Unreliable Reference

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Hope someone can offer advice as I am going grey with stress here. I'm finding it extremely difficult to find work at the moment so I'm suffering with major anxiety over this. I applied for a secure position last year that takes a long time to process. It's coming to final stages for me now; I passed the interviews and tests so now all that's left is checking references (which is still maybe a few weeks away).

The thing is, I'm no longer certain about the reliability of one person I used as a reference. The others will give glowing reviews of me, they have confirmed as much. But there is no guarantee as to which people my potential new employers will call from the short list I gave them.

Would it seem odd if I called my potential new employers and asked to remove one of my references from the list? Or should I let this years worth of processing hang in the balance on a gamble that this person wont be called/will do right by me in the end?

The idea that I would get this job has been all that has been keeping me and my family sane throughout this process. My whole life has been on hold and I've been on anxiety medication due to the stress of trying to make ends meet. I really want to ensure that I get this because I don't know where to go if I don't.

Thank you for any advice you have to offer.

davo10

Do not call to withdraw a referee, alarm bells will start ringing very loudly. Why did you put this referee down in the first place and what has changed?

Mrs OBumble

Unless you can say honestly something like "I'm sorry, Mr X has had a <<insert traumatic personal event>> since I gave his name, can I suggest not bothering him."

Which can happen when it's drawn-out recruitment process.

LegacyUser

davo10 wrote: »

Do not call to withdraw a referee, alarm bells will start ringing very loudly. Why did you put this referee down in the first place and what has changed?

Thank for the advice. Initially she was happy to be a referee but over the last year (the process has taken almost a year now) I fell out of contact with her. When I contacted her recently to remind her, she had changed her mind about providing one.

I'm at my wits end here. I suppose it also would seem dodgy if I asked to swap her name out for a different reference that I have as well? I can't think of any legitimate reason to give the employers for removing her as she just seems to changed her mind of what she had thought of me.

_Brian

I don see there is anything you can do now only sweat it out.
Chances are that person won't give a bad reference, at worst a neutral one. I've found over time that very, very few people give a bad reference. I've done it but it seems I'm very much in the minority.

LegacyUser

_Brian wrote: »

I don see there is anything you can do now only sweat it out.
Chances are that person won't give a bad reference, at worst a neutral one. I've found over time that very, very few people give a bad reference. I've done it but it seems I'm very much in the minority.

I've been told by folks in recruitment that it's very unprofessional to give a bad reference, so most employers who don't want to say anything nice say "I would rather not give any reference for that particular employee" or something to that effect.

But that sentence alone may as well be the death knoll anyway because the potential employer understands what's between the lines anyway.


Thanks for everyone's input. Suppose I'm in a helpless position and will just have to cross my fingers.

_Brian

Worrying wrote: »

I've been told by folks in recruitment that it's very unprofessional to give a bad reference, so most employers who don't want to say anything nice say "I would rather not give any reference for that particular employee" or something to that effect.

But that sentence alone may as well be the death knoll anyway because the potential employer understands what's between the lines anyway.


Thanks for everyone's input. Suppose I'm in a helpless position and will just have to cross my fingers.

Ha.
It's worse to say nothing just because your offloading some trouble employee.
I've never written it but on the phone admitted employees have had issues with tardiness or whatever.
Call it as it is. Truth is ok.

skallywag

Most definitely do not ask for that particular reference to be removed.

I find it extremely unreasonable of this person to have first agreed to and then subsequently renege on the reference. Did she give you any reason as to why?

I myself would never give an explicitly bad written reference, but it's pretty easy to get your point across without having to state it explicitly. On the other hand I will be completely honest if asked straight out on the phone.

So I guess you just need to cross your fingers here OP and hope that the other references which you have provided will pull it for you.

_Brian

skallywag wrote: »

Most definitely do not ask for that particular reference to be removed.

I find it extremely unreasonable of this person to have first agreed to and then subsequently renege on the reference. Did she give you any reason as to why?

I myself would never give an explicitly bad written reference, but it's pretty easy to get your point across without having to state it explicitly. On the other hand I will be completely honest if asked straight out on the phone.

So I guess you just need to cross your fingers here OP and hope that the other references which you have provided will pull it for you.

I think this is where the real reference happens... I will always lift the phone and ring rather relying on anything else..