What if I'm wrong??

Pat_custard

Hi everyone,

I'm currently in two minds regarding where my relationship is going. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years now and in the last month or so I've really started to doubt our relationship.

She's been working in the UK since the end of last June so when I heard the news I thought I'll just go on a J1 for the summer with a few friends. I did and everything was OK.

I'm still in college and I've been over to her a few times and she comes home very often so we see each other pretty regularly, considering she lives abroad. We also face time and Skype a lot. She will be moving back home next month for good, which is much sooner than anticipated and I'm delighted. But the last month I'm starting to notice things that I didn't notice before. In the last month I've really started to doubt how much my head really is in this relationship. I'm starting to have thoughts about being single again (grass is greener and all that). in the last month I've gone out to nightclubs twice both times I've felt the urge to just hit the dance floor and try get with some girls. Thankfully neither times I did, I ended up leaving within an hour of getting inside, much to my friends annoyance. They all know my gf so I don't want to tell them whats going on out of respect for her. I can't talk to my mam because she absolutely adores my gf. I've even start looking at one of her friends in a way I have never before.

I've never been like this in my relationship. I'm starting to feel that we're more like friends than a couple. I feel like I can't talk to anybody about my problems and it's annoying me that after being in LDR for so many months to start feeling like this right at the end just as she's about to come home.

Maybe it will pass once she's home for good and i'll stop with everything I've been feeling since I'll be seeing her regularly. I'm afraid it won't though I'm just wasting both our time. I'm afraid it won't pass and i don't even trust myself to go out with my friends now because of the last two times, what if I'm really drunk and just say f@%k it?

Any advice/past experience/stories/help would be much appreciated.

kylith

LDRs are hard because it's difficult to maintain the BF/GF dynamic when you don't really have any physical contact.

She's home in a few weeks so grit your teeth until then, don't get so plastered you do something silly, and give it a while to see if the spark comes back when ye can see each other often.

pookie82

Could it be the case that this is happening now BECAUSE she's due back, instead of in spite of it? Maybe you'd been enjoying your "freedom" with her living abroad, and the reality of her moving back and becoming a "full time" gf again are niggling at you.

Completely agree with the above poster - stay away from social situations for the next while where you think you might be drunk and tempted on a whim. Cheating on her will give you no options other than to lie to her for the rest of your relationship and carry the guilt, or come clean and very likely lose her.

What age are you? All relationships go through up and downs, rough patches and smooth. Could be that you're just "not feeling it" at the moment on account of her distance, but you'll settle back into a routine and back into the swing of it once she's living back here. It's very hard to keep the spark alive long distance, I know this.

Give her a chance to move back and see how you feel once she's home a while would be my advice.