nursing home advise

debbie353

Hi All,

I'm currently facing the dreaded situation of looking for a nursing home for my dad.

It's not my first choice for my dad but the reality of the situation is I can't look after my dad. He needs full time care. He has been in hospital the past 8 weeks and has a carer full time with him there and still he is a falls.

He has colon cancer and the hospital has said he's not strong enough to operate on right now so they want to discharge him to build him up and review him in 4 to 6 weeks. Yes very unsteady on his feet and quite weak. He has serve muscle wastage as he's been bed bound since November. If I was to take him home he would need someone with him 24/7 and with work and college I can't give him that amount of time. If be terrified to leave him alone for 10 mins in case something happened to him. It's unsafe for him to be alone and as I've mentioned he's fallen twice this week whilst in hospital with full time care.

So basically I'm looking for nursing home advise. Ones preferably on the northside of Dublin. I've looked at Cars Care in Santry and was really impressed however my mum went to see it after me and hated it. She Just didn't like the vibe.

My dad's 71 he's not old. He can communicate perfectly. I'd like to see him somewhere with people similar. He would hate the thought of bingo, arts and crafts and knitting which seems to be all most nursing homes offer.

Any advise anyone had I'd really appreciate. In really struggling with this.

FluffyAngel

Hi op

Your post has me back to the time when my mother was hospitlised for many months and was in and out of hospital

i decided that she had to go to a nursing home as i was at my wits end
when i approached the socail worker in hospital she listened and then said

"Is that what she wants"

if its what your Dad has agreed to then it should be fairly easy to contact hse and they can help ..

if he wants to remain active and go home ,then i would suggest that you sit down with his team and work out a plan of action on how best this can happen

have you contacted hospital socail worker? they are very good and can support in many ways

MrWalsh

Would you consider getting a carer into the home to look after him while he gathers his strength for surgery? I only suggest this as it might be easier for him to face a surgery from home rather than a new living environment. It could be cheaper than a nursing home also for a short period of time.

Obviously in the longer term a nursing home is probably the answer, but he may recover well after the surgery and be able to stay at home for a while longer?

keysersoze1

Plus one.if he good communication skills maybe a retired /living alone neighbour friend might sit/stay with him for couple of hours,carer /home help might do more hours with him..if you can manage it no comparison between own home and nursing home,imo

debbie353

Thanks for the replies. My dad was living in an independent living complex but he couldn't manage alone there so moved in with me and my mum in November. He has since declined again. Unfortunately with home help and carers you are only given 3 hours per day. He has agreed to go to a nursing home. I just want to make sure we choose the right one for him considering all the horror stories of late in the media. I'd love to hear anyones personal experiences with nursing homes in Dublin. I'm particularly interested in Cara care and TLC in Northwood in santry.

MrWalsh

I hope it all works out for you Debbie and you get some good recommendations on here.

livemusic4life

I doubt putting your dad in a nursing home is really going to build him up. Depression is rife in nursing homes and can take months for a person to settle. Talk to his team and see what can be done to keep him at home where he'd be happy at least.

dudara

@livemusic4life - the OP has requested recommendations for suitable nursing homes. They have explained why they have come to this decision. Please respect that and stick to the original topic.

dudara

livemusic4life

dudara wrote: »

@livemusic4life - the OP has requested recommendations for suitable nursing homes. They have explained why they have come to this decision. Please respect that and stick to the original topic.

dudara

I was only making the point that depression is rife in nursing homes, I do have 6 years experience of nursing homes. I shall behave myself in future though. Sorry.

WheatenBriar

Op,As it's coming near Summer,do you have any late teenage relatives who'd be interested in a summer job looking after him while you're not there?
I'd be advocating any option but a nursing home too if it's practical
(Sorry for mentioning this Dudara,but if you could allow a little latitude just to see if other options are doable if the op doesn't mind?)

Dubl07

WheatenBriar wrote: »

Op,As it's coming near Summer,do you have any late teenage relatives who'd be interested in a summer job looking after him while you're not there?
I'd be advocating any option but a nursing home too if it's practical
(Sorry for mentioning this Dudara,but if you could allow a little latitude just to see if other options are doable if the op doesn't mind?)

Looking after someone as unwell as OP's dad isn't something I'd trust a teenager with. He probably needs two carers for scenarios such as transfers, toileting and dressing. Then there's exercise/physio to be considered. Nursing homes leave a lot to be desired but there's no perfect solution in this situation unless you've a lot of cash for private home care.

OP, whichever home your dad ends up in, try and make sure you and/or your mum drop in unannounced at irregular times to check on him, his care, his feeding. Watch for bruising, burns, pressure sores; make sure he smells and looks clean and well-shaven. Take him out for walks, meals when you can and ask him what he thinks of the place when he's away from the environment. If you get a bad vibe from any of the staff, voice your concerns to management and consider a nanny-cam.

WheatenBriar

I wasn't talking about a 14 yr old but someone 16 to 19 or 20
The personal care/washing etc will be looked after by that 3 hrs from the HSE home care team
I'm talking about some one to keep an eye on him and company for the daytime hours and someone who can get help in a hurry if there's a problem
I looked after my grand father like that ,a man in his 90's when I was that age

debbie353

I'm almost 30 myself and I can't manage my dad alone. He needs a lot of care. At physio is my most important concern to build back up his muscles in his legs to get him more mobile. Myself and my mum would be popping into see him every day. The last thing I would want to do is leave him alone. I want him as close to my house as possible so I can drop in every day r evening. I would hope eventually down the line of and when he's a bit stronger I could take him home for weekends and holidays. As if we are off work and college we can look after him. It's so important to me that he doesn't feel alone. My dad's so important to me. I truly am a daddys girl and he means the world to me. The last thing I want is him in a nursing home but I don't have a choice. I just want the best for him. And anyone with experience with nursing homes I'd love to hear from.

cristeoir

Hi , I know a lady is who is a HIQUA inspector and my advise to you would be to find out what nursing homes are close to you and then go to the HIQUA website and read the inspection reports on each one ( a real eye opener! ). You would then need to go and visit the homes you have selected and preferably take your motherand father with you. Look at the residents and speak to some of them, you will soon get a feel of each place and decide which suits your father best.
At that stage you need to put his name on the waiting list for your chosen home and apply immediately for the Fair Deal scheme unless your family have the means to pay privately ( approx €1200 per week). Hope this is some help.

neemish

Have a look at Tara Winthrop in Swords... it's in an odd location but I hear really good reports about how caring the staff are and how concerned they are that residents are well looked after

debbie353

Thanks guys! I've looked at a few so far. I've ran out of some and loved some particularly cara care & st Gabriels in raheny. It's just a huge decision to make I want to be sure we pick the right place for him. I actually heard about that one in swords I'm making an appointment to see it this week hopefully. I also want to see st Joseph's in raheny. I've heard great things about there too.