what to about bitter mother

LegacyUser

hi guys , having some difficulty with my mother lately , i have younger sisters and brothers but anyway's I just realised lately she is bitter so bitter to the core . she stays at home all day angry and moody , she constantly complains about my boyfriend asking where is he , why isn't he minding my daughter , giving out if he goes out to the pub (he goes out twice a month) she constantly accuses him of cheating etc Im a stay at home mother me and my partner live together he provides for us and when he is finished work we spend time together going for walks and swimming . I think he is a great father but my mother never stops giving out about him ,

she has also started being like her old self , when I was younger she used to kick ,hit , call names bite us , threaten to stab us with knifes, threw cups of tea/ coffee at our faces ,held our heads under the bathtub water , then it came out she was bipolar . I felt bad for her and always forgave her as my father left her to mind us by herself and because he used to abuse us badly also her also beating etc..

anyways lately she has been giving my youngest sister a hard time calling her fat, lazy eye , etc.. and when my sister mentions she wants to see her dad (don't have the same dad btw) she shouts at her to go suck her fathers c*ck since she loves him so much , calling her a whore , saying why don't you just f*ck you father , your a slut etc...she's only 11 .


it hurts so much as I love her she is my only parent and can she can be great sometimes but I can't stand the way she acts , shes such a selfish woman but I try to think it from her childhood being crap and my dad hurting her I just don't know what to do .

I am honestly starting to hate her .

retro:electro

Jesus Christ. You need to get in touch with social services and report her for this abuse. Your poor sister. Something has to be done about her and your sister needs to be removed from the toxic environment as soon as possible. She isn't mentally fit to be able to look after her.

ladygirl

you need to get your sister out of that toxic persons household immediately before she does more damage than she has already done.. The poor child.
I agree with the above post - contact social services or maybe you could become your sisters guardian.. Please please help this poor child

MouseTail

Contact Social Services immediately. You have a responsibility to report this disgusting physical and emotional abuse.

FluffyAngel

hi op ..

heres what i would suggest ..

take a few hours out from thinking about this,long walk music ..sombody to mind kids

then come back to it with a clear(ish) head and ask what yourself what you would do to help your mother

she could be all the things you said ,but she is also screaming out for huge help

your sister needs to be supported and helped asap..


can you and familly menbers come together and go through a plan of action ? i.e doctors/mental help team
can you take your sister if mother has to go to hospital ?

can you speak to mental heath groups? local mental help team?


can you take her to stop her being fostered out?


socail workers wont just "jump" in and take her away and can take as long as a month to get referrals etc for help

as much as your in pain with the words and actions of your mother try to to rember that she needs help as well

retro:electro

FluffyAngel wrote: »

hi op ..

heres what i would suggest ..

take a few hours out from thinking about this,long walk music ..sombody to mind kids

then come back to it with a clear(ish) head and ask what yourself what you would do to help your mother

she could be all the things you said ,but she is also screaming out for huge help

your sister needs to be supported and helped asap..


can you and familly menbers come together and go through a plan of action ? i.e doctors/mental help team
can you take your sister if mother has to go to hospital ?

can you speak to mental heath groups? local mental help team?


can you take her to stop her being fostered out?


socail workers wont just "jump" in and take her away and can take as long as a month to get referrals etc for help

as much as your in pain with the words and actions of your mother try to to rember that she needs help as well

I agree that they won't just jump in and take the child away and that's probably not what the op even wants, but surely the most important thing to do is to report this behaviour to the people that matter from the perspective of the child? They might work with the family and put a system in place that will favour both the mother and the child. The abuse can't continue so it's important that immediate action is taken.

greengirl31

It sounds to me like your Mum has gone off her meds or needs the dose adjusted.

How was she diagnosed initially ??? Was she hospitalised at the time … The reason I ask is maybe that’s what needs to happen again. Was she OK for a while after she was diagnosed ?? Perhaps a chat with her GP might give you some ideas on how to proceed.

In the meantime though, your sister is a big worry. I know it’s a bit responsibility but could you look after for a while … Or her dad maybe. It’s a horrible horrible situation for her to be in especially at such a young age. Again, your GP might be able to give some advice or put you in touch with a social worker.

Good luck though .. It’s a heartbreaking situation for your family to be in

ABajaninCork

I think your mother has serious mental health issues. Has she ever been diagnosed by a GP??

I agree with the others. Have a talk with your partner, and see if there's any way you can take over the care for your sister. She can't stay with your Mum any longer. Get on to Social Services straight away and get advice.

The poor girl will end up with serious issues if you leave this any longer. As it stands, she will probably need therapy anyway...

Please, please, please act OP. Do it today. You know it makes sense!

The_Conductor

Have you contacted your little sister's Dad? Is he aware of what is happening? Is he in a position to help your sister? You need to get your sister out of the situation she is in- it sounds like she could be physically as well as psychologically harmed- if she is not shown that she has other choices. I agree with the above- contact social services- your sister urgently needs whatever help can be afforded her.