Too young, too successful. Feel completely out of place.

LegacyUser

This is a bit of a weird one to be honest. I'm not sure if anything's particularly wrong, but I'm definitely a bit uncomfortable with my current situation and I haven't a clue what I'm supposed to do about it.

I grew up poor and foreign, in a rich town. I always thought I was a had an awful sense of entitlement and it caused me such anxiety to be the one of my friends wearing shabby clothes etc.

I also had a terrifying fear of death, or eventually dying. I wouldn't be able to sleep because I was brooding so heavily on that. In order to counter that, I adapted a philosophy (Which I think is rather clever but maybe it's just self-pandering):

If you spend three months in a padded cell with absolutely nothing to do, or something repetitive to do, the perceived time (During the act) is extremely long. Paradoxically, when you recall the event, you perceive it as an extremely short period of time. A real life example would be waiting for a train for three hours, which is horrible. Yet, when it arrives, the time elapsed doesn't really feel that long!

Alternatively, if you engage in new activities constantly (A good example is a well organised vacation), the time elapsed during the act is really short. Yet, when recalling it, it feels like a much longer period of time.

I adapted this philosophy when I was probably sixteen and spent a summer vacation brooding in my room after a particularly bad breakup. Since that time (Three and a half years), I've lived in three countries, moved house eight times, visited more than 25 countries, probably read 5000 books, became extremely qualified in a rather lucrative field after a yearlong stint in self employment. (oh blah amn't I just super)

I'm at this horrible crossroads where I'm nineteen, I own a house, I'm a careerdude, I wear suits and read newspapers and I guess I'm a really boring old person. I don't fit in with my friends who are still doing the same goddamn thing they were doing five years ago, yet my colleagues are 20-30 years my senior, so I can't really assimilate within their peer group either. Hell, my old schoolfriends think I'm lying about my accomplishments so I usually don't mention them!

Also, I'm not really sure what the hell I'm supposed to do now. I have the house, the car, the job, the suits; I could even take the holidays if I knew who I was supposed to go with. I have everything I ever dreamed about as a kid, I can't really think of anything I yearn for, and that stagnation terrifies me!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

MagicMarker

Youngie Oldie wrote: »

Hell, my old schoolfriends think I'm lying about my accomplishments so I usually don't mention them!

Well apparently you've read almost 30 books a week for the last 3.5 years while travelling the world and earning a fortune, are you really surprised? I'm having a hard time believing you myself.

ShowMeTheCash

Youngie Oldie wrote: »

This is a bit of a weird one to be honest. I'm not sure if anything's particularly wrong, but I'm definitely a bit uncomfortable with my current situation and I haven't a clue what I'm supposed to do about it.

I grew up poor and foreign, in a rich town. I always thought I was a had an awful sense of entitlement and it caused me such anxiety to be the one of my friends wearing shabby clothes etc.

I also had a terrifying fear of death, or eventually dying. I wouldn't be able to sleep because I was brooding so heavily on that. In order to counter that, I adapted a philosophy (Which I think is rather clever but maybe it's just self-pandering):



I adapted this philosophy when I was probably sixteen and spent a summer vacation brooding in my room after a particularly bad breakup. Since that time (Three and a half years), I've lived in three countries, moved house eight times, visited more than 25 countries, probably read 5000 books, became extremely qualified in a rather lucrative field after a yearlong stint in self employment. (oh blah amn't I just super)

I'm at this horrible crossroads where I'm nineteen, I own a house, I'm a careerdude, I wear suits and read newspapers and I guess I'm a really boring old person. I don't fit in with my friends who are still doing the same goddamn thing they were doing five years ago, yet my colleagues are 20-30 years my senior, so I can't really assimilate within their peer group either. Hell, my old schoolfriends think I'm lying about my accomplishments so I usually don't mention them!

Also, I'm not really sure what the hell I'm supposed to do now. I have the house, the car, the job, the suits; I could even take the holidays if I knew who I was supposed to go with. I have everything I ever dreamed about as a kid, I can't really think of anything I yearn for, and that stagnation terrifies me!

I really don't know what you are talking about none of this post really makes any sense.

A part from the obvious flaws in your statements, what have you accomplished?

House? Car? A suit? Not exactly anything unusal or even notable.

You became extremely qualified in what? What qualifications did you obtain?

I see nothing of substance here or you are being deliberately vague why?

If you made some good business decisions and have become successful quickly, good for you but I find it sad this is how you are defining who you are at 19/20?

Also you mention you lived in 3 different contries from the age of 16, you were pretty young, did you tavell on your own or with your parents?
You also mention you visited 25 different countries, in that same time, call that 8 countries a year how much time did you actually spend in each of them?
As someone already mentioned you read 5000 books in this time, I doubt you got out the door when reading 4 books a day?

Penny Tration

As has been pointed out, some of your claims are quite difficult to believe, but taking it at face value - big deal!

I realise how harsh that sounds, so I'll expand.

People simply do not care about your accomplishments, bar maybe your parents (who I'm sure are extremely proud of you).

So, you have it all, superficially at least. What next?

Is your life over now that you've amassed wealth and success?

What other goals do you have?

If you have none, think of some.

Your old friends probably find it difficult to relate to you, especially if you're speaking openly about your material possessions. I'd assume that a friend is bragging if they spoke like that.

Why does having more going for you superficially mean that you can't be friends with these people? Can you no longer enjoy a night out, a video game session, a night of drinking cans and eating pizza?

You seem to have decided that now you're doing well in business, you can no longer associate with others of your age, who enjoy age appropriate activities. Why? Do you look down upon them?

Rubberchikken

if everything you've said is genuine, then congrats on having achieved so much at such a young age.

it's great to have so many things, job, house etc but if you spend your time going on about these to people you'll be left on your own with your job house etc.

a bit of modesty is called for. instead of listing out what've got and achieved, try spreading some help around to those who need it. volunteering is always good and makes a person appreciate what they have.

take care

Calibos

Was one of the books, 'the secret Life of Walter Mitty'?

eviltwin

I'm twice your age OP and haven't two beans to rub together but I'm really happy with where I am in life. I've had the career and the kudos that goes with it and if that makes someone happy more power to them but a lot of people work for that only to find it doesn't give them much emotional fulfilment.

And you know what, that's okay.

If nothing changes, nothing changes so maybe take some time out to explore other avenues and feed your soul. Maybe focus a bit less on the material things and seek out ways to broaden your horizons and have fun. Otherwise what is the point?

Fair play for all you have achieved, I can see how your early life has driven you to succeed but you can lay off the gas a bit from time to time.

Tokyo

Calibos - if you have an issue with a thread, that's what the report post button is for, and the moderators will deal with it. Off the cuff digs at the OP because you don't believe his/her story are not welcome here. If you can't post advice, then don't post at all.

~Mike

LegacyUser

It is good that you have done well for yourself over the past few years.
You have told us that you feel you don't belong with the people doing the same work as you as they are much older. The people of around your own age you have told us are still where they were a 5 years ago.

As some one older than you it is important to remember that you don't keep talking about all that you have when your friends are broke, are students or are working in a min wage job for a few hours a week.
Why not bring them on a odd night out to celebrate there birthdays or when they get a new job? If some one is short of money give them a few euro. If you have any skills that could help them why don't you say I heard you don't know much about excel - I can do this - why don't I show you how to use it?
Yes you have done well but you need to work on having friendships. It is important to remember that you don't always need to tell people about your wonderful life.
I would do also do some volunteer work.

TimeToShine

Look up impostor syndrome.

To be honest, I find it hard to believe that somebody with that much drive since he was sixteen (technicalities aside, of which believe me there are numerous) can just flop down on the couch one day and say "I've done everything".

Is it friends and companionship you're looking for? It looks like you've spent the better part of your teen years "travelling/studying/reading" and as a result you probably don't really have many proper friends. Have you considered enrolling in a college course to study something you actually want to learn about? You're only 19, and have apparently amassed a fortune which will render financial difficulty obsolete - the world is your oyster and it looks like after three years of following this very mantra somebody suddenly flicked a switch. You will forgive us if we find it difficult to believe but if you elaborate on what it is you're looking for as opposed to a vague "I have everything" post we might be able to assist you further.

descheness

You're not alone in feeling this way!

ShowMeTheCash

descheness wrote: »

You're not alone in feeling this way!

Just to tack onto this.

Something you both might want to look at and this is a serious view point I think.

<SNIP - let's leave the medical diagnoses to the professionals>

Necro

Usually don't post on these threads but this one struck me as interesting. Assuming you're telling the truth, I'll give you my two cents. I'm quite a bit older than you, haven't got two cents to rub together and haven't been able to find work despite my best efforts for almost 3 years.
But I get the sense that even despite that, I, along with most of the posters so far are much more secure and happy in our lives than yourself. I'm married with a child, living week to week at times but even though many of my friends are much more financially successful than me, I still relate to them in the same way I did ten years ago.
Are you involved in any local clubs/societies in your area? As secretary of my local GAA club, I've found it keeps me incredibly sane in the past few years and gives me a sense of worth. If you are as financially secure as you claim, why not get involved and help out via sponsorship or even simply volunteering your time?
Why not go travelling? You're young, have the means to do so - take a sabbatical and go and experience the world. There are many ways to increase your sense of self-worth and while financial security is a start, without fulfilling relationships and experience I would be asking myself what is the point?
I'm sorry if it sounds overly harsh but what you have is all materialistic, and if you have no friends or loved ones to share this with then this is what you need to fix.

dudara

@ShowMeTheCash infracted for ignoring a mod instruction. Please read the forum charter before posting again.

dudara