Why do Irish people avoid 'semi-familiar' confrontations?

thelad95

There's a real tendency amongst Irish people to avoid conversation with people they half know. I think we've all done it before. You're walking down the street and you see someone who is a friend of a friend. You know their first name but you don't really know them. Instead of stopping to say hello, you look in the opposite direction or pretend you have a text and they do something similar. End result is that the potentially awkward confrontation is avoided.

Why do we all do this? Are we all too introverted and awkward to even give a simple hello?

ScumLord

I don't know, but sure, anyway. I have to go collect children from something.

Kevin McCloud

You cant stop talking to everyone, some of us have work to go to.

holy guacamole

Because there is nothing worse on this Earth than mundane chit-chat.

Every time I'm forced to engage in a mumbling conversation about the weather/the government/the current state of my career, a little piece of me dies.

I'm all for cheery hellos and smiling, friendly greetings, but unless we're engaging in a riveting, in-depth conversation about the injustice of it all I'm going to continue on my merry way.

One eyed Jack

thelad95 wrote: »

There's a real tendency amongst Irish people to avoid conversation with people they half know. I think we've all done it before. You're walking down the street and you see someone who is a friend of a friend. You know their first name but you don't really know them. Instead of stopping to say hello, you look in the opposite direction or pretend you have a text and they do something similar. End result is that the potentially awkward confrontation is avoided.

Why do we all do this? Are we all too introverted and awkward to even give a simple hello?

I don't think it's a particularly Irish trait, nor has ir anything to do with being introverted or awkward. I don't mind giving a simple hello even to complete strangers, but sometimes I avoid friends of friends or even friends, simply because I don't really have anything to say to them and I don't want to get caught up in conversation.

c_man

Who are you to shake up our system OP?! Everyone's happy with it.

LadyAthame

thelad95 wrote: »

There's a real tendency amongst Irish people to avoid conversation with people they half know. I think we've all done it before. You're walking down the street and you see someone who is a friend of a friend. You know their first name but you don't really know them. Instead of stopping to say hello, you look in the opposite direction or pretend you have a text and they do something similar. End result is that the potentially awkward confrontation is avoided.

Why do we all do this? Are we all too introverted and awkward to even give a simple hello?

I agree. Wholeheartedly.

LadyAthame

Actually a lot of people I know friends who are not Irish tend to think we are very closed in that way.

Mister Vain

I don't think its an Irish thing. Sometimes people just don't feel like chatting.

LadyAthame

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I don't think it's a particularly Irish trait, nor has ir anything to do with being introverted or awkward. I don't mind giving a simple hello even to complete strangers, but sometimes I avoid friends of friends or even friends, simply because I don't really have anything to say to them and I don't want to get caught up in conversation.

No the Spanish the Italians Brazilians Asians are not like that. In fact in some places in the UK they are more outgoing perhaps not in London.

Americans tend to be friendlier too.

One eyed Jack

LadyAthame wrote: »

No the Spanish the Italians Brazilians Asians are not like that. In fact in some places in the UK they are more outgoing perhaps not in London.

Americans tend to be friendlier too.

That's an awful lot of people, let alone just making a generalisation about Ireland alone?

I'd say it's more an individual thing really, I get people in the street talking to me and I haven't a clue who they are. It even happens to me when I go shopping -

One eyed Jack wrote: »

That was like myself yesterday in Dunnes. I was in the queue for the checkout and I was checking something on the phone when a woman cut in front of me from behind because I hadn't moved up in the queue. I wasn't too pushed anyway as she'd only a basket and I wasn't finished on the phone (so I'd more time).

I wished she'd never turned to apologise because as soon as I said "Hey no problem", she began to tell me all about herself and her problems and everything going on in her life. I dunno what it is about my face or my ears that people think it's ok to do that!

She took an age at the checkout fumbling through her purse, packing away her stuff, another conversation with me while I felt awkward about the whole thing and didn't want to tell her just to feck off, and I felt bad for her then because everyone behind me was tutting and moaning, it was actually easier for me to turn round and say "give her a few minutes lads, it won't kill ye!"... :rolleyes:

Then turned back around and prayed to myself that nobody started a riot :pac:

Very disconcerting :pac:

SEPT 23 1989

800 years of tyranny and oppression

LadyAthame

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

800 years of tyranny and oppression

And Take it away!

yeahimhere

I'm in that position right at this moment. A guy who lives 3 doors down from my boyfriend sat beside me on the bus. I've no idea what his name is, I could start a chat but why? Bit awkward (very awkward actually!) but I've never spoken to him before. Just pretending I didn't notice who it was.

Santa Cruz

thelad95 wrote: »

There's a real tendency amongst Irish people to avoid conversation with people they half know. I think we've all done it before. You're walking down the street and you see someone who is a friend of a friend. You know their first name but you don't really know them. Instead of stopping to say hello, you look in the opposite direction or pretend you have a text and they do something similar. End result is that the potentially awkward confrontation is avoided.

Why do we all do this? Are we all too introverted and awkward to even give a simple hello?

Check out Mickey Flanagans sketch "Peeping" on You Tube. He has the right approach for these awkward social interactions

LadyAthame

yeahimhere wrote: »

I'm in that position right at this moment. A guy who lives 3 doors down from my boyfriend sat beside me on the bus. I've no idea what his name is, I could start a chat but why? Bit awkward (very awkward actually!) but I've never spoken to him before. Just pretending I didn't notice who it was.

You are on the bus? Tell him boards says hi!

Macavity.

Mundane pointless cringeworthy small talk just for the sake of it is tiresome. It hold no value - it's a waste of time.

LadyAthame

Macavity. wrote: »

Mundane pointless cringeworthy small talk just for the sake of it is tiresome. It hold no value - it's a waste of time.

It's the foundation upon which AH is built on.

OneArt

It's not just Irish people.

A lot of German do it too. So do my American acquaintances. And my Russian friends.

Scandinavians are apparently notorious for it, though I've only ever met one and she was also American.

I would've thought Irish people did the opposite.

Mint Aero

Actually it's only when passing a foreigner that I half know, who tends to ignore when you say hello. So there OP. FFS we salute strangers passing in the car.

PARlance

If I was walking down the street and spotted the OP, I would shout over "I'm from the internet, what the hell is a semi-familiar confrontation".
If they took offence, then we might have a semi-familiar confrontation type thingy.

The Strawman Argument

I'm a self-diagnosed agoraphobe, that's my excuse. Really bad at recognising faces in the moment too, I've accidentally blanked my own brother a few times because I wasn't sure it was him.


This kind of stuff is way worse at home in the country, you go for a walk and see someone a mile off down the road, realise that it's Pat the Cooper's wife Bridget cos you can recognise her cardigans from anywhere. You have to spend the next 10 minutes trying to figure out when to time the hello (if you start too soon or too late, it'll somehow turn into a conversation). In towns it's far easier to feign obliviousness.

efb

Macavity. wrote: »

Mundane pointless cringeworthy small talk just for the sake of it is tiresome. It hold no value - it's a waste of time.

I wholeheartedly agree

Mister Vain

I'm always trying to avoid my neighbor. She has a tendency to grab me in certain places while we're chatting.

lulu1

LadyAthame wrote: »

And Take it away!

My friend and her husband live in the center of Dublin/
They visit her home place on weekends
Her husband is from Dublin and he cant understand how it takes her two hours to go to the shop and back.
The shop is only around the corner

gormdubhgorm

What amuses me is that this thread started by a stranger, who is asking other strangers why Irish people ignore acquaintances. Yet the strangers have responded....

thelad95

gormdubhgorm wrote: »

What amuses me is that this thread started by a stranger, who is asking other strangers why Irish people ignore acquaintances. Yet the strangers have responded....

You need to lay off the hash.

Son Of A Vidic

Mister Vain wrote: »

I don't think its an Irish thing. Sometimes people just don't feel like chatting.

I agree, it isn't exclusive to the Irish and Micky Flanagan nailed it on his Out Out tour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DY1Riu58YGA

Sh1tbag OToole

holy guacamole wrote: »

Because there is nothing worse on this Earth than mundane chit-chat.

Every time I'm forced to engage in a mumbling conversation about the weather/the government/the current state of my career, a little piece of me dies.

I'm all for cheery hellos and smiling, friendly greetings, but unless we're engaging in a riveting, in-depth conversation about the injustice of it all I'm going to continue on my merry way.

Then don't mumble about the weather, have some off-the-wall random wacky sh1te ready for the next randomer you meet

Rothko

What makes you think it's mainly Irish people that do this?

efb

Harry Hornpipe wrote: »

You do realise you are free to ignore or talk about whatever you want, or continue to be a lemming if that's what you want.

What?

glassdaisies

Ah! yes! this!! I work in a fairly large office building full of probably more than 500 people at any given time. I've worked 3 different departments now, so I half-know about 200 of those people. I can't get up to go to the cafe or run to the bathroom without bringing my mobile with me, because inevitably I run into at least two of these people who want to chat about who had a baby, who got fired, the crazy weather, etc etc. Lady, I just want to go eat my lunch. Ah, but the mobile in hand keeps you getting out of these messes, and you can just smile and nod, or a quick hello. I live in Florida, so I can tell you it's defo not exclusively Irish. You rarely see someone walk down the hall at work without either their mobile in hand or reviewing some sort of paperwork.

johnnyskeleton

Just give them the nod of the human and keep going

Day Lewin

It's much worse among English people, take my word for it *shudder*

captbarnacles

Can't believe no challenge of 'confrontation' yet....

jamesoneill

LadyAthame wrote: »

It's the foundation upon which AH is built on.

And boards. Ie

SpaceTime

it's boards : irish people ... Going out walking around with two feet! Breathing! Talking!

Only in Ireland! Sure everyone else goes by teleportation and breathing only done in 3rd world countries like here.

dancingchicken

Ya I'm just much more comfortable talking with people I know well. Purely because I don't really have anything to say to anyone else.

worded

4th meeting, ah look at you again, you are like a bad euro coin that keeps turning up

draylander

thelad95 wrote: »

There's a real tendency amongst Irish people to avoid conversation with people they half know. I think we've all done it before. You're walking down the street and you see someone who is a friend of a friend. You know their first name but you don't really know them. Instead of stopping to say hello, you look in the opposite direction or pretend you have a text and they do something similar. End result is that the potentially awkward confrontation is avoided.

Why do we all do this? Are we all too introverted and awkward to even give a simple hello?

Nope. We just avoid awkward conversations with the ' no craic' crowd

PARlance

captbarnacles wrote: »

Can't believe no challenge of 'confrontation' yet....

PARlance wrote: »

.......what the hell is a semi-familiar confrontation.....

Everyone just crossed the street

_Whimsical_

We are definitely not the only people who avoid insane small talk with semi stangers but we are maybe the only people embarrassed about doing so. Why are we all going around with our phones in our hands on the off chance we need to pretend to look at it or thinking "oh no, must pretend to be engrossed in the footpath to avoid eye contact and a potential conversation here". That's the weird part I think. Other nationalities are less awkward about the whole thing.

wbt

Why would you stop? I've better things to be doing than making small talk with people I barely know. Why bother? Just blank them!

gossipgirl10

Santa Cruz

"Very cold for the time of year" covers everything