Little things we all have in common

evilberry

Inspired by George Carlin's amazing stand up on little things we share and we all have in common but rarely talk about it I wanted to start a thread here..

...what are the small things that we ALL have in common?

From me:

- when I talk to someone on the street and then we say goodbye I always walk in the opposite direction to them even if that means walking away from my destination just to avoid the awkward "dang we said goodbye already, so do I say 'hi' now or what, do I stay silent?" when we are standing next to each other on the red light.

- When someone asks me something I go "what?" automatically and then only answer the question

- somehow I am always hesitant before checking whether the stove is hot using my hand even if I know no one used it before me

- instead of going to the store I calculate quickly whether it's worth it and whether I really need it or I can live on whatever I have

- feeling peckish, go to the fridge, find nothing. Come back after 10 minutes, lower my standards, eat jam.

- when an awkward silent moment comes on lunchtime at work I feel obliged to ask someone from the group I know best as soon as they make any sort of movement - "are you ok?"


George Carlin:

The_Valeyard

Death, a minor inconvenience.

Junkyard Tom

Brown sauce.

MrWalsh

Good luck with the book!

BeerWolf

Junkyard Cat wrote: »

Brown sauce.

Absolute muck.

Junkyard Tom

BeerWolf wrote: »

Absolute muck.

See? Everyone has an opinion on brown sauce.

wp_rathead

I know I'm not alone in setting my alarm clock 10 mins early JUST so I can hit the snooze button

Um. I don't do any of those things.

endacl

A head?

FueledbyCoffee

An Arse

NotPayin4Water

Not paying for water.

folamh

The knowledge that we're all utterly alone in the universe.

Dj Stiggie

What's your deal, OP?

who the fug

BeerWolf wrote: »

Absolute muck.

Worst than muck pure s h i t e

Junkyard Cat wrote: »

See? Everyone has an opinion on brown sauce.

no everyone has an opinion on s h i t e

seamus

When you get the bus first thing in the morning and a colleague or acquaintance gets on, so you pretend to stare out the window obliviously in the hope that they won't see you and/or won't sit beside you.

uch

seamus wrote: »

When you get the bus first thing in the morning and a colleague or acquaintance gets on, so you pretend to stare out the window obliviously in the hope that they won't see you and/or won't sit beside you.

Pppfffftt, I do that with me Brothers and Sisters

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

If I'm going somewhere and realise I've taken a long way or should be on the other side of the street I always take out my phone and look at it and shake my head or something before I correct my route. Y'know, so strangers won't think 'ah look at that eejit, she was going the wrong way', they'll think 'that competent person must have just gotten a text from a friend or family member which has caused her to revise her perfectly fine plans.' :rolleyes:

endacl

NotPayin4Water wrote: »

Not paying for water.

I thought the big whinge is that you already pay for water?

endacl

folamh wrote: »

The knowledge that we're all utterly alone in the universe.

I get you. If it wasn't for the other 7 billion people here, I'd be utterly alone. Out of interest, which universe are you posting from? And who's with you to qualify the 'we're' bit. And to negate your post?

howamidifferent

Penis's....?

Rothko

We're all slowly dying

For the lads there's the classic "odd-step". Maybe you make it look like you're stepping over something on the ground or you've stopped to consider going another way. The purpose is the same though.

VandC

We're all unique

Massimo Cassagrande

seamus wrote: »

When you get the bus first thing in the morning and a colleague or acquaintance gets on, so you pretend to stare out the window obliviously in the hope that they won't see you and/or won't sit beside you.

The bus? No. Just No.

Loving it when someone lets you out at a busy junction, then getting all "blind" and starey straight aheady when you come to the next junction and don't want to let anyone out..

fussyonion

evilberry wrote: »

Inspired by George Carlin's amazing stand up on little things we share and we all have in common but rarely talk about it I wanted to start a thread here..

...what are the small things that we ALL have in common?

From me:

- when I talk to someone on the street and then we say goodbye I always walk in the opposite direction to them even if that means walking away from my destination just to avoid the awkward "dang we said goodbye already, so do I say 'hi' now or what, do I stay silent?" when we are standing next to each other on the red light.

- When someone asks me something I go "what?" automatically and then only answer the question

- somehow I am always hesitant before checking whether the stove is hot using my hand even if I know no one used it before me

- instead of going to the store I calculate quickly whether it's worth it and whether I really need it or I can live on whatever I have

- feeling peckish, go to the fridge, find nothing. Come back after 10 minutes, lower my standards, eat jam.

- when an awkward silent moment comes on lunchtime at work I feel obliged to ask someone from the group I know best as soon as they make any sort of movement - "are you ok?"


George Carlin:

I HATE people who do this.
Why do you do it?
Why say "What?" when you clearly heard me?

TheBeardedLady

I do a few of those things, OP but I'm just posting to thank you for that George Carlin video. Bill Hicks can kiss my ass to be honest - George Carlin did what he could only dream of doing - sticking it to The Man and being funny in the process. That video is fooking class.

TheBeardedLady

Have a quick glance at our poos before flushing and sometimes get a rush of pride for the heftier ones. We all do that, don't we!! :):)


(That wasn't a question, that was rhetoric - you've no choice but to nod and agree).




*Thumbleweed-arama City. Population: me*

Mister Vain

I miss George Carlin.

Mint Aero

Only irritating people do what you does OP.

MadDog76

Masturbation

LadyAthame

We all....stand ...together....

Have you ever sung in a choir???

Or done some mime group work...serious....mimic or mirror the person next you pr play games of trust ...where you fall back and let the partner catch you? And at that moment I tell my partner that's not a good idea you are much bigger than me...and I don't want you to fall.

Ever stand naked together tied up together until dawn??? No ??? ok...

Breaking boundaries and standing naked before one another....it's what I am all about ....when I'm horny.

I love you all boardsies......(within reason and my own boundaries)

You be nice to me I'll be nice to you. Promise ...just trust me...only don't ask me to catch you I have no upper body strength.:)

PLL

Eating takeaway / general unhealthy food when hungover.

Rosie Rant

Apologising for things that aren't our fault.

"Is the post office open today?"
"No, sorry."

Someone bumps into me :

"Sorry."
"Sorry.... "

Dozer Dave

10 fingers and 10 toes.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Not knowing when to go for a handshake or a polite hug
Saying more than one goodbye at the end of a phone call
Asking questions backwards eg
Instead of "do you want a cup of tea?" Saying "you don't want a cup of tea do you?" I hate myself a little each time I realise I do it

unjedilike

Hypnic jerks.

WoollyRedHat

Talking to ourselves when we think no one is watching.

Looking at our phones habitually as if something nefarious would happen if we didn't.

Feeling pedestrian road rage when stuck behind two very slow people who think the pavement was made for them to dawdle across.

Waving at someone that you think you know, only to realize it's not that person you thought you know but a complete randomer. Que awkwardness

Losing something that you had only one moment ago, only to later realize it was actually either on you this whole time or right in front of you and it somehow eluded your periphery vision for a short space of time..

Socks going missing reguarly and without explanation.

Feeling a sense of doom when walking past a puddle by the side of the road, wondering whether to dart across before it's too late, or put your trust into the kindness of strangers hoping they will politely avoid soaking you.

Being Irish- As soon as the road is clear, regardless of whether the man is red or green, to start walking.
Tourists here live by the Green Man as if he is their God. They shall not walk before him.

osarusan

Darrell Unsightly Beer wrote: »

If I'm going somewhere and realise I've taken a long way or should be on the other side of the street I always take out my phone and look at it and shake my head or something before I correct my route. Y'know, so strangers won't think 'ah look at that eejit, she was going the wrong way', they'll think 'that competent person must have just gotten a text from a friend or family member which has caused her to revise her perfectly fine plans.' :rolleyes:

I do much the same thing, but just to pause for a moment before continuing on my journey. Pretend I am checking a message or something. It is because I have just overtaken a girl with a nice arse and I want her to pass me back out so I can have another quick look.

Anybody else do this? Are you with me? Anybody?

_Whimsical_

If someone wakes you by phoning or coming to your door, no matter what unGodly hour, and they say "did I wake you?" you feel obliged to say "No no, I wasn't asleep..." , even though you have marks from pillow creases on your face,look stunned and are still obviously technically 70% asleep.

evilberry

fussyonion wrote: »

I HATE people who do this.
Why do you do it?
Why say "What?" when you clearly heard me?

What? I don't know...:pac:

fussyonion

evilberry wrote: »

What? I don't know...:pac:

:mad::mad:

ToddyDoody

We all have smelly toes and bellybuttons

Lyaiera

Darrell Unsightly Beer wrote: »

If I'm going somewhere and realise I've taken a long way or should be on the other side of the street I always take out my phone and look at it and shake my head or something before I correct my route. Y'know, so strangers won't think 'ah look at that eejit, she was going the wrong way', they'll think 'that competent person must have just gotten a text from a friend or family member which has caused her to revise her perfectly fine plans.' :rolleyes:

"Ah look at that eejit who took out their phone to change direction. I bet she didn't even get a text."

This is especially true if they did a big head shake.

Kiwi in IE

The only thing I could sort of relate to in the OP was the checking the fridge when hungry, only I don't lower my standards and eat jam, I keep coming back every half hour and checking again, hoping that something appetising will appear, whilst knowing full well that no one has been to the shops since I last checked. I keep repeating this until I get hungry enough to go and do the grocery shopping.