How to forget someone

freenow

I met someone last year in a place that I have to go to most days. I had a meeting with him and had no expectations apart from dealing with the issue we were there to discuss.

This is going to sound so corny, I even feel silly typing it out, but being there with him, speaking with him was like I had known him forever. It was the first time in my life that I have ever felt so instantly "safe" with someone and as if I could just be completely myself without having to put on an act. I got the impression that he liked me too over the next few months there was a bit of flirting and I was trying to pluck up the courage to ask him out.

Then I found out he had just got married and I was crushed. Really crushed.

This was almost a year ago and I still have to see him about from time to time and each time I see him the feelings come flooding back. It's possible that I am over-romanticising the whole thing but I've been in a couple of LTR and a few flings and never been blind-sided like this.

I just want to forget him and move on because I think I am holding myself back. I absolutely would never do anything about trying to approach him but at the same time it's painful to know there is someone out there with whom there is such chemistry and it's not to be. (The moment I found out he was married I backed right off and just acted as normally as I could.)

Any tips? I need to not feel like this anymore. It hurts.

Littlekittylou

Then I found out he had just got married ....

Keep picturing him with his wife. ETC it will end the feelings and help you move on.

Think about it. You say you met him last year. And had this chemistry but then he met someone within a year and got so carried away he married her , within one year. Yet he never asked you out.

I know what it's like. One sided expectations etc need to be considered what they are the result of your wonderful imagination and creativity. That little fantasy can be a safe place to put your feelings especially if you are timid. In that world he will never abuse you or treat you badly. But the reality is he did not feel as you did. He did not ask you out. He is with someone else now and she has all his love.
It was NOT meant to be.
What is meant to be will be.

Keep picturing him with this woman over and over. I don't find another woman's bf husband attractive. You realize there is no future and it just starts to feel icky.

Seriously you NEED to start meeting other guys etc. And start meeting new people and dating. Develop a new crush.

If he really wanted you and was the type to get married in a year he would have asked you out.

I know what it's like we all do. But he loves someone else you have to let go to be happy.

I think sometimes when we feel something strongly we assume the other person does. That is not always so especially when their actions show otherwise.

It's probably the chemistry is all on your side and that there is no great mutual passion. Distinguishing fantasy from feeling can be a challenge. BUt I would wager his actions show he does not feel the same.

SepTomBer

Learn to accept you're not meant to be.

It takes time to move on but do not live in the past.

Find a good hobby. There's always a reason why your not together now.

Because if your together how are you going to be with the one that is fated in you.

freenow

Thank you both! Yeah I needed to hear that it's probably all in my head. I only knew him a few months before he got married so it was never going to happen anyway. Perhaps I met him so that I could learn more about the type of guy I would like to meet someday.

Hobbies, yes! It's about time I started something new. I'd love to take up art again. That's what I'll do.

Thanks for the replies. I agree that fantasies are a great way of avoiding real life! It's amazing how I managed to get so caught up in these feelings.