Funeral Monday, boss did not seem convinced.

2Mad2BeMad

Well basically, this week I took a weeks holiday.

My granda passed away their about 3 hours ago, so I rang my job, funeral is monday and thats when I was suppose to start back working.

I told my boss, he said sorry to hear and all, but he didnt sound convinced, now i know some twisted people out their would say a family member passed away to get time of work ( not everyone I just happen to know 2 people that have done it )
I'm afraid this will make him think im looking for extra time off,
I mean the timing is bad of course but it can't be helped.

I death cert will take ages to get to even prove it to him, not that he asked for proof or anything but I just genuinely don't think he believes me.

Any other ways to get a proof of death or anything? I know the papers show who passed away, but anyone can pick out a name in a paper and say they are related

ABajaninCork

Did your boss allow you the time off?

If he has, then I'd say he's being reasonable, and I wouldn't worry about it further. Of course, if he asks for proof, then be ready to supply it...

Mr. Loverman

I'd be worried he didn't sound convinced.

That means he already has trust issues with you.

Does he think you're a good employee?

Atlantic Dawn

Normally the death will be published on www.rip.ie by the undertaker.

2Mad2BeMad

yes of course he allowed the time of for me. Hes a great boss

No theirs no trust issues, I am an excellent employee (without the bragging), always on time and work hard never call in sick even if I am dying,

Only reason is I just took a weeks holiday
now I am looking for another day off already, bad timing, which is understandable I can see him being skeptical
maybe I am just being paranoid

thanks atlantic


edit: found him on that site atlantic, they put it up their very fast, should be fine now cheers

Mrs OBumble

OP, firstly - sorry for your loss.

Now if I was your boss, I'd be sounding doubtful too. It's not about you, it just seems wayyy to convenient - and more people than you would imagine lie about stuff like that (sick though it is.)

Go to the funeral, and make the best of it.

When you go back to work, talk about that the funeral was like, maybe if there was leaflet leave a copy on your desk.

Keep doing an excellent, honest job and your boss will get over it.

Victor

Do take time to grieve and be there for others.

If you want to, when you are back next week, give your boss a photocopy of the page of the newspaper and ask him is there any way you make up the time.

cerastes

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

Normally the death will be published on www.rip.ie by the undertaker.

What if the grand parent doesn't have the same name? Even if it was, how is the boss really to know if the person is a grandparent?
I'm just thinking about it from the employers point of view, what youremsaying doesn't necessarily prove anything, not sure how much an employer can ask for proof of it, its difficult on their part to be able to request confirmation.

thadg

if you live work and your grandparents funeral is within 20 miles of where your boss is from Im sure your boss will probably go to the funeral.

don't worry if your boss is in that much doubt about he/she will do research and see that you were not telling lies

boobar

You're overthinking this I think.

I'm sorry for your loss.

It's possible that your boss was distracted with something else.

So I'd say don't dwell on this.

shamrock55

Sad state of affairs when you start to give a **** what your boss thinks when you are attending a family members funeral, sorry for your loss btw

vangough

exactly--i shadow shamrock55's comment. your granddad just died and you are asking what you boss will think?? seriously--im sorry for your loss but why give a sh!t what he thinks! why are u even writing on boards for advise--what are you hoping to get for advice?

Tarzana2

vangough wrote: »

what are you hoping to get for advice?

If he should produce evidence of the death.

Radiosonde

Some bizarre advice in here. Leave leaflets from the funeral on your desk?? I don't even know where to start with that.

Sorry for your loss OP.

tom_tarbucket

What is the actual purpose of this thread ?

Pawwed Rig

thadg wrote: »

if you live work and your grandparents funeral is within 20 miles of where your boss is from Im sure your boss will probably go to the funeral.

I doubt strongly any work colleagues would go to a funeral of a grandparent.

Optimalprimerib

I wouldnt worry about what he thinks. You know that it is genuine and that is what counts. It would be incredibly insensitive and risky for him to question your reason of absense in this case.

Thats why the dead granny card does be played so often.

amdublin

Sorry to hear about your grandad op.

If you are worried would you be able to attend the funeral and then go in for the afternoon?

PCX

amdublin wrote: »

If you are worried would you be able to attend the funeral and then go in for the afternoon?

I would think its more important to be there to support your Mum or Dad who will have just buried their parent.

amdublin

PCX wrote: »

I would think its more important to be there to support your Mum or Dad who will have just buried their parent.

I'd agree too. But I guess it's up to the op, and if he or she is worried they might prefer go in to work after the funeral.

Just wondering op, are you entitled to compassionate leave for a grandparent or do you have to take it as unpaid/holiday?

My job does not give compassionate leave for grandparent afaik.

William F

Effing scumbag. Who is he to question your integrity?

Cork Lass

William F wrote: »

Effing scumbag. Who is he to question your integrity?

He didn't. OP is just worried that the boos did not sound convinced. He's being a tad over anxious imho.

FloatingVoter

The papers will be littered with "funny" stories about all the money being lost due to people turning this into a four-day event. The same papers will also carry details of the many funerals taking place around the nation over the next two or three days.
The former consists of recycled figures and urban myths for the main part. The funeral details are all sadly true. Any boss worth their salt can figure that out.

abff

While I agree that the OP's focus should be on his recently deceased grandfather and his mother's loss of her father, the timing is unfortunate. The day before Paddy's Day, having just had a week's holiday?

PCX

abff wrote: »

While I agree that the OP's focus should be on his recently deceased grandfather and his mother's loss of her father, the timing is unfortunate. The day before Paddy's Day, having just had a week's holiday?

I agree the cheek of the man not considering the convenience of his relatives bosses when choosing to die!

OP my perspective is that your family are more important than your current job.

You are not lying to your boss and if so inclined he can check that out. I very much doubt this will go against you long term with your boss

It was bad
form on his part reacting negatively to your family tragedy. If he had suspicions he should have checked them out before showing a lack of support. Not good for morale or commitment. Good example of poor management skills. YMMV.

abff

PCX wrote: »

I agree the cheek of the man not considering the convenience of his relatives bosses when choosing to die!

OP my perspective is that your family are more important than your current job.

You are not lying to your boss and if so inclined he can check that out. I very much doubt this will go against you long term with your boss

It was bad
form on his part reacting negatively to your family tragedy. If he had suspicions he should have checked them out before showing a lack of support. Not good for morale or commitment. Good example of poor management skills. YMMV.

Apologies if I made my point badly. I was agreeing that family comes first, just making the point that the OP probably felt awkward contacting his boss because of the timing and he may have inadvertently given off a vibe that made his boss suspicious. Or he may just have imagined that his boss acted skeptically.

Anyway, death notices usually list family members (including the married names of any daughters) so the OP should have nothing to worry about (other than his boss's lack of trust in him) if his boss decides to check up on him.

Mrs OBumble

Radiosonde wrote: »

Some bizarre advice in here. Leave leaflets from the funeral on your desk?? I don't even know where to start with that..

The OP him/herself said that the death certificate will not be available for some time.

A funeral leaflet can give some degree of assurance that the situation is genune - though of course it won't be enough for a employer who's looking for something verifiable.

Despite the emotion attached to death in Irish culture, there is no statutory entitlement to bereavement leave for anyone. And even in those contracts that do allow it, it generally doesn't apply to grandparent (or uncles/aunts, in-laws, etc). Permission to not attend work so as to attend those funerals is strictly at the employer's discretion - and we know from other threads, sometimes not given.

From the sound of it, the OP's employer has allowed an additional days leave for the funeral. That's good. I would guess there's a discussion about the type of leave to be had after the OP goes back to work.

The OP looking for ways to deal with any doubts the employer has is a good idea, too.

An Ri rua

I think its important to act as humanely and compassionately as possible at times of funerals. And to act with dignity.

So don't go around feeling compromised. As a poster said, one of your parents has just lost their parent. That is frightening. Be there for them. Perhaps, like me, you were especially close to your grandparent. I just lost my almost 102 year old granny, who was active until a few weeks ago and a very dear friend of mine who was part of my almost daily life for most of my 40+ years. I am in a new job and had to take almost 3 days off over separate days between deathbed vigils and her wake and funeral. Do not miss a beat in grieving a loved one and supporting those left to grieve. Do not regret focussing on petty distractions; as some day you will be dying and it will come back to mind. The longer grandparents live, the less you believe they will EVER die. Trust me on that.

Re your boss, be discreet but, after a little time has passed, do give them comfort and strengthen your relationship with them. Don't be paranoid; just be compassionate. 100% to yourself and your family and, after the fact, to your boss in respecting their perspective. Privately, send them an email with a picture of you and your family/grandparent. But not now. You don't need to get permission to be true to yourself and your family! Its just a job, there's more to you than your job isn't there? Just in a few weeks' time, be human and considerate to your boss also. But don't disrespect yourself and your right to grieve just because so many lie about such sacred things these days.

Essentially, if you feel you need to prove such things, while in the midst of grieving, you are not respected as a person and not being treated with dignity, and therefore you shouldn't give a sh*t either what your colleagues or boss think. But more than likely you're a good worker and merely over-sensitive to 'perceptions'. Those who lie about these things act similarly in so many other ways and are as see-through a glass. If you are not such, then stop worrying. And focus on your loved ones only.

Kind wishes

ABajaninCork

You know OP, it was very decent of your boss to allow you time off for your Grandad's funeral. Like I say, take the time off and don't worry about it.

When my FiL died, my husband's employers wouldn't give him compassionate leave for the funeral, even though a lot of his colleagues came for the removal, and some for the funeral. He had to take A/L instead. Added to the stress of my FiL's death was the fact my husband's wages were cocked up and he wasn't paid. I was shocked to learn that compassionate leave is discretionary here. Where I come from, the employer HAS to allow the time off for the death of a close relative, although the length of time will be at their discretion.

My condolences for your loss, and hope things go as well as expected tomorrow.