting anxious that you are still anxious.

But yesterday after peoples replies you were feeling better as you were less anxious about being anxious.

At this point it seems like your anxiety is based primarily on you feeling anxious.

You just need to chill and stop worrying that you are worrying.

Are you taking the meds your GP gave you? Maybe drop back and let him know you're still feeling a bit scatty.

But if you can just manage to remember how you felt yesterday when you were feeling better and realise that's going to gradually be more commonly how you feel that'll help a lot too.

ShowMeTheCash

Mahogany wrote: »

Ok as of now I'm freaking out again it just doesn't give me a break, I feel like I'm losing my mind or something.

Exact same thing happened to me a number of years ago and I had convinced myself I brained my damage..

So it can take a few weeks even months for you to level out but try and stay possitive.
When this was happening to me I went to my GP and talked about it...

One day I would be fine the next I would be doing something like making tea and randomly take or felt like I was going to take a panic attack, I also got bouts of depersonalization it also effected my sleep, at times I felt tired but as I was falling asleep i would wake heart racing and not be able to sleep after it...

Not going to lie it was horrible....

The MDMA is out of your system probably long ago, physically I am sure you are fine... What I was told was this.
An anxiety attack is your body's response to danger, however MDMA can cause your body to freak out, so your body has learned a new trick!
PTSD or Post Trumatic Stress Disorder can be accute, for a few weeks or months after a stressful event your body can essentially be getting waves or bouts of stress where it almost does this new trick it has just learned without warning...

Doc told me, do not avoid doing things, know that you will be fine no one has ever died from an anxiety attack try and do things to help you relax like some of the other posters have mentioned...

You will be fine, tell youself that... After a few months had past I was 100% again!

Mahogany

Physically I am almost 100% it's all mental with me. Like sometimes I feel like my family aren't my family stuff like that, it's actually terrifying and I wish it could all be over, I've learned my lesson!

mg1982

Mahogany wrote: »

Physically I am almost 100% it's all mental with me. Like sometimes I feel like my family aren't my family stuff like that, it's actually terrifying and I wish it could all be over, I've learned my lesson!

Spent two weeks in tenerife after my leaving cert. While I was there took mdma every night. Ever since I been having the same issues you been having, intense anxiety, depersonalisation, paranoia. It's hell so I know what your going through. I think for me it triggered off a mental disorder though but for most people these effects will wear away after a few months.

Toots

Mahogany wrote: »

Physically I am almost 100% it's all mental with me. Like sometimes I feel like my family aren't my family stuff like that, it's actually terrifying and I wish it could all be over, I've learned my lesson!

This is what the quetiapine will help with. It'll sort of take you down a bit so that you're calmer and not freaking out. Have you been taking it since the doc prescribed it?

Mahogany

Toots wrote: »

This is what the quetiapine will help with. It'll sort of take you down a bit so that you're calmer and not freaking out. Have you been taking it since the doc prescribed it?

Yeah I have been, might I add it's the lowest dose. As of now I'm not panicky but I'm still in some sort of dark hole.

ScumLord

Mahogany wrote: »

Yeah I have been, might I add it's the lowest dose.

As we've already seen you're not the best at judging drug dosage. :pac: Best leave it to the doctors judgement. You only need some help in speeding up the natural process so a low dose is probably fine. You just need to wait it out.

Mahogany

ScumLord wrote: »

As we've already seen you're not the best at judging drug dosage. :pac: Best leave it to the doctors judgement. You only need some help in speeding up the natural process so a low dose is probably fine. You just need to wait it out.

No I mean I've been prescribed with the 25mg Seroquel, the lowest strength.

Toots

Yeah, that is the lowest strength. It's generally prescribed as anti-psychotic and when it's given to people who suffer from psychosis they don't just horse them onto a 100+mg dose, they need to be weaned on to it so you'd start on 25mg, then 50 after a few weeks, etc. TBH, if they just started you on 100mg+ per day, you'd probably be too stoned to do anything.

25mg is the dose I'm on, and it's not for full on psychosis, it's more for when I start getting really anxious and freaking out about stuff, or if my mood is elevated, my doc told me to take it before bed, and it'll calm me down enough so that I can go asleep. I know people who are on much higher doses, but that is for severe psychosis and they couldn't go about their daily life without it.

Are you going to be on the quetiapine permanently, or is it just to take the edge off while things settle down? Stick with it, if you're not panicky it probably means that it's doing its job. I've just had a look at the leaflet in my pack, and it says "it may take several weeks before you start to feel better". That being said, if you're really feeling lousy, or very depressed, it's important that you visit your doctor.

Mahogany

Toots wrote: »

Yeah, that is the lowest strength. It's generally prescribed as anti-psychotic and when it's given to people who suffer from psychosis they don't just horse them onto a 100+mg dose, they need to be weaned on to it so you'd start on 25mg, then 50 after a few weeks, etc. TBH, if they just started you on 100mg+ per day, you'd probably be too stoned to do anything.

25mg is the dose I'm on, and it's not for full on psychosis, it's more for when I start getting really anxious and freaking out about stuff, or if my mood is elevated, my doc told me to take it before bed, and it'll calm me down enough so that I can go asleep. I know people who are on much higher doses, but that is for severe psychosis and they couldn't go about their daily life without it.

Are you going to be on the quetiapine permanently, or is it just to take the edge off while things settle down? Stick with it, if you're not panicky it probably means that it's doing its job. I've just had a look at the leaflet in my pack, and it says "it may take several weeks before you start to feel better". That being said, if you're really feeling lousy, or very depressed, it's important that you visit your doctor.

Was only given 7 for now.

mg1982

Mahogany wrote: »

Was only given 7 for now.

Have you got a follow up appointment with the doctor next week?

Mahogany

mg1982 wrote: »

Have you got a follow up appointment with the doctor next week?

No I don't but I will have to make one soon

Mahogany

I would like to thank everyone who has posted in this thread, your comments have really helped me along with this incredibly painful process.

If any of you need any advice or a helpful comment never hesitate to contact me, I am hoping to study Psychology so I have good listening skills and I never judge

I might add though I'm not out of this hole but it's certainly not as intense and seems to be improving daily.

I have a feeling it'll take a while but I've learned to accept that, a friend of mine took two weeks to recover from a bad experience with Weed, I'm not even at a week and a half yet so I presume it'll be longer then his.

retro:electro

Mahogany wrote: »

I would like to thank everyone who has posted in this thread, your comments have really helped me along with this incredibly painful process.

If any of you need any advice or a helpful comment never hesitate to contact me, I am hoping to study Psychology so I have good listening skills and I never judge

I might add though I'm not out of this hole but it's certainly not as intense and seems to be improving daily.

I have a feeling it'll take a while but I've learned to accept that, a friend of mine took two weeks to recover from a bad experience with Weed, I'm not even at a week and a half yet so I presume it'll be longer then his.

First it was 3 weeks, then 2, now not even a week and a half?!?

Mahogany

anna080 wrote: »

First it was 3 weeks, then 2, now not even a week and a half?!?

11 days after dropping it started.

A week and a half it's lasted now.

mg1982

Mahogany wrote: »

11 days after dropping it started.

A week and a half it's lasted now.

Well glad your feeling better anyway. When you feel dissociated time is hard to keep track of.