Need advice..

LegacyUser

So.. I'm a bit all over the place and would like to hear an outsiders thoughts on this. So I'm 30 and I've been with my bf 2 and a half years. Everything is going ok, but I've always had a niggling feeling of doubt- something I just can't shake; I just don't feel he is thee one. I can't ever see myself marrying him. Although we get on well; I find myself jealous of other couples who seem so in love- we just don't have that. I suppose I really should break up with him, theres no point in wasting more of his time but its just so hard to end because its like cutting off my best friend. I will miss him sooo much and I feel sick at the thoughts of hurting him. How do I just end things out of the blue?

Penny Tration

How do you do it?

You sit him down and you tell him the truth.

Sure, it'll hurt. It'll hurt both of you. However, he deserves somebody who's in love with him, as do you. Don't ever stay with someone out of convenience. That's ruining both your life and his.

3DataModem

Just think about the next thread you post;
"Pregnant, but don't love father"
"Wedding cold feet."
"Cheated with guy in work."

Don't be that person. Take the advice above. No easy and honest way to do it, so just do it.

LegacyUser

Well when you put it like that.. I do not want to be writing those threads.. Thanks for the advice. I can't believe I'm going to do this. It'll hurt us both so much. He's going away with his friends this weekend, I should leave it until after that. I wish I was madly in love with him, its so sad.

Penny Tration

Ally2015 wrote: »

Well when you put it like that.. I do not want to be writing those threads.. Thanks for the advice. I can't believe I'm going to do this. It'll hurt us both so much. He's going away with his friends this weekend, I should leave it until after that. I wish I was madly in love with him, its so sad.

If he's going away with his friends, I'd do it before he goes. At least that way, he'll be around people, being distracted, instead of sitting in alone and upset.

skallywag

I would end it sooner rather than later, you clearly see no hope whatsoever for a future together.

Just one aside though, the whole concept of 'the one' can often be something which someone can only answer in retrospect in any case, i.e. you often will not realise who this is until you are looking back from an outside vantage point.

LegacyUser

I hear what you are saying but I just feel he will be v upset and I don't want to ruin the weekend away- he's been looking forward to it for ages.

Thats interesting about the one but in any case, if this guy asked me to marry him I would say no.. so I suppose there's no point in dragging out the inevitable..

My god its going to be hard.. on both us.. I hate being the one responsible for the sadness we will both feel..

LegacyUser

It know it is not an easy thing ending a 2 year relationship when your 30 but at this stage you know your own mind. If you know your relationship is going no where your doing the right thing. You may have family and friends saying why did you end things with him ect but it is your relationship not theirs.
I know couples around your age who got engaged/married or had children knowing things were not great. A few years later things ended between them which was not easy it was even harder when children were involved.

I know several men and woman who ended long relationships that were going no where.
Within a short period of time they know they did the right thing. It is not that you being mean doing this but you both deserved to be with people who really care about you.

LegacyUser

Thanks Lady2015 Great advice and encouragement