Wedding jewellery after a break up?

miss choc

Just a quick question what is etiquette re marriage/engagement rings after a marriage breakup 15 yrs together 5.5 yrs married. He will keep his but do I give mine back?

Wobbly_Legs

I believe that traditionally the wedding ring was bought for the woman so that she has something to her name of value after the split... I could be wrong with this or it could just be a myth.

However, one of my friends is recently divorced and they sold the rings and split the money...
It really depends on your own circumstances.

I would say that the best thing to do, would be to discuss this with himself?

eviltwin

After 5.5 years your rings are yours to do what you want with so its up to you. The only time I think a ring should go back is if it happens to be a family heirloom but apart from that keep it, give it back, sell it, whatever feels best for you.

ABajaninCork

The rings are yours. You got married, therefore the promise to marry (the giving of an engagement ring and wedding ring) was fulfilled.

Why not have them re-set into a cocktail ring or a pair of earrings?

miss choc

Hmm it was kinda mutual not one sided I know for a fact he would not ask for them but just don't want to be the mean one and know what you do first.
I do like them (as I picked them) but of course wont be wearing them now it was a solitaire so I don't know how a jeweller goes about breaking it down into another type of ring, cocktail one sounds nice though thanks guys

Neyite

I think that if it was a new piece of jewellery you or he chose on the engagement, its either yours, or if its of particularly high value, sell and split the proceeds.

If it was an engagement ring belonging to his granny or his mother, I think the morally right thing to do is to return it to him to continue on the family heirloom.

I'd apply the same criteria to his wedding jewellery too.

You could get a solitaire pendant made, or add another stone or two in a brand new design of ring.

miss choc

All new so it makes it easier as he will be moving out I would want him to keep some of the proceeds if we sell rings. TBH cash is more important at this point in time that holding onto them it would just be the sentiment of them I would miss but I have to move on

Neyite

miss choc wrote: »

All new so it makes it easier as he will be moving out I would want him to keep some of the proceeds if we sell rings. TBH cash is more important at this point in time that holding onto them it would just be the sentiment of them I would miss but I have to move on

Just beware the resale value of jewellery is quite poor so get a few quotes first to see what suits you best.

CBFi

Legally, if you had split before you got married, he is entitled to the ring back but since you were married, all gifts given are yours to keep.

There is a section on Citizens Information.

miss choc

Ah ok didnt even think that would be on that website. He's such a nice guy though he wouldnt even ask for them back if if we hadnt been married.

CBFi

TBH it's so strange that it is but I guess people need to know. Sadly, I had reason to check for a close family member and found the info there.

miss choc

Luckilly ours isn't like a bitter thrashing out get what you can LA style break up they must be horribly stressful

njs030

Glad to see you are going to stop wearing them, I know a woman who still wears hers 2 years after the marriage ended. And she instigated the ending!!! Very strange behaviour!

They are yours to keep, tbh I wouldn't rush into selling them as you might regret it in the future.

Heckler

My ex-wife offered me back the engagement ring when we split. I told her I didn't want back that it was hers to do with as she wants. She offered me half if she sold it.

She still has it though 2 years on. Says shes not ready to get rid of it.

I have my wedding ring on a key ring with my car keys. Would never get rid of it.

MistyCheese

Etiquette wise: if the marriage has taken place everyone keeps their rings.

Traditionally an engagement ring is given by the man to the woman to symbolise an intention to marry. If the man breaks off the engagement the woman keeps the ring as it is him breaking the implied contract. If the woman calls off the marriage she is obliged to return the ring.

In America the woman doesnt have to return the ring if it's given to her on her birthday or at Christmastime, basically if it's given as 'a gift' rather than a symbol of upcoming nuptials.

If a marriage has taken place then no-one needs to return rings because that implied contract has been fulfilled.

Vernonymous

Keep the ring. It still has sentimental value

miss choc

Yeah hard to know what to do I don't really want to sell it, I don't think I will be marrying again though :rolleyes: maybe in time I will turn them into a nice piece of jewellery. Kinda like an adaptation of my previous life and moving on with some adapted jewellery into another life phase.

cactusgal

miss choc wrote: »

Yeah hard to know what to do I don't really want to sell it, I don't think I will be marrying again though :rolleyes: maybe in time I will turn them into a nice piece of jewellery. Kinda like an adaptation of my previous life and moving on with some adapted jewellery into another life phase.

I think that sounds like a possible solution. Sorry to hear about your breakup miss choc, I remember reading your other threads. Hope you are ok. In any case, it's good to come to a final decision, and it sounds like a mutual and amicable one, which is kind of the best you can hope for in situations like these. Keep the chin up, time is a great healer x

LynnGrace

cactusgal wrote: »

I think that sounds like a possible solution. Sorry to hear about your breakup miss choc, I remember reading your other threads. Hope you are ok. In any case, it's good to come to a final decision, and it sounds like a mutual and amicable one, which is kind of the best you can hope for in situations like these. Keep the chin up, time is a great healer x

Just want to echo this. All the best, and take care miss choc

miss choc

Thanks guys long road ahead but hopefully time will heal