Is he interested?

Minimix

Hi all. Looking for some advice please. I met a guy out over Christmas. We were out about four or five nights in the same company and I was surprised when he said he liked me. We got on really well and the last night we were out I gave him my number and he said it would be nice to meet up. That was in January. He text on two occasions after, nice friendly conversations, he text on valentines day then all went quiet. I decided to text him, he text back. I knew things had cooled off and through a mutual friend I found out he has been seeing someone over the last few weeks. I was gutted:( (that was last night). Then out of the blue he text me today, wishing me a happy Easter and asked me was I out last night. I replied......but no reply from him.
What do u think.......is he interested? Ws he just sussing out if I was out in case I bump into him with the other girl? Did he just text to be friendly?

Jasper_

Short answer: No, not really.

Obviously I don't know the lad, nor you. But I am a male and I know how most men operate whilst single. Men generally like to keep some line of communication open with women they are even remotely interested in. Weather it be to say happy birthday or happy Easter, this allows them to keep a pool of women in their lives when things are looking a bit barren in terms of women they actually wish to pursue.

If he genuinely liked you and wished to pursue you you would know all about it.

So in short, your (more then likely) a back up plan and (more then likely) not the only one at that.

Apologies if that all sounds harsh. My advice is simply do not reply to or initiate contact with him again if its bothering you (which it clearly is since you have started a thread on it)

Silent Runner

Did you guys actually meet up for a one to one date/meet up or were your meets in the group of friends? How serious did he sound about meeting up after you giving him your number?

Initially he sounds like bit of a messer but if could just be down to circumstances (like you said he started seeing someone). I'd say he's just being friendly to be honest, I wouldn't be giving it a lot of thought to be honest

paulmclaughlin

If you only text after you knew things had cooled off and he initialised every other conversation, it's possible he was gauging your interest by seeing if you would message him first.

mada82

He's not interested he's seeing someone else. I agree with the first reply also.

ash23

It might have finished with the other person he started seeing. Was your friend sure they're still together?

If you like him then text back. But within a couple of texts (if he hasn't mentioned seeing someone) ask him to meet up. If he says no or fobbs you off he's not interested in anything more than texting so you can safely say he's not interested.
It's also possible it was a mass text so he might not reply if you text him so only reply if you're ok with no response from him too.

Minimix

Silent Runner wrote: »

Did you guys actually meet up for a one to one date/meet up or were your meets in the group of friends? How serious did he sound about meeting up after you giving him your number?

Initially he sounds like bit of a messer but if could just be down to circumstances (like you said he started seeing someone). I'd say he's just being friendly to be honest, I wouldn't be giving it a lot of thought to be honest

We didn't meet up one to one for a date, every time we met he was out with friends. I found out after that he didn't usually hang out wit this particular group but he was going out because I was there. He was jokingly asking for my number over the earlier nights out, I didn't give it to him until the last night we were out. Not because I didn't want to but because at that stage I was more surprised at him being interested and I guess at that point I wasn't. Now I would love to see him again but looks like he's moved on. Just don't get why he text when he's seeing someone:-/

cactusgal

Sorry OP, he's not that interested. You met him over Christmas, that was ages ago. If he wanted to meet up with you, he definitely would have made the effort by now. Texting means very, very little. Actions speak louder then words, and his actions are ... well, non-existent, if he's not picked up the phone to ring you and arrange a date over the past few months, and if he's already been going out with someone else.

I get that you like him and it's a crap feeling, but don't waste your time on this one. When you meet a guy who's truly interested, it will be a no-brainer, and you won't have to spend a minute of your time wondering if he likes you or not.

Onwards and upwards! X

Idle Passerby

Minimix wrote: »

Just don't get why he text when he's seeing someone:-/

Because he knows your still interested and he likes the attention.

Mr. Incognito

He wants to sleep with you but isnt interested in a relationship.

Minimix

paulmclaughlin wrote: »

If you only text after you knew things had cooled off and he initialised every other conversation, it's possible he was gauging your interest by seeing if you would message him first.

I think this is very likely. Im regretting it now and feel like I've missed my chance. I wasn't open about how I felt and now I'm regretting not telling him. He's still texting me, perhaps just being friendly. I know it's probably too late but I can't help think what if I tell him how I feel:-(

beks101

He’s keeping you there in the background as an option, probably along with a few other women who are on his radar for a rainy day.
This is especially the case if he’s online dating too - very common IME.
Don’t allow yourself to be someone’s Rainy Day option.
It’s OK to not be on board with the way someone sees you or is treating you, even if you fancy the ass off them.
It’s good to have boundaries and to assert them when needed, such as some fella texting you sporadically and not following through, all the while dating somebody else at the same time.

strobe

Minimix wrote: »

I think this is very likely. Im regretting it now and feel like I've missed my chance. I wasn't open about how I felt and now I'm regretting not telling him. He's still texting me, perhaps just being friendly. I know it's probably too late but I can't help think what if I tell him how I feel:-(

Is he still seeing someone else? It sounds like he stopped texting when he met someone else, then perhaps started again when it didn't work out with her? If that's the case then just ask him out for Christ sake, before he meets someone else again and it does work out.