End of Dates are Awkward?

LegacyUser

Until only recently it had been a while since I'd been a part of the "dating scene." Lost my confidence in myself and was turning down anyone who asked me out because I didn't think anyone should like me or that I was likeable, that I'd disappoint them, etc. Counselling helped and now I've been on dates with a few men recently and while they were all nice I was never thinking I'd love to go out with them again. I guess they picked up on that or felt the same because we only ever did handshakes (!!!) or hugs at the end of the night and it all felt very awkward when we were standing there saying goodbye. There was one man who I wanted to kiss but I guess I panicked or felt awkward and that he didn't want to kiss me so we didn't.

I've a date with a man this week and it feels different with him. I'm already nervous about the end of the night though. We'll both be getting the bus as we're college students who can't drive and our bus stops will be far away from each other so at some point we'll just have to stop, say bye and split. I know I'm overthinking it but I'm just nervous about it. I'm thinking I might be rushing the goodbye usually on dates because I just go "okay. Nice to meet you. Bye." and then handshake/hug (he initates that) and walks away so I don't really give us a chance but I don't want that to happen with this guy. We're already friends so it could be awkward. But then again I don't want us to stand there awkwardly looking at each other for ages. Is the end of a date meant to be so awkward? Maybe it's me.

Any advice?

ColeTrain

awkward dater wrote: »

Until only recently it had been a while since I'd been a part of the "dating scene." Lost my confidence in myself and was turning down anyone who asked me out because I didn't think anyone should like me or that I was likeable, that I'd disappoint them, etc. Counselling helped and now I've been on dates with a few men recently and while they were all nice I was never thinking I'd love to go out with them again. I guess they picked up on that or felt the same because we only ever did handshakes (!!!) or hugs at the end of the night and it all felt very awkward when we were standing there saying goodbye. There was one man who I wanted to kiss but I guess I panicked or felt awkward and that he didn't want to kiss me so we didn't.

I've a date with a man this week and it feels different with him. I'm already nervous about the end of the night though. We'll both be getting the bus as we're college students who can't drive and our bus stops will be far away from each other so at some point we'll just have to stop, say bye and split. I know I'm overthinking it but I'm just nervous about it. I'm thinking I might be rushing the goodbye usually on dates because I just go "okay. Nice to meet you. Bye." and then handshake/hug (he initates that) and walks away so I don't really give us a chance but I don't want that to happen with this guy. We're already friends so it could be awkward. But then again I don't want us to stand there awkwardly looking at each other for ages. Is the end of a date meant to be so awkward? Maybe it's me.

Any advice?

You are definitely over thinking this.

If you already know the guy and you like him, just initiate things yourself and give him a hug?

ash23

The end of a date doesn't mean the end of things.

I've been on dates and they've always ended with a quick peck on the cheek or a hug. And the next stage usually comes via a followup text saying " had a lovely time/was lovely to meet you/shall we meet again sometime?".

Sometimes I've said no, sometimes yes. Sometimes I've sent the text asking for another date and been told no, sometimes yes.
It's impossible to tell from the end of a date what the intention is. The follow up is more important than the goodbye. You could wear the face off a date at the end and never hear from them again.

If you're in public then a hug and a kiss on the cheek are perfectly acceptable. If you're interested then the next day send a text or message and thank them for a lovely evening and suggest a second date.

Stavro Mueller

A quick hug would do fine. It's the end of dates where you haven't clicked that are the awkward ones to end. Or at least that's what I used to find!

davmol

A quick hug will do the job unless you get teh signals and want to take it futher

Teyla Emmagan

Play it by ear OP. If you like them a quick kiss (or a longer one) will feel natural. If you haven't clicked then don't feel bad about a pat on the arm. As long as no one ends up hanging onto the other person's leg and sobbing in the middle of Grafton St then you haven't gone wrong!