familiarity breeds contempt

Robsweezie

a phrase I came across just recently, and it got me thinking. its actually quite true. is too much of a good thing necessarily a bad thing? is there anything in your life right that you have grown contempt towards literally because its too familiar?

I find this a lot with people, the more you're around them it becomes overkill, this can happen with work colleagues, some people I can hack in moderation, others for longer, all relatively nice people, but working with them 24/7 and you would get fed up with them simply because they're in your face all the time. its a terrible feeling to say that, but even the nicest people would wear on you. the same conversations, interactions, half hearted jokes etc.its the people I see less of that I have more of a liking towards. I currently am a part timer and I think that's perfect for me. I would slowly grow to resent the job otherwise. im the type that doesn't want people to see ''too much'' of me, a low profile, but not to the point of aloofness or invisibility.
''absence makes the heart grow fonder'' is a nice counter quote to the above.

LadyAthame

Robsweezie wrote: »

''absence makes the heart grow fonder'' is a nice counter quote to the above.

No it's BS people who play that game get the shove .

Robsweezie

LadyAthame wrote: »

No it's BS people who play that game get the shove .

what game though?? is it necessarily a game in your own view/experience???

LadyAthame

Robsweezie wrote: »

what game though?? is it necessarily a game in your own view/experience???

Whatever people who do it/ play it get the shove.

_Redzer_

Familiarity, but really predictability, really annoys me. If I'm around the same people, day in day out, doing the same sorts of things, I get really restless. Whether that's the same social circle or work routine without any switch up at all.

Everyone needs to shake things up every now and again to not go crazy or turn into some boring cúnt stuck in a loop.

LadyAthame

_Redzer_ wrote: »

Familiarity, but really predictability, really annoys me.

I like it to some degree.

_Redzer_

LadyAthame wrote: »

I like it to some degree.

Good for you

TheBeardedLady

I read in one of my text books that psychological studies have shown it to be wrong. It was talking about how a lot of what we believe to be common sense/old wives tales often have no scientific evidence to back them up, so they put them to the test. I'll have to find the study.

whatismyname

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

I read in one of my text books that psychological studies have shown it to be wrong. It was talking about how a lot of what we believe to be common sense/old wives tales often have no scientific evidence to back them up, so they put them to the test. I'll have to find the study.

And there'll probably be another different study that shows it as right. Usually the way it works.

TheBeardedLady

whatismyname wrote: »

And there'll probably be another different study that shows it as right. Usually the way it works.

I'm going to have a look. Curious now.


It's not something I find to be true personally and living foreign and having had so many friend changes/colleague changes/boyfriend changes over the last 6 years, this situation is even worse and I crave stability and familiarity.

Into The Blue

The longer you're around someone, the more time they have to accidentally do/say something that annoys you.

Study over.

brummytom

I found it moving in with friends from Uni. When you're out or just relaxing while living separately, it's great. After living with friends for two years... Every time they breathe I want to scream.

Vic_08

Robsweezie wrote: »

a phrase I came across just recently, and it got me thinking. its actually quite true. is too much of a good thing necessarily a bad thing?

Well, too many pies and you will be FattyRobsweezie, that is probably a bad thing right?

Robsweezie wrote: »

I find this a lot with people, the more you're around them it becomes overkill, this can happen with work colleagues, some people I can hack in moderation, others for longer, all relatively nice people, but working with them 24/7 and you would get fed up with them simply because they're in your face all the time. its a terrible feeling to say that, but even the nicest people would wear on you. the same conversations, interactions, half hearted jokes etc.its the people I see less of that I have more of a liking towards. I currently am a part timer and I think that's perfect for me. I would slowly grow to resent the job otherwise. im the type that doesn't want people to see ''too much'' of me, a low profile, but not to the point of aloofness or invisibility.

That is more a description of how mildly irritating/dull people are tolerable in small doses but prolonged exposure can turn their minor foibles into psycological torture that the CIA would be proud of.

eamonnq

Familiarity breeds contentment.

Dangerous Man

Familiarity breeds people.

elefant

LadyAthame wrote: »

No it's BS people who play that game get the shove .

I think the phrase has implications beyond someone playing hard-to-get

I don't know how anyone could argue that the idea of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' is bullshit. I'm sure the vast majority of people would consider it to be very much true.

eamonnq

elefant wrote: »

I think the phrase has implications beyond someone playing hard-to-get

I don't know how anyone could argue that absence makes the heart grow fonder is bullshit. I'm sure the vast majority of people would consider it to be true.

Out of sight, out of mind.

anncoates

Familiarity isn't contemptuous per se. They're your friends, not underlings tasked with providing originality and stimulation to you on a daily basis under pain of expulsion.

Friendships can go stale though but I think that's more to do with disparities or personality traits than you gradually become intolerant of, rather than basic familiarity.

Menas

elefant wrote: »

I think the phrase has implications beyond someone playing hard-to-get

I don't know how anyone could argue that absence makes the heart grow fonder is bullshit. I'm sure the vast majority of people would consider it to be true.

I have lived abroad a few times in my life and find this to be true. Absense makes my heart grow fonder.
My mind filters out the things I dont like and I end up missing the 'good' in my friends rather than the things that drive me nuts. Also, when I dont see people for long periods I tend to reflect on what I really like about them rather than the day to day banality.

whisky_galore

If I lived 24/7 with some family members as an adult I could end up killing them.

fizzypish

I've lived in close contact with that fizzypish bastard for over 2 decades. Hate him now!

5rtytry56

fizzypish wrote: »

I've lived in close contact with that fizzypish bastard for over 2 decades. Hate him now!

Feel the pain dude. Live in close proximity with this douchbbag that used be on boards called gugleguy.

Hans Bricks

Robsweezie wrote: »

what game though?? is it necessarily a game in your own view/experience???

The Game of thrones. You win or you die.

Zillah

I used to think it was a military thing: superior officers can't be one of the boys because they'll have contempt for your authority if you do.

It also refers to the idea that if you become too familiar with something dangerous then you will develop contempt for the risks and might end up in a bad way. Like if a lion tamer forgets that it's a deadly predator in front of him.

Hans Bricks

Yeah I'm definitely more introverted I'd say. Not in a social hermit, billy no mates type of way, I see my mates regularly, even during the working week, but I need some personal Hans time aswell.

ToddyDoody

I find living with people or indeed at work it can be best to issue a list of when your office hours are, or by appointment if necessary. Nothing wrong with that.