I don't even know

LegacyUser

I guess I'm here to release my thoughts because I feel my friends have enough problems and also my family is very stressed at the moment, it doesn't help that most of them are away anyways. I started getting this feeling of being lost or confused when my family announced that my dad was going to work in his family's company, which is in South Africa. Sadly we are poor and so we have not been there to visit him, but he has managed to come here every 6 or so months. When my dad got the job, they promised we would be given a home and we could move there, but my dad moved there last year and none of this has happened or even come close to happening, yet my family still expects it to happen sometime by the end of this year. I often ask my mom where do you think we will be in the next few months and her reply is the same, she doesn't know. My family is very close and open, for instance I know our financial situation quite well, understanding my parents are in a lot of debt, (they're seeking insolvency) and my mother encourages us to speak about any and all of our problems as well as her speaking of any problems she has, so I don't think they are keeping anything from me. This would be my first and main issue that is constantly bugging my mind, where will I be next year? What do I say to my friends? What will it be like in South Africa? What does my future look like? For all of my friends, they don't have to worry about this, because they are either moving away by their own choice or staying here and finishing school life. Basically, they all have a somewhat stable life.

This whole moving away thing has prevented me from getting as close as I want with some of the friends that I really like, something which I never had the opportunity to do when I was younger and has taken me a long time to finally get to this point. I find it really saddening that I have to leave my settled life here and go to a place I don't know, I get an aching feeling whenever I think about moving, because it just doesn't seem right. I know that if I move, that would probably be my last time in Ireland, maybe even Europe for a very long time, and it would be difficult for me to return.

I just want to be living a normal life, like my friends and know that I will be okay.

orthsquel

You're facing uncertainty over a circumstance that is outside of your own control. I think you should have a chat with you mum about what you're feeling, that you're feeling uncertain about it all. She herself probably can't give you much re-assurance about when you are moving, if that is still even on, probably because there's a lot of other things that need sorting out both here and in South Africa that have to be done before you all can go. And maybe neither of your parents thought it would take this long, or be perhaps as complicated as they have found it to be.

I don't think you should be having your life hanging in suspension. You should just continue on as normal, living your life, getting close to people, and making plans for the future with LC as though you are staying here, until such a time comes when it is clearer if there is a move to South Africa or not at which time you can address the issue of moving, etc. But you should plan your life as though you are staying here for LC and going to college as normal until there actually is a different scenario to plan for, and even then you may have to discuss with your parents what your options are and have your say about moving if you are then an adult and what you want to do.

I don't think you should be worrying about leaving what you have behind until both your parents can provide absolute certainty that you are indeed moving.

Even if you did move as a teen or an adult, that doesn't necessarily mean it will be your last ever, ever time in Ireland or in Europe. You might have holidays back here, or even make your own choices about moving back. Even if all you went for was a year, you'd still re-integrate back although you might have matured through the process in the meantime.

Wompa1

What age are you? If you're over 18, maybe this is your chance to start paving your own future. You don't necessarily need to go with your family, if you don't want to