Therapy for childhood trauma

LegacyUser

Hi

I'm not sure what really I want to ask here.

But I'm a woman in my 30s and am currently finally getting therapy for a lot of trauma that I experienced as a child. A lot of hugely painful things that had a really horrible significant impact on my life.

I guess I'd maybe like to hear from others who've been where I am, but a little further down the road.

I know this is supposed to be hard but jeez it's so very painful, and we're only really starting the tough stuff.

I've seen this psychologist for quite a while, and we spent time building our relationship before she'd even go near the trauma stuff. Which was good. But it's hard, and I wish so much I had something to make it easier, but when I buried this stuff most of my life it's so hard to deal with now.

Also, the rest of the day after a therapy session and for maybe a day or two afterwards I am very unsettled, and riddled with emotional pain (more so than usual) and try to be extra nice to myself, but again it'd be just nice to hear from others who've been here, and any tips or advice or anything you have...

Thanks

ahnow

Hi OP,
I'm sorry to hear you're finding things so difficult. It sounds like you're doing things exactly like you're supposed to though, the phrase that stood out the most to me was "being nice" to yourself. It's exactly what you should be giving yourself at this time, and caring for yourself, and it's perhaps the opposite of what you've experienced in the past, making it all the more important and special.

I find that sleep, straight after a session helps, especially after a tough one, eating healthy and no alcohol or substances too while you're having the tough patch. I use the Tesco motto every little helps

Recently I have found something that has made an amazing difference-exercise. Not straight after, but the night before a session, and then the day after can help with the release of endorphins.
Praying can help a lot too, or meditating, what ever you like to call it, it can even be just a prayer for and to yourself for the things you want to get from this, I believe these things help change our thinking eventually to cope better and feel more positive-basically just positive affirmations. It sounds like you have a lovely and supportive therapist, and just being kind to yourself is going to make this less difficult.
Avoiding toxic or harsh situations and definately peopleif you can when you're feeling vulnerable will help a lot.

If you're feeling particularly upset or anxious perhaps a visit to the doctor for short term meds might help. I have a spare few that I use to relax me for when things are really difficult.
When you're going through a particularly difficult time always try to remember "This too shall pass", and it always does.
Best of luck to you.

Littlekittylou

I don't know a lot about childhood trauma but here goes.

Tell others around in your life you will be a bit sensitive for a day or two. I really cannot stress this enough. Ask a family member to sit with you or take your mind off it. Chill. Go for a walk. Music.

Never leave a session too raw. Have an ending a cool down.

Forgive yourself for having extremely harsh and protracted emotions. Let them go. Others will not necessarily understand or even realize it's not their place to. This is your place and your journey.

Avoid difficult or harsh people and environments at this time. Tell others to butt out if you need to. Avoid topics or materials that stir things up for a while. Keep yourself esteem high if you can. Avoid negative people. Be kind to yourself. Write things down burn them or show to your therapist. I ritualize it write things down burn them and take a shower. Use anger therapy punch a pillow I wear nice clothes and make up and make myself feel nice. I treasure myself a bit. I express my fiestiness and defiance to make myself feel safe again. I growl if I have to. I get the anger out. You will then feel empowered and like you are yourself again. We can have a lot of pent up rage.

Avoid people who remind you of any of it.

Ask your therapist , lay people often think we have good advice or can be therapists etc but that is the best place for support.

Take care op. Be selfish you need that time.

Remember this mantra. YOU ARE SUPERSTRONG. Or something that works for you. Words are powerful.
ahnow

Avoiding toxic or harsh situations and definately peopleif you can when you're feeling vulnerable will help a lot.

I agree with ahnow. In fact my therapist told me the same avoid harsh people or situations. Also don't schedule anything too emotionally charged around that time.

Take care OP.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I went to therapy (and am still in it) for childhood trauma and honestly it was the best decision I could have made. I was similar to how you describe yourself at the beginning - I felt very vulnerable and exposed, upset, sometimes mixed emotions. But trust me, to get what you want from therapy it is necessary to go through all of these painful emotions. At one stage I was so bad my friend told me she thought the therapy was causing me harm and tried to persuade me to leave! But it wasn't causing me harm at all. I was facing my trauma and beginning to heal. After about 5, 6 months of this, I began to feel better. After a year I had shed so much of the baggage I'd carried with me my whole life, and now my life has really begun to turn around.

I guess I just wanted to let you know I've been there and there is a spectacular light at the end of the tunnel. Persevere and you will get there. Good luck on your journey OP

LegacyUser

OP, I know the feeling.

As someone who's going through a similar process of therapy for the last 14 months, I can say that it's an incredibly difficult road you're starting. You may feel pain like nothing you've felt before. You may well hit rock bottom once, twice, or several times. You'll want to give up. You'll want the pain to stop, and suicide may become an enviable option.

But you are stronger than you think, and can deal with more than you can imagine. You're incredibly brave to face this, and when times are hard, remember you had the guts and determination to want to improve your life even though it would be difficult.

Be proud of yourself and know you're doing the right thing. Surround yourself with friends and laughter. Try to stay social. And if you need quiet time, that's ok too. Above all, remember you're never alone.

My best wishes to you. x

Mayboy

Hi

I've been through the therapy process. It is difficult, it is very painful at times, it is also incredibly liberating to be freed of baggage and issues you thought were yours and of your making. What I came to realise at the end was that some choices were made for me that were not good for me, some I made myself because of the deep emotional pain I was in and now with the benefit of therapy I can see those choices and not feel shame for them. I am less inclined to berate myself, judge myself or react in the same way I used to which was a cycle of self hatred and lack of understanding at where I came from.

All that said I do realise life is difficult, at times painful and at other times full of beauty and opportunity. I really wish you well, despite my difficulties I'd never change my journey. one thing I found hugely beneficial was learning to do a body scan through mindfulness practice - it was and is remains a hugely important tool that I use to touch base with my self every week. I found the writings of Jon Kabat Zinn especially useful.

Big Hug, so many have walked this road and you can too.
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