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Freak out

  • 10-04-2015 11:30pm
    #1
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭


    Met a guy who pursued me and text and flirted. I began to flirt back and it was fun. Then when the guy in question actually realised I might like him back ( shock horror ) he goes awkward, shy and avoids me. What's up with that? Is he just odd or just wanted the chase? But what's the point of chasing something and never closing on it. WeirdO!!! ( plus I know it's the wrong forum - can't find the personal issues one)


Comments

  • #2
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Lamp69 wrote: »
    Met a guy who pursued me and text and flirted. I began to flirt back and it was fun. Then when the guy in question actually realised I might like him back ( shock horror ) he goes awkward, shy and avoids me. What's up with that? Is he just odd or just wanted the chase? But what's the point of chasing something and never closing on it. WeirdO!!! ( plus I know it's the wrong forum - can't find the personal issues one)

    Would ya not text him and ask him??


  • #3
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭Lamp69


    tomwaterford wrote: »
    Would ya not text him and ask him??


    I did last night saying I was confused at how he felt and if he wanted to go for a drink great. If not then grand too. He didn't reply but did read them so I guess that's my answer. Very strange behaviour from him - maybe it's a lucky escape if he's that shy around a girl that likes him lol!!


  • #4
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    Lamp69 wrote: »
    I did last night saying I was confused at how he felt and if he wanted to go for a drink great. If not then grand too. He didn't reply but did read them so I guess that's my answer. Very strange behaviour from him - maybe it's a lucky escape if he's that shy around a girl that likes him lol!!

    Try ringing him...though I do be shy myself and not up to talking on phone at times :/

    Snapchat??


  • #5
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭Lamp69


    tomwaterford wrote: »
    Try ringing him...though I do be shy myself and not up to talking on phone at times :/

    Snapchat??


    Naw I've sent him enough texts now and he ignores ones about "us"!! I mean he had no problem texting at the start flirting and then when we said we will see what happens ( we both established we liked each other and said so ) the next time I saw him he was sooooo awkward. I see him fairly regularly because of circumstances. Fair enough if he's shy but why ignore my texts? If he was super shy but liked me enough wouldn't he reply. He's obv lost interest and not brave enough to say so ( even tho he said the opposite 2 weeks ago when I asked him ).


  • #6
    Dolly Daydreams
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 245 ✭✭Dolly Daydreams


    Nothing really to add to help, but I know what you mean Lamp.

    Been there, done that. Mentioned about not responding to texts, and the 'i'm shy' came out.

    I would have thought it would be easier to be less shy on texts than in person/on the phone but hey ho.


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  • #7
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭Lamp69


    Dolly Daydreams wrote: »
    Nothing really to add to help, but I know what you mean Lamp.

    Been there, done that. Mentioned about not responding to texts, and the 'i'm shy' came out.

    I would have thought it would be easier to be less shy on texts than in person/on the phone but hey ho.


    He was all chat when I first met him but then after a while the more we text and talked and realised there could be something between us he pulls away. He said things along the lines of he's not good at compliments, told me to make the first move ( I'm too shy to do that too ha ) and I think he realised he couldn't continue with the flirting and not follow up on it so he just ignores me. Pity 😞


  • #8
    SterlingArcher
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,767 ✭✭✭SterlingArcher


    From a guys point of view. He is chasing someone else.

    You're already done with it, so all good.


  • #9
    Saralee4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,077 ✭✭✭Saralee4


    Lamp you sound like you know whats going on and you have acted in the best way possible. Just ignore him now I think. Normal people just don't play games like that with each other and if this is him at the start then imagine further down the line. You are being clear with him and he doesn't respect you enough to show you the same.

    That whole thing about him being shy and you having to make the first move says to me that he doesn't want to do it as in make the first move because almost he thinks if you are making the moves on him that it will be ok to dump you later. Like in head, its some kind of get out of jail free card if you know what I mean.


  • #10
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭Lamp69


    Saralee4 wrote: »
    Lamp you sound like you know whats going on and you have acted in the best way possible. Just ignore him now I think. Normal people just don't play games like that with each other and if this is him at the start then imagine further down the line. You are being clear with him and he doesn't respect you enough to show you the same.

    That whole thing about him being shy and you having to make the first move says to me that he doesn't want to do it as in make the first move because almost he thinks if you are making the moves on him that it will be ok to dump you later. Like in head, its some kind of get out of jail free card if you know what I mean.


    I'm just soooo surprised he would act like this as he seemed like a genuine nice guy. Also a bit dumb of him to treat me like this as I see him nearly every day!! But hey at this stage nothing is beyond some guys


  • #11
    Saralee4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,077 ✭✭✭Saralee4


    Lamp69 wrote: »
    I'm just soooo surprised he would act like this as he seemed like a genuine nice guy. Also a bit dumb of him to treat me like this as I see him nearly every day!! But hey at this stage nothing is beyond some guys

    I know it's mental. I've only had one or two experiences similar, nothing too dramatic, although I'm with my husband since we were 19/20 so I wasn't really on the dating scene that long. Since joining boards, there seems to be a lot of issues like this and it all seems to boil down to communication and being straight with people.

    obviously you don't go into something with someone and have a set list of plans and state 'i want this this and this' but leading someone on and not being straight with them when the situation changes or not communicating fears and doubts is bad. It's horrible but you really do have to keep your guard up until someone proves they are trustworthy.


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  • #12
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭Lamp69


    Saralee4 wrote: »
    I know it's mental. I've only had one or two experiences similar, nothing too dramatic, although I'm with my husband since we were 19/20 so I wasn't really on the dating scene that long. Since joining boards, there seems to be a lot of issues like this and it all seems to boil down to communication and being straight with people.

    obviously you don't go into something with someone and have a set list of plans and state 'i want this this and this' but leading someone on and not being straight with them when the situation changes or not communicating fears and doubts is bad. It's horrible but you really do have to keep your guard up until someone proves they are trustworthy.

    I did have my guard up as I've been in so many positions like this in the past but then I began to trust him. I defriended him from FB and the time I see him I won't be all smiles as usual. He can get lost as far as I'm concerned now. It make things uncomfortable as regard our circumstances but he didn't care about that when he chose to ignore me! He doesn't care so why should I anymore I guess


  • #13
    LOLA08
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 137 ✭✭LOLA08


    It make things uncomfortable as regard our circumstances but he didn't care about that when he chose to ignore me! He doesn't care so why should I anymore I guess[/QUOTE]


    this could be your answer. do you work with this chap?
    he may have 2nd thoughts about going out with you in case it didn't work out, and that would make it even more awkward, just a thought


  • #14
    Lamp69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 139 ✭✭Lamp69


    LOLA08 wrote: »
    It make things uncomfortable as regard our circumstances but he didn't care about that when he chose to ignore me! He doesn't care so why should I anymore I guess


    this could be your answer. do you work with this chap?
    he may have 2nd thoughts about going out with you in case it didn't work out, and that would make it even more awkward, just a thought[/quote]

    Ya I do and he did say at the start would it be awkward etc and I said I didn't know but to just go along with it and see what happens. He agreed but obv changed his mind again. He could have just told me tho instead of ignoring me!!


  • #15
    LOLA08
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 137 ✭✭LOLA08


    sounds like he has had a rethink about the work situation and how it would affect you both if it didn't work out. its fun & games in the beginning but reality set and he is casually walking away, its not personal he probably does like you but not going to take it further out of fear. as for not telling you in the beginning who knows, maybe he thought it would never go any further then flirting, now that it has its like he has to make a decision. regardless of his reasons your best bet is to hold your head up high, and always be polite to him.


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