How soon is too soon

Gannicus · 12-04-2015 5:39pm #1

Was over in one of my mate's houses last night for couple beers and having a bit of craic. During the course of a conversation he mentioned a girl he liked for ages (their kinda friends nothing more) VERY recently became single (Wednesday just gone). I know the ex-bf and I can't say its much of a loss for her. Anyway my mate intends on asking her out now during the week.

I tried to explain to him that she has only broken up with a him and probably doesn't want any suitors sniffing around her so soon. He told me that as long as he's known her she's always gone from relationship to relationship. He said its that she's not such a close friend and he would rather risk losing the resemblance of a friendship they have to find out if she's interested in him at all than never know. I kind of applaude his balls to do it but think he may fail horribly. She broke up with the ex so he kinda has that on his side.

My question for AH is; even though everyone is a bit different when it comes to the end of one of their relationships, in general what is the average amount of time someone should wait before asking a newly single person out?

Mint Aero · 12-04-2015 5:44pm

Gannicus wrote: »

Was over in one of my mate's houses last night for couple beers

What kind of beer? I will form an opinion on you and your mates based on your choice of tipple and answer accordingly.

biko · 12-04-2015 5:44pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdOz1EihRV4

To answer OP, the average time based on my scientific empirical studies are between 6 and 9 hours.

super_furry · 12-04-2015 5:45pm

It's never too soon if she's into him.

Birneybau · 12-04-2015 5:45pm

He should give it a go anyway. She'll probably be too cut up to say yes though.

Gannicus · 12-04-2015 5:46pm

Birneybau wrote: »

He should give it a go anyway. She'll probably be too cut up to say yes though.

Thats my opinion too but my question is how long should one wait before asking a person out if they've just come out of a relationship.

jimbooooo · 12-04-2015 5:48pm

he's got no chance.

if she was the one who broke up, it most probably means she already has someone else to jump to.

Wabbit Ears · 12-04-2015 5:50pm

as soon as you are aware they have broken up. literally, The conversation should be, So... you've broke up with X, Can I go out with you? Like on a date, not as in we are friends and I wanna listen to you talk bollocks about the guy for eleventy two hours straight.

Cold War Kid · 12-04-2015 5:51pm

jimbooooo wrote: »

he's got no chance.

if she was the one who broke up, it most probably means she already has someone else to jump to.

Why would it most probably mean that? And why has he got no chance?

Tomagotchye · 12-04-2015 5:53pm

There's having balls and there's being a bit of a sleaze. Throwing away a slight friendship is one thing to him but it's making it awkward for this girl if she doesn't feel anything and that's on top of just ending a relationship which might be hard enough...

A little patience might go a long way here. Then again, it may have been the beer talking. Who knows?

anncoates · 12-04-2015 5:55pm

Now.

Gannicus · 12-04-2015 5:57pm

Tomagotchye wrote: »

There's having balls and there's being a bit of a sleaze. Throwing away a slight friendship is one thing to him but it's making it awkward for this girl if she doesn't feel anything and that's on top of just ending a relationship which might be hard enough...

A little patience might go a long way here. Then again, it may have been the beer talking. Who knows?

When I say slight friendship I mean they are familiar with each other in a platonic sense. they don't hang out but if they see each other in the local boozer or chipper they chat. Thats about it. Not like they're BFFs or anything.

Lucyfur · 12-04-2015 6:01pm

He should've asked her Wednesday evening. Sure she could be married by now.

bee06 · 12-04-2015 6:03pm

Depends on how long she was going out with the ex for. A few years then it's too soon but if it was a few months and she broke up with him then he should go for it.

Gannicus · 13-04-2015 6:59pm

Apologies or the delayed response. Internet was down.

No sure how long she was with the ex bee06. I'm only giving everyone the same info I have. I think it was circa 1.5 - 2 years

Steve_Carella · 13-04-2015 7:41pm

Best thing to do is never ask her out and just keep asking complete strangers online for suggestions.

WoollyRedHat · 13-04-2015 7:45pm

Not so soon that he is the rebound.

He should woo her first, prove to her he is a worthy suitor, write a sonnet that makes her weep tears of joy, give her the most exquisite of cheeses, fight another man for her honour and invite her to watch. Sing to her. If she is receptive to such romantic notions then he should then ask her out.