What to do

LegacyUser

Regular poster on boards so unreg for this.
Bit of background info. Im late 40s with 2 adult children living with me
Im not legally separated for reasons i wont go into here, I met this woman online through a dating site she is in roughly the same position as myself as in not legally separated. She is mid 40s with 4 kids teens to 7 yrs old. We met a few times and we both agreed we got on great we had a lot in common and roughly the same interests in hobbies, we'd ring and text each other a lot to the point were it got a bit raunchy. 1st red flag at one point she said she loved me which i was bemused and asked her why she said that....her ex "showed no emotion and i was so so different from him"
Sometimes it was hard for her to get times away from the kids for us to meet as her ex kept letting her down which i completely understood and was patient with.
After 4-5 months I asked if we could move things on abit in regards of making things kind of a little bit more commitment and slowing up on the texts and calls basically making time for us, This led to her getting into a strop and then silence for a week or so, not answering 2 calls or texts.
2nd Red flag I get a text after 2 weeks as if nothing had happened so i asked her did i do something wrong? her reply was no and she want to talk about it, basically she didnt want to move things on any futher.
I really like this woman...funny smart and shes like a breath of fresh air and honestly shes on my mind alot and she says the same about me but my gut feeling is shes playing games in some ways and im afraid of letting her go incase she is ok.
Any advice?

LegacyUser

Unsure1 wrote: »

her reply was no and she want to talk about it, basically she didnt want to move things on any futher.

If that's her honest answer, then there really aren't any more questions for you - you offered a relationship, she's said no and, sadly for you, you have to let it go at that.

If it is a game she's playing, or she is just confused and giving mixed messages, then I would think that's a reflection on where she is in terms of moving on from her marriage, ie she hasn't, or at least not enough to be starting something with someone new.

Either way, it sounds like there is nothing to let go, it was a fledgling relationship that never took off and won't do unless and until she truly moves on from her marriage.

retro:electro

She tells you she loves you after a few weeks but yet balks at the thought of moving your commitment any further? Red flags all over the place im afraid.. Cut ties and move on.

blueb

sounds a bit sketchy man... you sure shes separated? only asking because u say she finds it hard to get away ( which im sure is no easy task with 4 kids anyway) coupled with the fact that shes not legally separated.
Do you know any people in common? I would be very careful as she declared love so quickly but if it were me i would take a little more time to try to find out whats behind all the mystery!

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks for the replies and it seems you all have the same understanding. I'll talk to her during the next week or so and draw a line under things and move on with life.

Guessed: I think your probably right regarding her marriage, He left her after she got PND and found love with another woman but still calls over a couple of times a week to see/collect the kids (when it suits him).

BlueB: Her ex lives in the same town but they do live separate lives, shes not legally separated and either am I.

blueb

good luck with it man