Do i ditch her or give her one more chance?

Jordan537

HI All.

I have a girlfriend, been dating for 6 months now and have known her for a year.
We have a holiday planned next month.
over the course of time known i have put up with so much crap, you wouldn't believe. This is what i can think of regarding the hurt and disrepect i have been shown over the course of our relationship.
She had an ex boyfriend which you will see on the list below and what she did.

The following list in order of events.


Talking to me like **** in front of your “mates”

Blocking me on instagram. Then stating she hasn’t.

Texting Ex “I miss you” when im sitting rite next to her in the car.

Asking me to drive to Peel, knowing full well Dean is there. as they are conversing through text messages.

Arranging to meet up with me then leaving me for dead, out with mates instead “sorry, I forgot”

Taking down our Facebook Relationship, then saying she hasn’t touched it.

Removing me on Snap chat then adding me again so I disappear from the top three your chatting too.

Liking Facebook quotes, stating that you have loved but not been loved back, but also you have not been in love, but the person loves you.

Wouldn’t you like to know when asking a simple question, whom are you talking to.

Asking if she can borrow a condom for Saturday night as she is going out clubbing.

Talking to Adam, Andy, Chris, James, John, simon….. knowing full well at least 4 of these people have asked before for naked pictures and want to meet up for cuddles and sex. Being totally disprectful to me and our relationship.

Met up Dean behind my Back

Met with Dean behind my back

Met with Dean behind my back

Telling me Dean is blocked on all communication, and showing me he’s blocked, then unblocking him on all communication and talking to him.

Lying to me about her relationship with Dean, stating they were not talking, when infact you were!

Lies! Telling me lies about all sorts, cannot help yourself but to lie. Always caught out.

Telling me she met up with James for sex

Sleeping at Dean house on a night out after apparently not contacting him, where you then slept in the same bed as him, as well as had sex.

Cheating on Me when going clubbing by kissing Will

Had sex with John when just started talking to me.

Still searching on Dating websites, when talking/ seeing me.

Calling me a dickhead numerous times, resulting in me walking out of her house.

Lying to me about staying behind to finish stock, when infact went to meet Dean

Telling me “oh that guy looks fit” or singing “hey good looking, what ya got cooking” when driving along, insult and disrespectful and arrogant.

Lying to me saying you met up with Adam when I was at work, then telling me you were joking and only wanted to see my reaction. 26/1/15

Still an account on Dating Website- Badoo… got pictures up of trip to chester as profile pictures with account fully set up and running, made aware of this by message from Dean.

Dean contacted me 28/1/15 to inform me he is receiving snapchats from Dinah, just last week.

Sending Adam message on snapchat “ I wouldn’t say no to a shag”

Sending Adam message on Snapchat “Babe”

Sending Adam message on snapchat “flexible on sex positions”

Sending Adam message on snapchat saying your fit and you wouldn’t say no.

Sending adam message on snapchat saying to expect dirty messages on Saturday night as going out drinking.

Sending Adam message on Snapchat saying she might meet up with him Saturday Night.

Sending adam message on snapchat saying come round and see, after him asking what sex position do you like.

Only sending me two kisses on messages after being moody and down with me all day, I asked do I only get two kisses now, with a reply of “yes, because its easier”

Deleting picture of you and I on Instagram

Tells me after being in a relationship for 5 months that you don’t love me and have no feelings for me, then saying maybe its because you’ve been getting up at 6am the past few mornings, made you tired and don’t know what to think!!!!!!!!!

Told me the relationship you had with Dean was real, and was real love, can’t say the same about the relationship with me!

Told me after being on a night out that you were dancing with load of guys you didn’t know and that they were all over you.

Told me, that she thought we were not in a relationship, knowing for a fact we were. Doing this to wind me up or play with my mind. Then asks “I’m not treating you like a game, how am I?”
Then went on to say you don’t know you Love somebody until they have gone!!!!!

An excuse for treating me like dog **** is “I was tired” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Swapping and changing whether to move in with me or not dependant on the mood your in at the time, not sure where I stand with this one!

Deleting Facebook application from your Ipad, in the chance I may go on your ipad whilst Im over at your house as you don’t want me to see who your talking to. Then asking me “do you trust me”

Out with Abi, I asked if you wanted to meet with a reply, “mates before boyfriend”

Sending me message saying "im thinking of going to T in the park with some friends" then later telling me you sent it just to see my reaction.

What do you think? will she ever change, am i being used and being played like a game? is it time to bite the bullet and move on?

December2012

Get out now. She will never change

The Princess Bride

Run.
Very fast and far, far away.

You haven't listed one single positive point.
My head is throbbing reading your post.
Please do yourself a favour and move on.
Your life is worth more than this head wreck.

Into The Blue

I think if i was you and i had a list like that, my mind would be made up by about a quarter way down, if not sooner.

Drop her now, your self confidence can only take so much.

Meauldsegosha

So much drama for a 6 month relationship. Why you feel the need to ask should you stay with her is worrying. She has no respect for you and you have very little for yourself. Walk away now, cut all communication with her and work on building your self esteem.

Darren 83

How old is she? She sounds like a drama queen have some respect for yourself and finish the "relationship" no person is worth that hassle .

Jordan537

she is 19

ABajaninCork

Your GF is 19. And behaves like a 12 year old. She is almost certainly using you, tells lies and is flirting/seeing other blokes behind your back. You know it.

After reading the first item on your laundry list, I'm sorry, but didn't bother to read the rest, as I already knew the drill. I'd have got rid after the first time.

I suggest you do the same.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

**** that mate. Ditch her.

Tilly

Asking her boyfriend for a condom when she was going out one night? Seriously? You'll find some a lot more respectful of you. She's a melter!

beertons

Go check yourself for std's asap.

ThunbergsAreGo

Get rid, she's sounds horrible.

What do you get out of the relationship?

magentis

There is no woman worth that grief.Tell her get lost.

jelenka

Eh, why are you still with her? It's not even lack of respect from her, but you don't seem to have any respect for yourself there.
You allow her to walk over you and treat you the way she does.
Cheating and lying ( and asking for condoms for a night out) is not OK in any relationship.
Get checked for any STI's she may have given you and run away without looking back.

blueb

Christ man... i got a quarter way down ur post and id already have dumped her... your the buffer untill she gets back with her ex, have some self respect and revel in dumping her ass

dudara

@*donkeyoaty0099 - Please watch your language when posting.

Same goes to all posters

dudara

DeltaWhite

I have a massive headache after reading your post.. good god! You are 6 months in, take back your self respect and dignity and just walk away from that girl. This is a no brainer OP. You do not stay with someone who treats you like that. She's WAY too immature to be in a relationship.

Typer Monkey

I take it you are young too OP so you have an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson here. You are treated how you allow yourself to be treated. Your girlfriend has behaved appallingly badly but you have accepted that behaviour. One item from your list would be enough to send most people running for the hills but you stayed and accepted that litany of bad behaviour. You need to respect yourself and not accept behavior like that.

You are being a doormat OP. She is behaving horribly and treating you appallingly. Muster up your self respect and dump her. There's lots of lovely, respectful, loving girls out there. Leave yourself free to meet one. Treat her well and only accept the same from her.

You're worth more than this. Sort it out OP

Katgurl

Oh god, get rid. Don't even give her an explanation just have nothing to do with her again. She is a vile person.

Chucky the tree

The most worrying thing about all of this is how you have not only allowed it to last so long, but you are still not sure if you should end it. I honestly think you'd really benefit from seeing someone for therapy/councilling. I'm not sure if simply walking about will sort your issues. The bare minimum you need to do is walk away, run in fact, and don't look back.

Nervous Wreck

Any one of those things is reason enough.

daisybelle2008

OP, there are two of you in it. You are totally addicted to, and feeding off the drama and insanity and she loves doling it out to you, perfect match really.
No one who wants a sane healthy drama free relationship would have tolerated her for 5 mins or accepted that behaviour so your question is kind of pointless. She is not the problem; I’d say you’d easily find another nutcase to feed off of if it wasn’t this one. Your big dramatic blog/list of a post is more drama creation; a sane person would have run at the first red flag, not listing them off and asking if they are ok.
Maybe try to figure out with a counsellor why you have these issues otherwise you have a type and a pattern that will continue the rest of your life.

LegacyUser

OP like many of the other posters I did not read the entire list of things she has done.

1-2 reasons is enough to dump her, I am amazed and baffled with how much you have put up with.

simple answer dump her fast she is not a good catch she is far from it!

Mr. Incognito

Block her from your life totally.

Immediately, utterly and totally.

You are waaaay too young and there are too many amazing people out there.

Sunny Dayz

You are actually wondering if you should give her one more chance??


You have given her a million more chances than she deserves judging by your post. She has walked all over you and treated you in the most appalling manner. Please muster up some self -respect and dump her without a moments thought.


Forget the holiday you had planned or bring some else with you.

HoneyBee78

I'm sorry but I didn't even finish reading your post, far too much drama. Dump her, block her from everything and please don't take her back. She's playing you for a fool and you're letting her.

Have some respect for yourself and get rid!! What advise would you give to your brother/sister/friend if they were going through that?? Be kind to yourself!

You're only young, you'll find someone else and look back in years and wonder why on earth you put up with her for so long!

Pyr0

As another poster has stated, it's very worrying that you're unsure if you should end it. I got about 5 or 6 examples down and expected it to end there but then I had to scroll..

Get out of that "relationship" quick and never look back!

Floppybits

I got as point 2 and thought dump her.

blue note

Hi OP, don't mind all the other opinions here. What you have described sounds like a much more passionate exciting relationship than most people have. So many relationships you hear of people staying in together watching dvds on weekend nights, texting each other all the time and believing everything the other person says. There's no excitement in that. Your relationship sounds far more interesting.

Also, she's young, she'll definitely grow up soon. Imagine when she does someone else being there to enjoy it? No, i think you should put up with it for now and you'll be glad a few years down the line when she's ready to commit properly.

Enjoy yourself OP, I hope you make the right decision!

Bodhi

Wow not worth the drama get rid.

kjl

I don't think you are actually in a relationship with this girl. Stop letting yourself be treated like a doormat. this girl does not have feelings for you. Which btw she has made perfectly clear.

ViveLaVie

blue note wrote: »

Hi OP, don't mind all the other opinions here. What you have described sounds like a much more passionate exciting relationship than most people have. So many relationships you hear of people staying in together watching dvds on weekend nights, texting each other all the time and believing everything the other person says. There's no excitement in that. Your relationship sounds far more interesting.

Also, she's young, she'll definitely grow up soon. Imagine when she does someone else being there to enjoy it? No, i think you should put up with it for now and you'll be glad a few years down the line when she's ready to commit properly.

Enjoy yourself OP, I hope you make the right decision!

Sorry Wtf?

blue note

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Sorry Wtf?

She's probably just doing these things for attention from the OP too. Because she loves him.

If he ends it he'll never know if she was the one.

dudara

@ViveLaVie - Please do not post one-liner responses. Please post in a manner that adds constructive and considered input to the discussions.

dudara

strobe

blue note wrote: »

She's probably just doing these things for attention from the OP too. Because she loves him.

If he ends it he'll never know if she was the one.

Yeah and sure maybe to really get his attention because she clearly loves him so much next she'll stab his dog or clean out his bank account. So passionate and exciting!

Ah OP, she's making a massive laughing stock out of you. It doesn't even sound like she considers you her boyfriend, or anything else to her really. I'm not sure what her motivation is, an ego thing for her to treat you like crap and still have you come running like a puppy when she clicks her fingers maybe? Someone to take her frustration out on, make you feel worse than she does when she's feeling bad to make herself feel better? Just a bit of a bully? Previously treated like crap by a guy in the way she's treating you now, and taking it out on you? God knows. You shouldn't really care either way though. A bitch is a bitch. On your bike.

Gummy Panda

Sorry OP but asking her boyfriend for a condom on a saturday night out because she is going club isn't setting off sirens for you than I don't know what you expect anyone here to say that will.

pilatus

Simple Ditch that b1tch. I was going with a girl before very very similar to this degrading specimen and they tell you it's ok I've realised I was wrong and made a mistake, well it's not a mistake if it happens more than once and then found out the very next day she jumped back on that, so I dumped her and to this day I see family members of hers throwing me daggers and laughing as if I did something wrong apart from being a daft plank to give her another chance.

The thing I was going with wasn't half as bad as your thing. To day this day as a result my terrible experience with her has made me very suspicious of women and I've found it hard to trust again, it's wrong of me to be like that but once bitten and all that.

Please note my complete lack of respect for any cheating dishonest women out and don't get me wrong I know of plenty fellas who are just as bad if not worse and I wouldn't you know what on them if they were on fire.

Rant over.

Thidp

I couldn't even finish the list of things that she did, I stopped reading at the condom one. The list is so long and there are so many things that I can't imagine why you are in doubt if you have to get out of this or not.

Pissy Missy

Get out unless your name is Dean

orthsquel

good grief, she's only 19 and she is a royal headwrecker, absolutely psychologically and emotionally manipulative, a cheat, a liar, engages in multiple partners (not sure if she's telling you the truth or not either on that whether she slept with those people or not, she could just be pretending she did to get your reaction, create drama, get attention) and an immature child, who seeks constant attention, wants constant drama, creates constant drama and the only purpose you serve in this sham of a relationship is to be her audience!

She is being abusive to you, emotionally, psychologically, it's a list of abuse I've read. First red flag was No. 2 on the list, blocking you on Instagram and denying it. That particular behaviour repeats itself several times more in that version of behaviour alone and repeats again and again in slightly altered patterns in saying/doing something, then pretending she hasn't and the reverse I suspect is equally true. She is extremely immature for whatever reason, and this is someone who is just pure toxic!

I would suggest that you contact AMEN for counselling or at least someone to talk to about what you've experienced and turn to them in you feel for whatever reason, you can't end the relationship on your own.

I would suggest that after you dump her, you change all your passwords to any and every account you have that she might know passwords to, I would suggest you block her on every social network platform, I would suggest that if you can block her phone number do it, but I think changing your number would be better and be prepared to get yourself help and support as well as being prepared to contact Gardai should her behaviour post break up be nasty as to me she sounds the sort that is unhinged and toxic enough and in it for the drama to harass and intimidate you for the attention and drama of it; I've a feeling that she'll not just prove herself a headwrecker but an unhinged one with a vicious revenge streak who strikes me as the sort who is immature enough and incapable of thinking before acting to go to the lowest of the low to hurt you. Maybe I'm being daft, but something isn't normal about her behaviour at all whatsoever and I would expect a reaction post break up to be a worst case type of thing given her treatment of you so far.

2Bints1Joe

It looks like your head is all over the place because of this girl. Get out now before she melts your head completely

LadyAthame

You are not in a relationship with her but she has you fooled into thinking you are.

'knowing for a fact we were. Doing this to wind me up or play with my mind. '

She is trying to hurt you.

She wants to hurt and use you. She enjoys the kick out of it.

Sorry op.

Leave.

She sounds like a bimbo anyway. No one deserves this.

LegacyUser

OP I know you are better than this. You need to run away from this train wreck ASAP.

It will only get worse and worse as time goes on. Goodness knows where she'll stop

desertcircus

To add my voice to the chorus - there is no way anyone is worth that. Walk away. Not tomorrow, today.

thegreatgonzo

Cmon OP you just started this post so you could show it to her didn't you? You both need to grow up.