How to move on?

Kerrygirl81

Met a guy five years ago and fell for him instantly, we were inseparable. Unfortunately he had his ticket bought for Australia months before he met me. After spending 3 amazing weeks together, the time came for him to move away. I was gutted but assumed things would end there. Unexpectedly we kept in constant contact, FB messages, text messages and ringing each other. I decided to visit him that October and spent two brilliant weeks over there. He told me numerous times over there that he loved me and I honestly knew I felt the same way but didn't tell him that because it would've made everything too real and I knew I had to head home again. Between then and now, he's gotten into a long term relationship and I've had a few short term ones but we've still kept in contact. He came home last year and we met up and spent a day together, everything was so relaxed and easy going, I had a few drinks but he didn't. He was home again last week so we decided to go on a night out, this time he decided to drink as well. Think both of us knew from the start that it wasn't a good idea. we ended up sleeping together and it was amazing. I know it was wrong because he's involved with someone but it also felt so right. The following morning, he kept kissing my forehead and holding my hand, I knew he didn't want to leave and I didn't want him to go either. I text him that day apologizing but he said that it was inevitable that it was gonna happen and the only reason it didn't the last time was because he didn't drink. He said that if he didn't want it to happen, then he would've stopped it but he was glad it happened. I know in my heart and soul that he is the one for me but don't think he'll be moving home any time soon. I'm heart broken, all over again. Should I just cut contact with him completely, is this the only way to get over him. And please, no judgement on what I did, I know it was wrong, so does he, I do regret it and would hate it to be don't to me.

Buona Fortuna

Hi Kerrygirl, just a couple of thoughts.

Don't beat yourself up about "it being wrong". You both went into it with your eyes open. Nobody was tricked or duped. We all do stupid things from time to time and I'm no exception . Give yourself a pass.

You say he's unlikely to move back. Is there any possibility of you going to OZ?

LadyAthame

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

You say he's unlikely to move back. Is there any possibility of you going to OZ?

He is in a long term relationship. Never ever get with that type of person. OP it was wrong. And he is not a good guy if he did it on her he will do it on you.

Kerrygirl81

I've never even considered going over because I have a son from a previous relationship. At this point and time, all I want to do is forget about him and just move on with my life, I feel like I've been stuck at the same point for 5 years. I've tried not messaging him but always cave in. I feel like I'm holding on the fact that eventually he'll move back. I know he's a prick for cheating on his gf and I'm not much better but we didn't plan it. I think both of us thought that we had gotten to the "friendship" part of our relationship but the spark is definitely still there.
And thanks for replying

Buona Fortuna

LadyA - sorry I misread that - you're completely right.

OP - give yourself a pass and move on, delete him from FB, phone etc and move on.

Eimee90

hey OP, I won't give out to you, two adults made a decision here and whether it was right or wrong, its your business. I will say however, that if he wanted to make it work and you wanted to make it work, you would. You would find a way to be together whether it was long term planning or uprooting and moving to be together. The point is, he has a long term partner who he has now cheated on, tells you he loves you, but remains with his girlfriend. It's a classic story, OP, and I think you deserve better. You need to break contact for your own good, because dont you think you deserve a kind loving partner who wants a relationship with you. Regardless of whether you are friends or not, clearly staying in contact is not making you happy

Kerrygirl81

Thanks for the replies. Think I agree wholeheartedly with what is being said. Maybe it is time for a new start Deleting him from my life will probably be one of the hardest and scariest things I've done in a long time but it's more than likely for the best. Onwards and upwards 😥😄