Need help!

LegacyUser

I met a guy online and been seeing him for 3 months. Things were going really well apart from one thing, he bails quite a lot on meeting up, usually stuck in work but sometimes tired/hungover etc. I let it slide. He's always very apologetic and really tries to lock down a meeting the next day etc. unfortunately he recently bailed on a weekend night, texted me 10 mins after the time we were supposed to meet saying he was stuck with friends and didn't realise how late it was etc. I was so annoyed I didn't reply until the next day saying "yeah, see u later." I decided that may have sounded a little but final (!!) and wrote then later asking did he want to meet. No word since. I really like this guy and think we could just talk it out and see how it is goes. Now I'm worried I'm never gonna hear from him again! What should I do?!

Tokyo

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but this situation is raising a whole load of red flags for me. Best case scenario, he doesn't respect you enough to respect your time. Worst case scenario (and honestly the one I'm leaning towards) is that he already has a girlfriend or a wife, and is playing about online behind her back.

It sounds to me though, that no matter what he does, you are still trying to seek approval in his eyes. You should aim towards having more self worth than that, because regardless of the why's, this guy is treating you with little to no respect. Cut him loose - you can do far better.

miamee

Why do you want to talk it out? You've been seeing him just three months and already he has let you down multiple times and stood you up the last time with a rather lame excuse about forgetting the time. If that were true he'd have been calling to say how sorry he was and that he was on the way and how soon he'd be there. In reality all you got was a single text.

I wouldn't bother contacting him again, he's treated you badly enough already.

IlmoNT4

The guy texted you 10 minutes AFTER you were suppose to meet up, so I'm presuming you were waiting some where, makeup on and ready to go? Thats not on at all....Theres nothing to talk out with this person. He dumped you that evening because he was comfortable hanging out with his mates...

I know, you probably are saying to yourself - but I really like him, and thats just his way....Thats nonsense. He doesnt like you one single bit (honestly), you are a backup if hes bored and someone to sleep with, thats it.
Anyone can type an apology its how they change their behavior afterwards that matters. If this fella is really that busy, stuck at work blah blah blah then he shouldnt be out dating and messing you around. If he was a decent person these things might happen once and they would be upfront that meeting during the week is difficult because of work so they would suggest that weekend dates are better so they can keep them. He hasnt done that has he?

OP, This guy is a messer and a waste of your time. Delete his number, there are lots of nice guys out there who want to date and meet a nice lady. Listen and look at his behavior, he's telling you heaps about what he thinking and feels about you, and you are not listening. All these type of people do is suck up time and destroy yourself esteem. You need to ask yourself, why it is ok that you are allowing someone to treat you like this?

Stavro Mueller

Sorry OP but as I read through this, my first thoughts were that he's probably already married or has a girlfriend. It's the most plausible explanation for all those cancelled plans. Even in the unlikely event that he is single, why would you want to waste more of your time dating someone so flaky. He should be bursting out of his skin to see you as much as he can, not "forgetting" the time.

My advice to you is to delete his number and not bother contacting him again. What exactly is there to talk about? If he has a wife/girlfriend/kids at home he has been lying to you since day 1. On the other hand, if he is a complete and utter flake, why waste your time with him either? You're better than that.

Youngblood.III

Sounds like a married man...

kylith

TBH the only thing he should have said in that last text is to apologise for forgetting the time and that he was on his way, and begging you to wait for him.

Like the other posters bailing so frequently would raise red flags for me that if he's not married he's seeing someone else.

ee21

Do you mind me asking how old is he? is he just looking for fun etc

ThatFatGal

He's just not that into you.

Have some self respect and move on.

sadie1502

Oh God delete his number and move on. He has no interest what so ever. Do yourself a favour draw a line and move on. After three months he is treating you like crap. Not a hope tell him jog on.

Katgurl

Omg forget about him, seriously! He texted after you were due to meet up? Texted not phoned? And then wasn't even on his way? And his excuse was he forgot? Why on god's earth were you prepared to meet him the next day? I'd want nothing to do with him after that.

You deserve waaaaay more than this.

He's a complete joker and you shouldn't enable such poor treatment.

You are telling him you have no self respect, he can behave whatever way he likes and you'll put up with it.

If he does get in touch with you again do yourself a massive favour and ignore entirely or you will have nobody to blame but yourself when it all goes wrong on a much larger scale.

catonthewire

Delete then block him from your phone, then online.....

Either this guy is a complete jerk or already in a relationship, which would account for his last minute cancellations ect....
You only know him three months, why should you care one jot that he is upset...

You deserve so.much better , forget about him and enjoy life free from clowns..